A Simple Kiss
by keistje
Summary: 3x9 (SanzoxGoku) - Neither one could explain why it happened, but they all knew that this could change everything. [Completed as of 611]
1. And It Begins

**Title**: A Simple Kiss

**Summary**: 3x9 (SanzoxGoku) - Neither one could explain why it happened, but they all knew that this could change everything.

**Disclaimer:** Saiyuki and its characters don't belong to me. Can't blame a girl for wishing though!

**Warnings: PG-13 **Shounen ai, 3x9 yaoi, Probably major OOC-ness, especially for Sanzo. Minor bad language, again especially for Sanzo.

It was like a cheap fairy tale. Gold met violet accidentally across a room, and time itself seemed to still. Never mind that they were both tired, that it had been a long day in the Jeep, that they hadn't been able to get away from each other in what seemed like days. When Gold met Violet, none of that mattered. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Time seemed to stretch out into nothingness, each of them seeing nothing but the opposing color.

It was Hakkai who noticed it. It was kind of surprising that Gojyo hadn't noticed the sudden quiet, except he had just ducked out the door to bother the innkeeper about supper. Expecting to hear Goku's happy babbling about the upcoming food, he noticed the complete absence of sound from the young man rather quickly. 

He glanced up at Goku standing beside him and noticed that he seemed to be watching something intently. Following the line of his gaze, he was not too surprised to find that it was the monk sitting on the windowsill that he was watching. What was surprising was that said monk was watching him right back. 

Hakkai glanced between the two, becoming uncomfortably aware of the charged atmosphere that was building. Now this was a surprise. It was easy to see Goku's love and devotion for his friend and master, but Sanzo had never responded to his pet with anything but curses and smacks. Which was why it was so very surprising to find them gazing at each other as if they were the only two in the room. 

Hakkai suddenly realized that the room felt warmer, and that his face was flushed from the heat. He couldn't help but feel that he was intruding on a private moment; a _very_ private moment. He wasn't sure if he would have been more embarrassed if he had walked in on them in bed. Not that such an occurrence ever would have been imaginable before, but at this point he wasn't too sure. 

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He had been watching Goku, but movement out of the corner of his eye brought his attention back to Sanzo. Though both had been still as statues just a moment ago, Sanzo was now slowly getting up, maintaining that unbroken connection. He took the few steps that would bring him to Goku unhurriedly, stopping when he was directly in front of the young man. 

With the two of them so close to him – He was sitting at the table right next to where Goku was standing – Hakkai could feel the heat coming off both of them in waves. They had both obviously forgotten he was there, and neither had looked away from the other for even a split second. 

As he watched, frozen in astonishment at the scene playing out in front of him, Sanzo lifted his hand and placed it on Goku's cheek, stroking his face with his thumb. Goku leaned almost imperceptibly into that touch, and brought his own hand up to cover Sanzo's. It almost seemed to Hakkai that he could hear whispers in the room, though no one was speaking. He thought he heard murmuring, faint noises he could hardly identify, though he did snatch the word 'sun' out of the swirling wind of words. 

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Both of the actors in this play of emotions had stilled themselves again, as if frozen with this small measure of contact. Then suddenly, they both moved at the same time, Goku stretching up a little, and Sanzo leaning down a little, and their lips met. For the first time in what seemed hours, both sets of eyes closed. 

Hakkai couldn't take it anymore, he felt like a voyeur of the basest level. He shifted away from the pair, and as if he had shouted, the spell broke. Sanzo and Goku leapt apart, both flushing to the roots of their hair in the deepest red Hakkai had ever seen on either of them. It was especially startling to see the normally pale monk flushed with so much color. 

They were both breathing deeply, gasping for more air than the simple kiss could have robbed them of. Hakkai, glancing away from them in embarrassment, found that he was breathing deeply as well, and his heart seemed to be beating twice its normal speed. 

When he calmed himself, he glanced back at the two. Sanzo had retreated back to the window, and Goku had distanced himself across to the other side of the room, settling himself on the other windowsill there. Hakkai was surprised that while Sanzo had settled himself in his own window seat, his eyes had snapped back onto Goku. 

Hakkai caught his breath at the emotions displayed in those normally impervious violet eyes. He could see hunger, lust, love, and overlying them all, a deep and intense longing. If he hadn't just watched the little scene in front of him, he wouldn't have believed that these emotions were showing from Sanzo. 

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The door was thrown open at that moment, and all three heads snapped around to see Gojyo stumbling in, weighed down with enough food to feed an army. He kicked the door shut with one foot, then barely made it to the table before dumping his parcels. "Anyone hungry?" He asked, glancing around with a grin. His grin slowly faded off his face as he took in the remains of the charged atmosphere still lingering in the room. 

He glanced at Goku, who had turned back to the window, then at Sanzo, who was still watching Goku when he realized the kappa was watching him. Sanzo's head snapped back towards the window as if he had never been looking anywhere else. 

Gojyo then looked down at Hakkai, a questioning and confused look on his face. He opened his mouth to ask, but Hakkai silenced him with a quick shake of his head. A puzzled frown appeared on his face for a second, but he shrugged it off and began to unload the bags, letting the smell of hot food fill the room. 

It didn't take long after that for Goku to drift towards the table, then Sanzo. Just a few minutes longer and everything seemed back to normal; Goku and Gojyo fighting over the food, Sanzo hitting them with his fan, and Hakkai playing the peacemaker. Everything _seemed_ normal, but Hakkai watched his friends closely, and noticed the little looks Goku and Sanzo threw at each other when they thought no one was watching. 'Oh my,' thought Hakkai, 'this could get… interesting.'

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AN: This the first fan fiction that I have posted, so I would love to hear what you have to say about it. I know I am bad about reading stories and then not reviewing, so I know what a pain it can be. That being said, I need your enthusiasm to help me figure out where this is going. So all comments are welcome and desired! 


	2. Pondering Change

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 2: Pondering Change

**Summary**: 3x9 (SanzoxGoku) - Neither one could explain why it happened, but they all knew that this could change everything.

**Disclaimer:** Saiyuki and its characters don't belong to me. Can't blame a girl for wishing though!

**Warnings: PG-13 **Shounen ai, 3x9 yaoi, Probably major OOC-ness, especially for Sanzo. Minor bad language, again especially for Sanzo.

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They had gotten lucky this time; the inn had been nearly deserted, so they had all gotten single rooms connected to a common room. Despite the fact that they spent all day forced in each other's company, they still spent the entire evening in the common room. Gojyo and Sanzo played cards, and Hakkai worked with Goku on studying ki techniques.

Goku had taken a great interest in the fighting techniques that Hakkai used, and Hakkai was more than willing to teach the young man everything he could. Goku would normally listen intently to everything he had to say, but tonight he seemed distracted, and kept glancing away from Hakkai to sneak a peek at Sanzo. 

When his glances grew longer and closer together, Hakkai gave up trying to keep his attention and suggested they all play Mahjong. The others agreed with varying degrees of enthusiasm, and they sat down to play, Sanzo and Goku across from each other and Hakkai and Gojyo at the ends of the table. They played through the evening, and as the night and the room grew darker, Hakkai saw that both Sanzo and Goku were distracted from the game. How they managed to glance at each other that often and not lock gazes he wasn't sure, but they managed it somehow. 

He started to sense that charge in the air again, and a glance at Gojyo showed that the other man had picked up on it as well. He was looking between Goku and Sanzo while waiting for the others to take their turns, a faint look of disbelief on his face. After realizing that Sanzo had missed three tiles that would have won him the game, Hakkai knew that he had his mind elsewhere. 

He yawned loudly and stretched, then pushed back from the table. As the others looked at him, he stated that it was late and they had better retire for the night if they wanted to get going early the next morning. They cleaned up their mess and headed off to their respective rooms. He didn't miss the charged look that Sanzo threw at Goku's back as the young man stepped into his room.

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Hakkai had just sat down on the bed when a soft knock sounded at his door. He had been waiting for this, so just called softly for Gojyo to enter. The redhead came in and shut the door quietly behind him, crossing the small space to slouch in the only chair in the room. 

"You want to tell me what's going on, or am I going to have to beat it out of the monkey?"

Hakkai smiled, one of his real smiles, both at Gojyo's bluntness and his obvious agitation at the evening's events. 

Gojyo snorted softly. "I didn't just imagine that then, the way they were glancing at each other all night? And you could just feel the electricity in the air. I kept waiting for my hair to stand on end. I'm not sure which is worse, the monk in a bad mood and the kid whining, or this quiet yet intense atmosphere! Either way I feel like a bad move is going to get me shot."

Hakkai didn't really respond to what he had said, instead mentioning something else he had been thinking about as the evening drew on. "Have you noticed how much Goku has grown up during this journey? When we first met them he looked and acted like a child. When we started out on this journey it was obvious that he had gotten older looking, but he didn't really act that much older. But now, after two years on the road, he is really growing and maturing, both physically and emotionally. Especially recently. Have you noticed that he is almost as tall as Sanzo now?"

Gojyo snorted again. "Yeah, I guess he is. But height doesn't make you an adult, and he definitely isn't one."

"No, not yet, but he has come a long way in such little time. I think if you take a good look at him now you will see that he acts much more like the older teen that he should be." Hakkai expected Gojyo to laugh at this statement and deny it violently, but to his surprise the kappa just looked thoughtful and almost a bit embarrassed.

"I wouldn't have said something if you hadn't brought it up, but yeah, I have noticed that the little monkey has changed. Not all the time, mind you, he still acts like a child once in a while." Gojyo grinned widely at that, "But there are also times that I see the ages in him." His grin faded away as he added, "Sometimes I have to remind myself that he is 500 years older than the rest of us, but when I see that look in his eyes it isn't that hard to imagine."

Hakkai nodded silently. He had also seen that look, and it kind of scared him. Eyes that old didn't belong on such a young man. 

"Have you noticed that he eats more like a normal person now?" Gojyo continued, "Of course he still eats more than the three of us together, but he isn't always complaining about being hungry either. And I think he fights with me during dinner just because he thinks it's expected of him. It's pretty much the only time that Sanzo gets to use that stupid fan anymore. At least on him. I'm not that lucky apparently."

Hakkai laughed at that. "He has really taken to the ki techniques I've been teaching him. He learns so quickly. We always knew he had an amazing amount of power, and he is showing the ability to control a little of that with the techniques I've been showing him. I don't think it will be long before he surpasses me in his abilities. I don't have a fraction of the raw power he carries even with his limiter on. He just needed someone to show him how to focus it. And if he is eventually able to combine his use of it with Nyoibou, he is going to be nearly unstoppable."

Gojyo shook his head in wonder. Sure the kid - he couldn't help but still think of him as such - had raised a shield occasionally in their last few battles, but he hadn't realized that he had gotten that good. "It's hard to believe this is the same kid we started on this journey with. And apparently Sanzo has noticed as well." 

He trailed off as this train of thought took him to places he wasn't sure he wanted to go. Sanzo and Goku together? He never would have thought it was possible for the icy monk to actually feel something other than irritation for the kid, but it wasn't irritation that had filled the air tonight. No, it was something almost completely opposite. 

"Do you think this has anything to do with our battle this afternoon?" Gojyo ventured, not really wanting to remind Hakkai of the incident, but wanting to know what the other man thought.

"I don't really know, but it could. Goku really scared all of us. Maybe Sanzo finally realized how much he means to Goku." 

Hakkai yawned quietly and Gojyo took the hint. "Well, I should head off to bed. It's going to be interesting traveling with those two tomorrow. I hope this doesn't make things difficult."

Hakkai nodded his agreement. "I doubt that Sanzo will allow himself to get distracted from our little mission, but I kind of hope..." He paused for a second, then continued in an almost distracted voice, "I hope that he gives Goku a chance. Those two have been deeply connected since before Sanzo brought Goku down from the mountain, and maybe this is just an extension of that connection that hadn't yet been explored."

Gojyo stood and headed for the door, but turned towards Hakkai before opening it. "I just hope that Sanzo thinks things through before he lets anything happen. Goku is… well, I hate to admit it, but he is like a little brother to me, and I don't want to see him hurt. And Sanzo is the type to hurt someone deeply." He sighed. "Well, apparently Sanzo isn't as impervious to Goku's affection as we thought he was." With that he opened the door and stepped out.

As the door closed behind Gojyo, Hakkai lay down and pulled up the blankets. 'No, apparently he isn't. But it's what he's going to do about that affection that worries me.'

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AN: 

And another chapter heads to the firing squad. It was so nice to hear the lovely reviews, I'm glad you like this so far. Hope this chapter didn't disappoint, even though it didn't really have any SanzoxGoku moments in it. Don't worry, the next chapter will pretty much be all about them. 

So here's a question. When I first started this story I hadn't really thought much past this night and the next morning, but if you guys have any interest I'll try my hand at continuing their journey for a little while. So, should I end this when they leave the inn, or would you guys stick with me for a longer journey? Let me know what you think. Also, can anyone tell me if there are any instances of Seiten Taisei using Nyoibou, or just Goku? I haven't seen any, but I wanted to make sure. 

Same old story, please review and let me know what you liked or didn't like. 

My thanks to my reviewers:

dream-eater-is-hungry: Yeah, I was kind of upset that Hakkai interrupted the moment, but I thought there needed to be a little more development before things really start happening. I hope you weren't disappointed in this chapter, I promise you will get more of them in the next one. I noticed the paragraphing thing as well, but didn't have time to change it until later that night. I think this one went better, let me know what you think. I guess that's what I get for making the first chapter contain almost no dialogue. This one was easier, cause conversations pretty much paragraph themselves.

Yoyo: I'm glad you like my portrayals of the characters. It's fun to get inside their heads and try to look out from their eyes. Hakkai is pretty easy, mainly because I'm using him primarily for an observer, and Gojyo is the same way. Goku isn't that bad either, his childlike nature and attitude are pretty easy to capture from the anime and the manga, though I am trying to make him just a _little_ bit more mature. It's Sanzo that I'm really worried about. He is just such a fascinatingly complex character, and I really want him to be as in character as I can get him. I'm afraid that he may come out based more on what I've read in fanfics than on what's actually in the anime. I guess only time will tell. I'm not sure about Seiten Taisei showing up, it will depend on whether or not people are interested in reading beyond what happens in the inn. I think he could be fun to write though.

Ryo: This chapter wasn't that much longer than the first one, was it? Sorry, things just look longer in Word, and sometimes breaks seem to occur naturally. I promise to try harder though!

Am1-13th: I'm glad you like it. Thanks!

mabaroshi16: Unique, huh? I never really thought of it that way, but I'm pleased that you do. I hope you liked this chapter as well. I wanted to let you know that I just loved Sweet Raptured Light. It was so wonderfully fluffy!

Pervasive Threnody: Ask and ye shall receive. I've got the third chapter mostly done as well, so it should be coming soon. 

Person: I definitely understand being an anime addict, and a Saiyuki one in particular. Hope this satisfies at least a little bit.

Anael Razualle: Thanks!

Anthey Oom: Thanks for the compliment. I've just started getting into Mirai 1: Be There, and have enjoyed it so far. I'm a big Sci-Fi fan, so you have mixed two of my favorites together. I'm looking forward to getting into the second Arc when I have the time. By the time you read the first chapter, I had already gone back to fix the paragraphing, so you didn't get to see it when it was awful. I just didn't have the time to fix it right then, so I fixed it later that night.

Forsaken^On3: Sorry this didn't have Sanzo and Goku confessing, but I felt I needed an outside viewer to explain some of the changes that make it possible. I think you will like the next chapter though; they will get a little action in. Thanks for the encouragement, I need it sometimes! 

Tsuki-chan00: I agree, I can never get enough of the great 39 pairing either. Here's another chapter for you, and the next one should be up soon.

Neko: Thank you!

Yuki Kurai: Liked that line, did you? I did too. Here you go. 


	3. Moonlight Surprises

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 3: Moonlight Surprises

**Summary**: 3x9 (SanzoxGoku) - Neither one could explain why it happened, but they all knew that this could change everything.

**Disclaimer:** Saiyuki and its characters don't belong to me. Can't blame a girl for wishing though!

**Warnings: PG-13 **Shounen ai, 3x9 yaoi, Probably major OOC-ness, especially for Sanzo. Minor bad language, again especially for Sanzo.

AN: I loved writing this chapter, and I'm pretty happy with the way it came out. I hope you are too.

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Goku lay back on his bed. He had been staring up at the ceiling but not really seeing it for almost an hour now. He should have been asleep by now, but the whirlwind of emotions in his heart and brain wouldn't let him relax. What had happened tonight? He could still recall the heat that had filled him when he locked onto Sanzo's violet gaze. The more he thought about it, the more the heat filled him again. He shoved the blankets off to let the cool night air caress his skin. 

Had he imagined it? Maybe the heat was a fever and he was getting sick. That would be a decent explanation for the hallucination that Sanzo had kissed him, though he didn't really feel sick. But how else to explain the kiss?  That hadn't really happened, had it? 

As much as Goku had always wished for any kind of reaction from the cold monk, he had never really expected anything from him. Especially not anything like this. He could count on one hand the number of times Sanzo had given him an obviously kind or comforting gesture. Not that the kiss they had shared had exactly been comforting. Actually it had been shocking, intense, mind-blowing, and lots of other words he didn't bother thinking up, but mainly it had been… wonderful. Thinking of the kiss was heating him up again, and he found himself wanting a glass of water.

Padding his way barefoot to the door of his room, he opened it quietly and stole out into the common room towards the sink. Trying to be as quiet as possible out of respect for his sleeping companions, he brought a glass down from the shelf and filled it half full of cool water. He pressed the chilly glass against his forehead for a second, reveling in the cool touch against his heated skin, then drank it down. He stood there for a few minutes more, staring at the now empty glass in his hand, feeling the tension slowly ebb out of him. 

He began to wonder idly if it would happen again, but stomped that thought down as fast as it appeared. He would _not_ think about how much he had enjoyed it, and how much he had wanted it to continue after they were interrupted. It's not like Sanzo would ever allow it to happen again anyway. Whatever had possessed the man earlier, the spell had been broken and the opportunity lost. Goku tried not to feel saddened by the realization. 

He was starting to feel sleepy now, so placed the glass in the sink – he would worry about washing it in the morning - and turned to head back to his room. And froze. Silhouetted in the moonlight coming through the glass, Sanzo was sitting in the window again, so quietly that even Goku, with his enhanced hearing, hadn't noticed anyone else in the room. 

The diffuse light glinted off his golden locks and porcelain skin, making him almost glow. The ethereal sight took Goku's breath away. Not that Sanzo on a normal day wasn't incredibly attractive, but sitting like this in just his leathers and jeans, with that almost glow, he looked like a god, or at least an angel. A fallen angel, true, but an angel nonetheless. Goku had to push back the desire to touch the other man to make sure he was really there and not just a dream.

Sanzo made no movement to indicate he knew he was there, but Goku could tell by his profile that he was faced this way. Besides, it was rare for Sanzo to be unaware of what was going on around him, and Goku knew he was lit up by the moonlight through the window. Maybe Sanzo was asleep in the window? He knew this was not the case as soon as Sanzo moved, placing a cigarette in between his lips and lighting it. The flickering light highlighted Sanzo's face for a second, and Goku realized that Sanzo was looking straight at him. 

He started in that split second that their eyes met, feeling as if he had been burned. He was too far away to see exactly what was in those eyes, but he could feel the electric charge that had passed between them. He was reminded of the atmosphere that had built during their encounter earlier, and wondered what it meant. He and Sanzo had spent years together with nothing like this occurring. What had changed so much that now there was this exciting tension between them? And why was it wreaking such havoc on his nerves? He should have been happy at Sanzo reacting to him like that, but he couldn't help but wonder why. All this un-Sanzo like behavior was disturbing him. 

Goku took a deep breath to steady himself, then turned and walked towards his room. Sanzo had made no indication that he wanted company, and Goku wasn't about to risk the wrath of the fan to say something to him. Just because that fan had made less appearances lately didn't mean that it was gone for good. 

He had only taken a step or two when Sanzo called his name quietly. He tried to still the shiver that coursed down his back from hearing that voice; that dark velvety voice that belonged only to Sanzo, but also seemed to have a depth he couldn't remember having heard before. Somewhere in the back of his mind he noted that Sanzo had used his name instead of calling him a monkey. As if that wasn't an odd enough occurrence, he also wasn't sure he had ever heard his name called with such quiet hunger, and it awakened a hunger in himself that he hadn't known existed. He stilled for a second to collect himself, then turned to face Sanzo.

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Sanzo watched Goku as he quietly came out of his room and got a glass of water. He was slightly amused at the fact that Goku hadn't noticed him yet, but realized that the young man's thoughts were elsewhere as he stood and stared at the empty glass in his hand. He watched as Goku placed the glass back in the sink, and was waiting for the reaction when he turned and saw him sitting in the window. He saw Goku still at the sight of him, and idly wondered what the boy was thinking. 

Sanzo didn't exactly know what _he_ was thinking either. He had been lying on his bed when he felt a strong desire for another smoke, and remembered that he had left his cigarettes on the table in the other room. After getting up and retrieving them, he realized that he wasn't all that sleepy and seated himself in the window, enjoying the view of the courtyard outside bathed in the strong moonlight. 

Losing himself in the quiet night, he didn't even realize he had never lit the cigarette he had come out here for. He let his mind wander through the past week, shying away from the events earlier in the evening. He didn't understand what had happened, but he didn't really want to think about it at the moment. 

He came back to reality to find that he had his fingers pressed lightly to his lips, reminding him uncomfortably of the kiss they had shared. He realized that he was blushing slightly, as it was apparent that while his mind had obeyed his command not to think about the kiss, his body hadn't taken the command seriously. He sighed to himself at his own weakness and glanced once more out the window, getting ready to head back to his bedroom. That was when he heard Goku's door slide open quietly and Goku himself emerge from the room. 

Now Goku was standing there, just watching him, and he almost blushed at the heat that passed through his body at the sight of the lanky young man frozen there in the moonlight. The subtle light bathed Goku's long limbs and young face, making the simple white shorts and t-shirt he slept in glow, glinting off those captivating golden eyes. He tore his eyes away for a second and reached for a cigarette with hands he was glad to see weren't shaking. It wouldn't do to show any sort of weakness to anyone, even to Goku. 

He brought the cigarette up to his lips and flicked the lighter into life. His eyes connected with Goku's golden ones in the second that it took him to light the cigarette, and he felt that familiar electric charge go through him for the second time that night. He almost started just as Goku did, but controlled his muscles through sheer force of his powerful will. After betraying himself earlier, he wasn't about to let it happen again. He could tell that Goku noticed the atmosphere building, and curious despite himself as to what the young man would do about it, sat patiently and didn't say anything. 

He was almost disappointed, but not surprised, when Goku turned and headed back towards his room. The monkey had been on the receiving end of his anger more than once for disturbing him, and it seemed he had learned his lesson. Panic flared for just a second, surprising him in its intensity, and he found himself calling Goku's name before he knew what he was doing. He almost didn't recognize his own voice when it came out. He was shocked at the emotion in it. How could Goku have stirred him that much? Goku stopped at his call, then turned. Sanzo wished he were close enough to see what was going through those golden eyes.  

Almost as if Goku had heard this unspoken desire – then again, Sanzo thought, with this connection they seemed to have tonight, maybe he had - he took a few steps tentatively towards the window Sanzo was sitting in. The young man stopped, still a few feet away, and gazed at Sanzo with an unreadable expression on his face. _That_ took Sanzo by surprise. He couldn't remember a time that he hadn't been able to tell what Goku was thinking just by looking at him. He schooled his face though, and made sure no emotion showed through. 

Not really sure what had made him call out to Goku, or what to do now that he had responded, Sanzo just sat there. He looked away, the look on Goku's face making him inexplicably uncomfortable, and took another drag off his cigarette. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the smoke drift away from him, and then looked back at Goku. 

Goku was still looking at him with that unreadable expression, but his eyes had softened into golden pools in which Sanzo found himself drowning. He hadn't even realized he had moved until he saw his own hand outstretched towards Goku. The young man stared at him for a second, unmoving, then slowly stepped forwards. Goku hesitantly reached out and placed his hand in Sanzo's, his uncertainty written clearly on his face now. Sanzo was relieved that he could once again read what the saru was thinking. 

Sanzo started when he felt Goku's hand touch his lightly, even though he had been the one to initiate the simple contact. His mind screamed at him to think about what he was doing, but he couldn't. He didn't understand it himself, he just knew that he was acting on an instinct stronger than he could resist. As if he was an observer rather than the one doing it, he watched his hand twist up under Goku's to lace their fingers together. The young man's eyes widened in surprise and shifted from his face towards their joined hands. Sanzo found himself frowning slightly; he wanted to see what was in those eyes. 

He drew his arm back, drawing Goku with it, closing the distance between them. Goku's eyes snapped back to his face, and he noted with amusement the faint flush that had crept into his cheeks. He could feel his own cheeks flush with warmth as he drew him closer.  

"S-S-Sanzo?" The boy stammered, flustered at this unexpected chain of events. Sanzo didn't bother to reply, just pulled him until he was standing next to the window seat. Having brought him so close that their noses were almost touching, Sanzo stared into the golden eyes that filled almost his whole field of vision. Everything seemed to still as they stared into each other's eyes. He could feel Goku trembling slightly, could feel his own slight trembling, but it didn't matter. All that mattered were those eyes.

Goku seemed as if he was about to speak, but something in Sanzo didn't want to hear anything that would break this spell. He tilted his head and pressed his lips to Goku's. The contact was light and brief, but it filled him with a wondrous sense of elation. He couldn't remember ever having felt like this before. He was about to press for more when Goku's hand twitched in his and he came back to himself. He drew back just enough so he could see the saru's face. 

Those eyes, those beautiful golden eyes, stared at him in confusion. Goku opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to decide against it. Instead, a look of intense love and longing crossed his face and filled his eyes. To Sanzo's surprise, Goku leaned forward and captured his mouth again, tightening his grasp on Sanzo's hand at the same time that their lips met. Sanzo felt a hand caress the back of his neck and wind itself into his golden hair, pulling him even closer to the young man. He tried not to shiver at the sensual contact but failed. With this kiss he saw stars against the back of his eyelids, and could feel his heart beating wildly. He couldn't breath, couldn't think, couldn't do anything other than exist as he ran his tongue along Goku's lower lip, urging him to open his mouth slightly. Their tongues touched lightly, dancing around each other. Sanzo felt like he was floating, until…

"Fuck!" The curse rang out loudly in the quiet room, startling Goku almost as much as his quick exit from the kiss. As Goku looked at him in astonishment, Sanzo dropped the cigarette into the nearby ashtray. He'd forgotten about it until it had burned down to his fingers. "Shit, that _hurt_."

The moment disturbed, but not totally shattered, Sanzo decided that this was not the place for such things, as he didn't really want to have to shoot either Hakkai or Gojyo if they should happen to wander out unexpectedly. Well, he wouldn't mind shooting the kappa, but definitely not Hakkai. Besides, who would drive if not for Hakkai? 

Goku had released him and backed up a few steps at his exclamation, so Sanzo slid off the window seat and stood up. He extended his hand to Goku again, and this time the boy took it without hesitation. Deciding that no words needed to be spoken, he drew the young man with him to his room, shutting the door behind them.

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AN:

This chapter was so much fun to write, I just loved it! I hope you liked it as well. Don't worry, this isn't the end, we will join them in the room in the next chapter. For all those who asked about the incident that Gojyo and Hakkai talked about, don't worry, it will be explained in the next chapter. It's not a reference to any battle in the anime or manga. 

I want to give a special thanks to stitcher2ficcer. Her story, Awakenings, inspired me to write my story, and her help with this chapter and everything else has just been invaluable. Thank you so much; you are such a wonderful person! 

Till next time, please review!

My thanks to my lovely reviewers. You guys make this all worth it! Thanks to everyone for answering my Goku / Seiten Taisei Nyoibou question. The consencous seems to be that no one has seen Seiten Taisei use Nyoibou, but he is pictured with it, so I can pretty much do whatever I want without departing too far from canon.

Koori No Kokoro: This is the first story that I have posted on FF.net, and I wanted to see how well it was received. After such a wonderful welcoming, I will definitely have to keep writing!

kitiara_uth_matar: I don't really think that Hakkai and Gojyo need to play matchmaker, but that is a great idea for a future story! And maybe I'll use a little of that in the future.

gallatica: I am really honored that you are enjoying my story. I've read all your stuff and loved it all. Hope this chapter kept up the intensity. Thanks for the chocolates!

Forsaken^On3: I hope this chapter satisfied your desire for Sanzo/Goku. 

Pervasive Threnody: This chapter is a bit longer, hope you didn't read it too fast again. I'm glad you are enjoying it. 

Yuki Kurai: This chapter took a little longer to update, but I was on vacation, so it had to wait until I got back. I hope this is still one of your favorites!

R.A.Ducko: Please be patient with the loose ends. If I don't clear them up soon, you can yell at me then. I know I used the electricity reference again, I hope it didn't detract. I'll try to be better in the future.

mabaroshi16: Hope you were happy with Sanzo and Goku's thoughts here. It was fun to write! I like the Goku ki thing as well, I think it's a neat idea. I'm honored to have your longest review, that's awesome!

katie: Here you go, let me know if you didn't get the email I sent.

person: You asked, and here it is. The next chapter will be a Sanzo/Goku POV as well (at least mostly). I think that Gojyo can be serious when he wants to, he just doesn't have a reason to be that often.

rulerofthecows: Are the cows happy with this? I haven't heard any outside my window, so I hope so. 

Mitsko: Thanks!

shelley: I'm glad you like my style, I was a little worried about how it would be received. Yeah, I was using that cliché on purpose, I thought it fit. 

Yoyo: Tissues? I didn't think this had that much angst in it. I don't like Goku as the wimpy little boy either, I think he has so much potential that people don't use. I'm glad you like this though!

acern: There should be some fluff, but I have trouble seeing Sanzo as a very fluffy person, so I'm working for passion and intensity rather than fluff.

CallMeMisery2: Thank you, I'm glad you like it!

Zek Majiri: I hadn't actually intended to have any Hakkai/Gojyo, but if I continue this into their journey than I just might. I am a little worried about how well I can get into Hakkai's head. He is such a deep character. 

dragon kepper: Hope you enjoyed this little moment with them. Things are just starting to heat up.


	4. Motivations Illuminated

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 4: Motivations Illuminated

**Warnings: PG-13 **This is where the yaoi comes in folks, so if you don't like that kind of thing, please don't read it. Minor bad language, for both Sanzo and Goku.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Goku let Sanzo pull him into the small bedroom, then backed up against the bed until he felt the edge of it hit his knees. He collapsed gratefully onto it, not sure that his trembling legs would have supported him for much longer. Goku watched as Sanzo closed the door and then leaned against it gracefully. He found that he couldn't look the monk in the face no matter how hard he tried. It was like his eyes had a life of their own. 

Goku couldn't remember a time when he had been so confused and yet so filled with certainty that what was happening was right. He had been astonished when Sanzo had reached out to him, couldn't believe it when the man had laced their fingers together and pulled him close. But when Sanzo had leaned forward and kissed him, something in him told him that this was the way it was supposed to be. 

He had surprised himself by seeking Sanzo's lips a second time, especially with the ferocity with which he had done it. Wanting to be closer to his sun, he had drawn his hand up the man's neck until he could bury it in his golden hair, pulling him forward. While they had been connected for longer than they remembered, he had never felt closer to Sanzo than he had right then. 

When Sanzo had pulled back with a curse, his first thought had been that Sanzo was rejecting his advances. His apprehension had changed to relief instantly when he saw the monk drop the cigarette he had been smoking into the ashtray and shake the hand he had burned. His concern about Sanzo's slight injury had warred with his elation that he hadn't been rejected. 

So now here they were, but things were becoming uncomfortable.  

Goku searched for a way to break the silence, finally looking up and realizing that Sanzo was still shaking his burned hand slightly. He got up from the bed and walked over to him, taking the hand in his own and bringing it up to peer at the fingers closely. They were slightly red, but not seriously burned. Without thinking, he reached down inside himself and captured a little bit of ki, sending it through his fingers and into Sanzo's hand. A cool green glow lit his fingertips for a second, then faded away. Examining the hand still in his, he noted with satisfaction that the red seemed to have faded entirely. 

He looked up at Sanzo with a slight smile on his face. "Better?" The smile disappeared as he took in Sanzo's shocked expression. He dropped the monk's hand and took a step back.

Sanzo just stared at him for a second, then looked down at his hand. "How did you do that? I didn't know that Hakkai was teaching you healing."

"He isn't. I…I don't know how I did it. I just knew that I could, so I did."  

Sanzo didn't say anything, just looked at him. Goku felt even more uncomfortable than he had before, and retreated back to the bed. He looked down at his hands, wondering what had possessed him to heal the other man like that. He hadn't been lying; he wasn't sure how he had known he could do it. 

"Goku"

He looked up at his name to find Sanzo watching him. There was a weird expression on his face that Goku couldn't place, but he was more surprised that there was actually something showing on that normally expressionless face.

"This afternoon, during the fight…. Why? Why did you do it?"

"Why did I do what? You mean go after the sword?"

Sanzo nodded.

"Why not? I had to make sure you weren't hurt." Goku was mortified to find that he was blushing slightly at this admission. 

"You could have been killed, or at least hurt badly."

"But I wasn't, and more importantly, neither were you. So it's all right. It was just an accident."

Sanzo looked away from him then, turning towards the window. Goku followed his gaze outside, but in his mind's eye he could see the battle happening.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

It was just another battle in a long string of them, day after day, and while Goku fought with his normal skill, he found his enthusiasm waning. What he wouldn't give for an opponent that was a little more challenging. He wondered where Kougaiji was, and if they would get to continue their fight soon. Now that was a challenge!

Finishing his fights with ease, he turned to check on the rest of the group. Sanzo was to his left, in the process of shooting the last of the youkai coming after him. Hakkai was across from him, and Goku watched with slight envy as he released a large ki ball into the last two youkai in front of him. Gojyo was to his right, coming back through the trees after having chased the last of his quarry down. He wiped the blade of his weapon on the grass, cleaning it, and then shot a thumbs up to Goku. 

Goku turned to head back with the others to where they had left Hakuryuu when movement caught his eye. He whipped back around when he realized that it was a youkai, bleeding profusely from major wounds. He noticed the sword in the youkai's hand as he sprinted towards him, but paid it no mind until the demon threw it. Following the path with his eyes, he panicked when he realized it would hit Sanzo in the back. 

He rapidly changed his direction to intercept the weapon, pushing himself to sprint even faster, noting the flash of white light out of the corner of his eye that meant Hakkai had taken care of the youkai. He ran diagonally towards the weapon, closing on it fast, but not fast enough to prevent it from hitting Sanzo. He closed his eyes for a split second, took two powerful strides, then launched himself into the air. 

His hand made contact with the sword, knocking it out of the air just before the ki blast hit him in the chest, throwing him backwards. He gasped as the air was punched from his lungs, and felt his chest burning as he plowed into the ground. His last thought before unconsciousness took him was to wonder if he had made it in time. 

Sanzo didn't realize anything was happening until Gojyo yelled his name. He spun around at the fear in the man's voice, and saw the sword nearly upon him. There wasn't time to dodge the deadly weapon. At nearly the same instant he noticed Goku sprinting towards him, closing in on the missile. Some detached part of his brain registered that he had never seen the boy move so fast. He saw him leap into the air, batting the weapon to the ground right before it hit him. Sanzo didn't even have time to breathe a sigh of relief before Goku was knocked to the ground at his feet by Hakkai's ki blast. His eyes widened in horror. He heard Hakkai and Gojyo running towards him, but he froze, staring at Goku's unmoving body. 

Hakkai dropped to his knees on the ground next to Goku, practically yelling the boy's name in his horror at what he had just done. He had seen the weapon, known its intended target, and had thrown a ki blast to knock it away. It wasn't until the fireball was out of his hands that he saw Goku moving in the same direction. He could do nothing but watch as the two collided, throwing Goku to the ground. Even as he moved across the clearing towards him, he noted with relief that both his other companions seemed to have avoided injury. That meant he could use all his ki on Goku. 

Hakkai ripped away the burned and still smoking shirt from Goku's body, and they all winced as the red and blistered flesh came into view. He heard Gojyo beside him, but didn't turn away from Goku as the man breathlessly commented, "He took a full blast to the chest. He should be dead." 

Hakkai shook his head. "No, not a fully charged blast. I was only trying to knock the weapon away." Still, he knew that even the weakened blast could do a great deal of harm. He lifted Goku's head and shoulders, trying to pull his shirt further away from the burn. 

At the movement, Goku's eyes drifted open. He struggled to sit up, almost hitting Hakkai in the process, then hissed as the full pain from his chest hit him. He clenched his fists, but ignored the pain as he looked wildly around. "Sanzo. Did I make it in time? Is he… "

Sanzo stepped around Gojyo into the young man's field of vision and Goku relaxed visibly. "I thought… I was afraid I wouldn't make it, that neither of us would make it."

Sanzo raised an eyebrow at this last statement, but didn't get to respond as Goku was already speaking again.

"This hurts, Hakkai. Remind me never to piss you off."

Hakkai had stilled at Goku's previous statement, and this comment made him pale further. Finding his voice at last, he managed to croak, "Goku, did you see the blast coming?"

Goku looked at him. "I had to make sure one of us got it before it got to Sanzo."

There was quiet as the three men gathered around Goku digested this information. 

Sanzo spoke up first. "How dare you? How dare you so blatantly throw your life away to save mine. I've told you before, I don't need your damn protection." His relief at seeing the boy alive was quickly displaced by a rage that shook him to the depths of his soul. He refused to think about why he was so angered by Goku's action, refused to draw the parallels to Koumyou's death. 

Hakkai and Gojyo looked at him with confusion written on their faces, puzzled at the level of his anger. Goku stared at him, hurt seeping into his eyes. "I'm sorry, I just… sorry." The boy trailed off, averting his eyes.

Hakkai continued to watch Sanzo, and the blond saw the sudden dawn of comprehension in his eyes. He couldn't take that look and turned his back to the group.

Goku looked to Hakkai for answers, but he could give him none. Instead he said, "Goku, this looks like a pretty bad burn. I'm so sorry, I didn't see you in time."

Goku brushed his words off with a shrug. "Look, it's no big deal. I'm rechargeable, remember? Really, I'm fine Hakkai, it doesn't hurt that much." To prove his point he pushed himself to his feet. He made it to a standing position, but then pitched forward, right into the arms of his guardian, who had turned back around at his statement. 

Goku looked up in surprise at Sanzo and managed to say, "Okay, maybe it hurts a little" before sliding into unconsciousness again.

Sanzo looked down at the monkey in his arms and said nothing but "Idiot". 

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Thinking about the battle made Goku cringe again as he recalled the pain that had radiated out from his chest. He had woken up in the inn with Hakkai hovering over him, healing the burned flesh. Now there was nothing to see but a large red patch. He could still see a little of the red flesh peeking over the top of his t-shirt, but at least it didn't hurt anymore. 

Sanzo had turned back to him sometime during his ruminating, and he looked up to see those violet eyes searching his face. 

"Does it still hurt?"

"No." Goku answered truthfully. "I was just remembering."

"I meant what I said. I don't need anyone to protect me."

"I know that." Goku said quietly. "But you can't expect me to just stand by and watch you get hurt when I can do something to stop it."

Sanzo strode over to the bed and grabbed the young man's chin with angry fingers, yanking his face up towards him. "Damn it, I will not have another person sacrifice themselves to save me. I will _not_ live with the death of another person on my conscience. Not Gojyo, not Hakkai, and especially not you." He stared at the boy with hard eyes.

Goku twisted his chin out of Sanzo's grasp. "_I_ will not live with your death on _my_ conscience. I can't. And if that means I have to endanger myself, then I will." He stared back at Sanzo in defiance, every line in his face emphasizing that he meant what he said.

Sanzo growled at him, but Goku didn't back down. This was too important. He was still shocked at what had already happened, and his nerves were getting to him. He shot up from the bed in one fluid movement, surprising Sanzo so much that he took a step back. Goku's next action was fueled entirely by his heated anger and a strong desire to pummel his opinion into the monk.

He grabbed Sanzo by both shoulders and pulled him forward, bringing their faces together before Sanzo could react. Goku crushed their lips together in a kiss that was bruising in its intensity. He poured all of his frustration into the kiss, and felt Sanzo jerk slightly before responding with the same.  They battled for dominance, warring with each other over who was right. Neither gave any ground, and as their struggle continued, Goku felt as if he was being consumed on a holy pyre. He vaguely noticed that Sanzo's arms had curled around him, hands fisting in his t-shirt and pulling him even closer. His own hands had slid down and around Sanzo's shoulders to hold him tightly.

He was surprised when Sanzo pulled back first, not conceding defeat, but not able to continue the battle either. Sanzo pushed away from his grasp, half turning from him. "You have no idea how much it hurt me, watching Koumyou die while protecting me, " the man bit out. "You have no idea. I can _not _go through that again. I _will_ not. If you insist on being reckless, you can get the hell out of here. I will _not_ watch you die."

Goku felt his anger drain out of him at this explanation of Sanzo's fury. It hadn't occurred to him that Sanzo would fear seeing history repeat itself in him. He stepped forward, placing a cautious hand on the small of Sanzo's back. "I'm not going to die. I've lived for over 500 years, and I intend to live a lot longer. It will take more than what happened today to take me down. You don't have to worry about me, I can take care of myself."

"Who said I was worried about you?" Sanzo replied, but there was no bite to his insult. 

Goku could tell a blatant lie when he saw one. Why else would Sanzo be so angry with him if he hadn't been worried? Was this why Sanzo had reacted to him tonight? Because of this fear that he wouldn't admit to? No wonder he had been acting so un-Sanzo like. 

When Sanzo didn't pull away from the hand on his lower back, Goku ran it up his spine to his neck and began to rub lightly. He was surprised to find that Sanzo didn't shrug him off, and even seemed to relax a bit. Encouraged by this reaction, he moved slowly behind the man, trying to make sure he didn't startle him, treating him as he would a frightened rabbit. His other hand joined the first on Sanzo's neck, and he began to massage the tense muscles there. He worked his way down to the man's shoulders, digging his fingers into the knots that seemed to be permanent residents. Sanzo relaxed even more under his touch and he tentatively sent a slow flow of ki into his hands, using it to help soothe him. 

That was the wrong move however, for as soon as Sanzo noticed the green glow he jerked out of Goku's hands and whirled to face him. "Stop that, damn it! I will not be pacified like a child. You _will_ listen to me!" He advanced on Goku as he spoke, and this time Goku couldn't hold his ground. He backed up until he hit the wall. Sanzo continued to advance on him until they were inches apart, and he insured that Goku couldn't go anywhere by slamming a hand onto the wall on either side of his head. He leaned in, his harsh breathing hot on Goku's face. As much as Goku wanted to look away from the monk, he couldn't. He was trapped in those angry violet eyes. 

When he spoke, Sanzo's voice was quiet in its fury. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this, but I'm only going to say it once, so listen up. I. Don't. Want. You. To. Protect. Me. You mean too much to me to lose you like that. I don't know why the fuck it's true, but it is. Trying to figure it out would just be more annoying than you are. So stay out of the way. I need you there by my side, not a fucking dead body at my feet." 

Goku could only gape at him. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Had Sanzo just admitted, albeit in his own roundabout way, that he cared about him? That was just way to good to be true. Now he thought he understood why this felt so right. Sanzo actually cared about him! The thought made heat pool in the pit of his stomach. 

Wanting to show that he understood, he placed a hand on each of Sanzo's wrists and slowly drew them up the man's arms. He was amused to see the goose bumps that followed his fingers in their journey to Sanzo's shoulders. 'I do understand,' he thought, 'I know what you are trying to say, what you can't say. I feel it too.'

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Sanzo shivered at the light touch on his arms, never taking his eyes off the boy trapped in front of him. Though diminished, his anger was still there, but it only served to intensify his quickly growing desire for this infuriating young man. He longed to close the already small distance between them, but he was wary of where this would lead. Despite his instincts telling him to go for it, he was not one to be ruled by instinct, no matter that it had already controlled their interactions that night. 

The intensity of his reactions to Goku shook him, but Goku had always had the ability to break down his walls. And after the stupid stunt he had pulled this afternoon, Sanzo had been shocked to find that he couldn't face the idea of losing Goku in such a way. He had always assumed that Goku would eventually grow up and leave him, and that he could deal with, but to lose him to death after such a short time together was unthinkable. Though why he had actually told Goku as much he had no idea.  

Sanzo struggled with his thoughts while Goku continued to caress his arms. Damn it, why was this so hard? He should have no problem pushing Goku out the door and slamming it behind him, but found that he just couldn't. Finally convincing himself he could keep control over this situation, he removed his hands from the wall and pulled Goku to him. He still wasn't sure what he was doing, still didn't understand why he was allowing this to happen, but he couldn't focus on anything but the fear he had felt upon seeing Goku fall in front of him. That fear almost drove him to cling to the young man. Despite this desire to just hold him in his arms, he refused to allow himself to show that much weakness. He could show his passion, but tenderness involved breaking too many long held habits.

So when he pulled Goku against himself, it wasn't to envelop him in a hug, but instead to drive his mouth onto the young man's. Goku responded with equal passion, crushing their lips together. The contact brought a moan unbidden to Sanzo's lips, escaping into Goku's mouth before he could stop it. Goku moaned at the same time, and knowing he was feeling the same way excited Sanzo to no end. They couldn't share loving caresses or words of kindness, but this overwhelming desire was one thing they could share with a level of comfort. Sanzo knew that the time would eventually come when he would have to decide if he could willingly let Goku through all his emotional barriers, but right now this was enough for them both. 

Goku's t-shirt was easily removed, allowing Sanzo full access to the young man's muscular chest. He couldn't stop himself from running his hands down the smooth chest, feeling the muscles ripple under his light touch. Goku moaned again, and Sanzo pulled back slightly, wanting to see his face. His breath caught in his throat at the unguarded longing in Goku's eyes. He wondered for a moment if the same look could be found on his own face, and then he lost sight of the golden orbs as his leather top was pulled over his head by Goku's quick hands.

He heard Goku gasp quietly at the sight of him, and the young man leaned back to see him better. Sanzo blushed slightly at the close scrutiny. His blush deepened when Goku told him, with awe in his voice, "Shit Sanzo, you are so damn sexy." The simple statement sent shivers of flame racing through his body. He didn't know what he ultimately wanted from the boy, but he knew that right now he wanted this. The rest he would figure out when thinking wasn't so difficult. 

Sanzo's body responded ardently to Goku's hands on his naked chest, caressing him as they trailed down to fumble with his zipper. Goku's hands felt rough and calloused compared to the smooth skin under Sanzo's hands. He seemed to have no ability to control his own reactions, and a gasp snuck out as Goku finally managed the zipper. He lost himself then, in the questing touch, surrendering to a myriad of sensations he couldn't remember ever having experienced before.

He felt like every nerve in his body was at its most sensitive. It was all his overwhelmed brain could do to process the information from his nerves. He could feel Goku's smooth skin, heated with his desire. His own body was consumed by a low-centered fire. He could hear Goku's uneven breathing, could feel the rise and fall of his chest as his own fingers trailed their way down to tug at the young man's shorts, wanting them out of the way. His own quick breathing was deafening in his ears, and his heart thudded madly in his chest. He couldn't seem to get enough oxygen, and found himself gasping for breath. 

He was naked now, though he couldn't remember how exactly that had happened. He had had to participate, but everything was blurring, making it hard to focus on one feeling, one sight, one emotion, one event. He pulled Goku's shorts down in one quick movement and tossed them away. They had somehow ended up on the bed, and the feeling of skin on bare skin was intoxicating. Sanzo knew then that he had been wrong, that he couldn't control this at all. What was happening was bigger than him, bigger than them both, and even he didn't have the willpower to resist it. He finally let himself surrender completely, though he knew he would berate himself for it later. 

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Later, when it was over and they lay curled together on his bed, Sanzo, though exhausted, couldn't find escape in sleep. His mind screamed at him about what he had just done, what they had just done. He saw it all in a flash, as though he was a detached observer, the panting, the thrusting, the sound of Goku moaning his name, moaning Goku's name himself. He stilled on a single picture, himself suspended above Goku, their eyes locked together in the middle of their movements, speaking volumes to each other. What was done was done, and couldn't be undone. He tried not to feel uncomfortable with what had just happened, but couldn't help but wonder how this would change things between them. Was he ready for this? Was Goku? Why had he allowed himself to get so carried away? Would he, could he, allow it to happen again? 

Sanzo was torn between too many desires to sort them out easily, so he pushed all thought aside for later. Hesitant to enjoy Goku's closeness, he lay on his back feeling the young man's warmth, but not making any move to get closer. Oddly enough, he felt like he was missing a rare opportunity. The monk shut his eyes, but it was a long time before he slept. 

In the depths of sleep, Sanzo's body betrayed him for the last time that night, and he pulled Goku close. 

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A/N: 

Another chapter that I just loved writing. I really enjoy writing Sanzo / Goku interaction, they are such an interesting couple. 

I must extend my thanks and appreciation to stitcher2ficcer. She has been kind enough to read through and edit my story, and her comments and critiques have encouraged me and helped me to become a better writer. She can never know how wonderful she truly is. Thank you so much! 

Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers. 50 reviews for 3 chapters, that's incredible! I hope this chapter fit the bill for all the 39 fans out there.

Pervasive Threnody: I hope this chapter was even more drool worthy. I love this pairing too, they are just great together. I'm glad you think it's believable, I've been working really hard to keep them both in character as much as possible, especially Sanzo. He can be so difficult sometimes. 

Zek Majiri: I appreciate your faith in me. The next chapter will be Hakkai based (though not 58, sorry), so lets see what you think about how I write him then. 

Forsaken^On3: I love it when I can find a story that I can see playing out in my mind, it makes it that much more enjoyable. I'm happy you said that mine did that for you. I hope you enjoyed this one as well.

Yuki Kurai: I wasn't really going for funny, but I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway.

Nozomi Anshin: Glad you like it. Hope this update was soon enough for you.

Karisuma: Descriptions are my strong point most of the time, so I'm happy you like them.

Callie: I'm not sure if this chapter will bring you out of your catatonic state or put you in even deeper. Either way I hope you like it.

mabaroshi16: Thank you! I've enjoyed For the Smile of Tomorrow. I really like the last chapter! Hope you have enjoyed my story just as much.

R.A.Ducko: Finally got to know what started all this. Feel better now? 

Crimson1: I just love Don't Speak, so I'm glad you are enjoying my story as well. Thanks for the compliment on my writing, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be when I first started out.

Bakasaru Boi: I needed a pause to get them into the next room. You didn't expect all this to happen where Gojyo or Hakkai could see, did you? 

Am1-13th: Thanks for the *GLOMP*. I'm not really sure what you mean by an 'h' in this chapter, so I can't answer that.

Hikaru R. Kudou: I have enjoyed your 3x9fics as well, especially Predilection. I'm glad you like mine. 

Lirin: Thanks!


	5. Cause and Effect

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 5: Cause and Effect

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Goku woke up to sunlight streaming onto his face and a warm body holding him close. As his sleep addled mind cleared, he realized that it was the very warm, very _naked_ body of Sanzo that he was snuggled against. The realization quickly erased any traces of sleepiness. It surprised him to see that Sanzo was still asleep, and he warmed slightly when he remembered why the man was so worn out. Brief flashes of their night's actions whipped through his mind, unsettling him. He hadn't meant for it to go so far, but hadn't been able to stop the momentum. To be honest with himself, he hadn't wanted it to stop.  But now the whole situation made him uneasy. What had he been thinking? More accurately, why had he not been thinking?

He managed to wriggle out of Sanzo's hold without waking him up, but chose to lie there a few moments before getting out of bed. He lay next to Sanzo, tentatively running his hand through the golden hair that always made him think of the sun. The monk really didn't know how beautiful he was, especially with his face peacefully relaxed in sleep like it was now. In the bright daylight, their moonlit actions seemed more of a dream than reality. But Goku knew it had been no dream. No dream could have felt that good. He found himself blushing again, and forced his mind onto safer topics. He was glad Sanzo wasn't awake yet. He didn't think he could face him right now. He was too unsure how he felt about what they had done. And what about Sanzo? How would he feel about it? Goku was suddenly filled with a paralyzing fear. God, Sanzo was going to kill him! 

It was this fear that finally propelled him out of bed. Making as little noise as possible, he dressed quickly and paused at the door a moment to look at Sanzo. He knew that he probably wouldn't have this kind of opportunity again. Goku pushed down his disappointment at this thought as he slipped quietly out of the room.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Hakkai stretched as he awakened, feeling the mild morning ache of muscles overused the day before. He was surprised to see the morning was more advanced than he thought. He had expected a moody Sanzo banging on his door at daybreak, wanting to get on the road as soon as possible. Not that it was _that_ late – it couldn't be later than 6 in the morning – but they had been out the door around 4 every morning in the last week, taking advantage of every possible minute of day lit traveling time. 

Hearing nothing from the room they shared, he surmised that the others were still asleep. Gojyo and Goku he could understand, but Sanzo? Sanzo wasn't a morning person, but he never overslept. Could he be sick? He had seemed fine the night before. Recalling the previous night, Hakkai wondered if the reason for the monk's lateness stemmed from the boy. He pushed that thought to the back of his head, not wanting to leap to conclusions. He hesitated at disturbing Sanzo though, for if something had happened, he didn't want to interrupt them as he had during their kiss. 

Hakkai dressed and decided to cook breakfast, figuring that the smell of food would soon have his companions awake. He packed his stuff quickly, knowing that Sanzo wouldn't want to wait after breakfast. Hakkai exited his room into an empty common room, confirming his thoughts that he was the first one up. He laid out the breakfast supplies on the counter and had just started cooking when a very rumpled but dressed Gojyo wandered out of his room. The redhead waved a sleepy greeting on the way to the washroom, and emerged a few minutes later looking more like himself and much more awake. 

Gojyo took a seat in the nearly empty room and glanced at Hakkai. "Sanzo's not up yet?" 

"No," Hakkai replied, "And neither is Goku."

Gojyo nodded at the answer, but paused a moment, seeming to think about what had just been implied. He shot a sharp glance at Hakkai. "What do you mean by…"

Before he finished the question, the door to Sanzo's room opened and it was answered for him. Goku emerged from the room, shutting the door quietly. As he sat down at the table across from Gojyo, still wearing what he normally slept in, Hakkai noticed that he seemed to be preoccupied. Hakkai wondered if he had the same surprised look that Gojyo did. The redhead was sitting with his mouth open, wide crimson eyes staring at Goku with disbelief. _'There could be another reason for this,'_ Hakkai reminded himself, _'they could have switched rooms before they went to bed.'_

This theory was disproved less than a minute later when Sanzo emerged from the same room and paused before walking across the common room. His face was set in his normal morning expression, sweeping the group with a belligerent glare. Hakkai couldn't help but notice that Goku refused to meet his eyes, staring down at the table. Sanzo hadn't dressed for their journey either, wearing nothing but his leather top and jeans. And he was barefoot. It wasn't that big of a surprise for Goku to come out looking sleep-rumpled, as he preferred to feed his stomach before packing up his stuff, but Sanzo rarely appeared before them – at least when he was unhurt – looking anything less than perfectly put together. This morning he was just as rumpled as Goku. Even his golden hair seemed mussed, and as Hakkai watched, Sanzo ran his hands through it, getting it back into some semblance of order. 

Astonished, Hakkai glanced at Gojyo. He was still sitting with his mouth gaping even wider than before in surprise. Hakkai turned back to their breakfast to hide his laughter at the totally befuddled hanyou. 

"If you don't want to eat a bullet," Sanzo growled as he passed, "I suggest you close that mouth of yours."

Gojyo shut his mouth with an audible gulp. "Good morning to you too."

Sanzo shot him a deadly glare and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Into the sudden silence, Goku spoke anxiously for the first time. "Hakkai, that smells great! Is it almost done? Do you need any help?"

Hakkai glanced back in surprise; it wasn't often that the others offered to help cook. "Yes, it's almost done. If you like, you can get us something to drink, and then grab some plates."

Hopping up from his chair like the saru the others called him, Goku grabbed four glasses and filled them with water. He placed them on the table and ran to get the plates, placing them on the stove next to Hakkai. He waited patiently for Hakkai to fill them, then carried two over to the table as Hakkai followed him with the last two. Sanzo came out of the bathroom as they sat down, and shot an angry "Hurry the hell up, it's time to go" over his shoulder as he disappeared into his room again. He came back out a few minutes later dressed in his robes, and sat down to breakfast without another word. 

They ate breakfast quietly, with a minimum of fighting between Goku and Gojyo. Sanzo ignored them all, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Hakkai speculated on what had happened between the monk and the monkey. Where last night they couldn't seem to take their eyes off each other, this morning things seemed strained between them. They were very pointedly _not_ looking at each other. Their discomfort showed plainly when Goku brushed Sanzo's hand as he reached across the table to hit Gojyo. Sanzo had been reaching out for his glass, but at the sudden contact they both started badly and jerked away. Hakkai narrowed his eyes in suspicion, catching Sanzo's eyes and receiving a 'what-the-hell-do-you-want' glare in return. He stared back at Sanzo until the monk turned away. 

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Sanzo had awoken to the sound of the door closing, relieved to be alone. He lay there on the bed, wondering as he had the night before, whether either one of them was ready for the changes their actions might cause. He was acutely aware of the silence both in his room and beyond, and wondered for a moment if Hakkai and Gojyo were up yet. He knew that he needed to get up and hurry the others so they could get started, but found his desire to be alone outweighed his sense of responsibility. Letting his mind wander for a moment, he found himself thinking about the look of longing he had seen in Goku's eyes. Was this really what Goku wanted? He shook his head, pushing the image out of his mind. As he brought his attention back to the room, he found himself haunted by the smells and sounds of the night's activities. He couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. He quickly got out of bed and walked to the door, hoping that removing himself from the room would stop the disturbing playback. 

He stepped into the common room and saw that he was the last one to get up. That probably meant that Hakkai and Gojyo had seen Goku come out of his room. Damn, now not only would he have to deal with the saru and himself, he would have to convince the other two to mind their own business. Sanzo walked towards the bathroom, reaching for his gun. Threatening the kappa probably wouldn't help, but it would make him feel better. When he returned to his room to dress, feeling more in control, nothing haunted him. He packed his stuff quickly and headed back out for breakfast. 

Now Sanzo sat at the table, picking at his food. He tried not to notice how Goku stiffened when their hands brushed, how he had stiffened as well, but he was too acutely aware of the young man. It was annoying, and not like him at all to care what the saru did. His frustration mounted through breakfast, his companions' bickering doing nothing to ease his tension. It didn't help that Hakkai was giving him suspicious looks, no doubt wondering what was going on. By the end of breakfast he couldn't wait to get out of there. 

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

As soon as breakfast was over, Goku jumped up to clear the table and help Hakkai wash up. He made a wide berth around Sanzo as he picked up the dishes, making sure he didn't come into contact with the man. Goku said nothing while he worked, and Hakkai didn't try to draw him out, preferring to let the boy volunteer information when he was ready. Sanzo paced the room as he smoked, wanting to be on the road, occasionally muttering a quiet curse at the delay. 

Gojyo lit up at the table, raising his hands in surrender at the glare Sanzo shot him. 

"Don't look at me, I'm packed and ready to go." 

For a while the room was filled with nothing but traces of smoke and the sound of dishes being washed and dried. Hakkai brought out the map as soon as he had dried his hands, and he and Sanzo conferred over the best route to the next town. Unfortunately it was more than a days drive away, so they would be sleeping in the forest that night. Goku emerged from his room with his bag as they were folding the map, having shot through his door as soon as the dishes were done. They grabbed their stuff and headed out the door, an impatient Sanzo on their heels. 

Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku jumped into the jeep and settled themselves into their normal positions, delayed a moment while Sanzo paid for everything. As the monk exited the inn, Hakkai noticed that his face acquired his most fearsome glare. The brunette sighed to himself; It was going to be a long day if Sanzo was already that irritated. He wondered about the reason for the irritation. Setting aside the question, he focused on driving as smoothly as possible. No need to focus Sanzo's ire on himself if it could be avoided. 

The morning drive was uneventful, though Goku seemed less inclined than usual to argue with Gojyo. He responded only when Gojyo started taunting him about being a stupid monkey. Goku's anger was swift and hot, startling them to the point that Gojyo backed down without another word. Sanzo hadn't even had the chance to reach for his fan. Goku settled into his seat with his back to the group, and kept to himself for the rest of the morning. They drove along in silence until Gojyo declared he couldn't take another moment without a beer, so they stopped for lunch. Normally they would sit together in the jeep and talk while they ate, but today Goku took his lunch and went to sit behind a tree, out of sight of the rest of them. Hakkai watched as Sanzo's eyes followed his retreating back, an uncomfortable look on his face. As if he felt Hakkai's eyes on him, Sanzo turned quickly, and Hakkai quirked an eyebrow at him. Sanzo met his look with a challenging glare, and Hakkai turned back to his lunch. 

As they finished eating, Hakkai called out to Goku, but there was no answer. Assuming he hadn't heard him, Hakkai walked towards the tree. As he got closer, he thought he could hear muttering, and when he caught sight of Goku, he realized the boy was talking to himself. 

"Damn it, this sucks. I wish he'd hit me or something, at least then I'd know how he felt. How can it have felt so right yesterday when it feels so weird today?"

"Goku?" Hakkai called quietly, not wanting to startle the young man. 

"Oh, Hakkai, I didn't hear you. Is it time to go?" 

"Yes. Are you alright?" Hakkai asked tentatively.

Goku flashed him a smile that reminded Hakkai of himself. "Yeah, of course. Let's go." Without another word he leapt up and raced towards the jeep.

They hadn't gone far before screeching to a halt in front of a small group of youkai. _'I don't think any of us are in the mood for a fight,'_ Hakkai thought as he got out of the jeep. Even Goku didn't have the normal anticipation on his face at the prospect of a battle. Dispatching the youkai didn't take long, but one unusual event occurred that confirmed Hakkai's sense that something was wrong. 

Gojyo swung his weapon, the blade screaming out and cutting down one of the last two youkai in front of him as Sanzo shot the other. They were glancing around the clearing to make sure they had killed them all when a screaming youkai jumped out of the tree line, knocking Sanzo down. Goku was there before Sanzo even hit the ground, knocking the demon away and obliterating it. Entirely on instinct, he turned to Sanzo, extending a hand to help the man up. Sanzo started to take it, then stopped, staring at him. When their eyes met, Goku dropped his hand and quickly backed away, trembling slightly. He nearly ran into Gojyo, who gave him an odd look and stepped around him to pull Sanzo to his feet. When Hakkai got to them a few seconds later, Goku had already recovered himself, and acted like nothing had happened. 

They drove for the rest of the afternoon, Goku and Gojyo napping in the back seat after their exertions, until Sanzo tapped Hakkai on the shoulder. 

"It's getting dark."

"It looks like a clearing up ahead. Let's stop there," Gojyo piped up.

The clearing was large enough for their setup, so they stopped and Gojyo and Goku set up their tents while Hakkai cooked. Dinner was as quiet as both the previous meals had been. Goku didn't leave the group this time – he knew better than to wander away after dark – but he did distance himself from them, making sure to put either Hakkai or Gojyo between himself and Sanzo. Hakkai tried to get them all together for a game of something afterwards, but Goku said he was tired and went to his tent to lie down. Sanzo shot him a glare and snarled, "Don't bother me," as he headed over to lean against the jeep and smoke. Gojyo was willing to play cards, but it didn't take many hands to realize that neither of them had that much interest in the game. They called it a night and Hakkai went over to Sanzo to ask him when he wanted to take watch. 

Sanzo glared at him as he approached, but Hakkai took it in stride. "Sanzo, do you want first watch, or do you want me to take it?"

"I'll take it. I'm not tired anyway." The lines on the monks face belied his comment.

"You look tired. Are you okay?" Hakkai hesitated as he said it, but thought he would give Sanzo an opportunity to talk if something was bothering him.

"I'm fine." The answer was swift and short.

"Are you sure? You and Goku seem… out of sorts today."

"I fucking said I'm fine. Go to bed." 

Sanzo turned away from him then, and Hakkai shrugged. Sanzo would tell him in time if he felt like it. He headed towards the tent Goku had retired to earlier and went to sleep. 

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Hakkai woke to his shoulder being shaken roughly. "Let's get a move on," a voice growled in his ear. He blinked his eyes open and crawled out of the tent, surprised to see that the sun was just beginning to rise. Why hadn't Sanzo woken him for his watch?

Gojyo was already taking down the other tent, and when Hakkai glanced at him he commented, "Damn monk stayed up the whole night. Didn't wake anyone else to watch."

Hakkai looked at Sanzo in surprise, but the monk just ignored him. "Damn it, let's go!"

Hakkai crawled back into the tent and shook Goku gently. The young man woke quickly, disappointment flickering across his face as he realized who had woken him. He greeted Hakkai with a small smile, then packed up his stuff without another word. Hakkai did the same, and together they collapsed the tent and stuffed it into the jeep. Sanzo looked so cross this morning that no one wanted to mention breakfast, so they started out with nothing more than a handful of snacks they had left over from the day before. Goku said nothing about this inadequate breakfast, but Gojyo started to until he was silenced by the barrel of a gun pressed against his temple. Sanzo didn't even say anything, just glared, and Gojyo wisely shut his mouth. 

The journey started out as usual, Sanzo sitting in the passenger seat smoking quietly, Goku and Gojyo in the back. Gojyo gave up trying to pick on the young man after being ignored multiple times, so they made their journey in silence. It was a pleasant enough drive, the road being well maintained and the forest surrounding them stately and beautiful. The silence was so thorough that Hakkai found himself humming quietly to keep from falling asleep at the wheel. He was surprised at the peace that descended on him despite the emotional unrest of two of his companions. 

Glancing in the rearview mirror, he caught Gojyo's eyes on him. The kappa inclined his head slightly towards Goku and then Sanzo, a questioning look on his face. Hakkai knew that he was bothered by their behavior over the last day, but this was no time for explanations – not that he had any to offer – so he shook his head. Gojyo frowned slightly, but turned away and lit another cigarette. When Hakkai next looked up, he saw that Goku had fallen into a restless sleep and Gojyo was watching him out of the corner of his eye, still frowning. Hakkai glanced at Sanzo and noticed that while the monk was pretending to nap, narrowed violet eyes were studying Goku in the side mirror. There was none of the normal irritation on his face, just a faint puzzlement. So, the unshakeable monk wasn't quite as unshakeable as he wanted to be. That spoke volumes as to how deeply he had been affected by their interactions. 

Hakkai continued humming to himself as he drove, just a small piece of melody he had heard a few days ago in an inn. He liked it, and could imagine the corresponding harmonies singing along with him. Four instruments, brought together in music. It reminded him of the four of them, brought together by fate and the three Aspects, brought together by their mission, brought together in friendship. He felt comforted by the thought. Whatever was going on between Goku and Sanzo, it wouldn't tear them all apart. Any instrument could play alone for a while, but the true beauty was captured when they were together. 

They drove without stopping until Hakkai decided it was time for lunch. The growling of Goku's stomach reminded him it was around noon, but again the saru hadn't said anything. Lunch was a brief hurried affair, none of them wanting to linger despite their beautiful surroundings. They were all eager to get to the next town. Goku stayed with them this time, knowing that Sanzo would want to get moving again quickly, but he said nothing, drawing into himself even more than when Gojyo had tried to tease him. Sanzo was quiet and sullen, glaring at any who dared say a word to him. 

Hakkai was glad when they got moving again, eager to get to the next town. The atmosphere in the jeep was now slightly uncomfortable, as Gojyo's continued confusion and frustration added to the emotional mix. Hakkai tried not to let it bother him, tried his hardest to ignore his companions. He almost wished for another battle to break the tension. His wish was not granted, and they finally pulled into the town in the early evening without having been beset by youkai. 

The town was a small one with just one inn, and only two double rooms were available. Hakkai was anxious about their room arrangements, but found it was solved with a minimum of difficulty when Goku and Sanzo each grabbed a key and headed into different rooms. He and Gojyo exchanged glances, then agreed to meet for dinner in an hour. He headed into Sanzo's room as Gojyo headed into Goku's. 

When Hakkai entered the small room, he found Sanzo sitting on the bed nearest to the window, a cigarette already lit. The man didn't look up at his entrance, but Hakkai hadn't expected him to. Sanzo knew them all well enough to know who would room with him after the monkey had taken the other key. Hakkai didn't say anything as he lay down on the empty bed and closed his eyes. He could use a nap after the last two days, despite the fact that he hadn't had to take a watch the previous night.

Hakkai had just started to drift off to sleep when Sanzo spoke for the first time since lunch. "Hakkai." 

Hakkai opened his eyes and propped himself up on his elbows to look at Sanzo. "Yes?"

"I know you're curious. Don't involve yourself in things that don't concern you." There was a hint of warning in his voice, just enough to let Hakkai know he was serious. 

Hakkai just looked at him. Did he really think they could continue to travel the way they had the last two days? Did he not care about how Goku felt? "What about Goku?"

Sanzo started just a bit, but hid it well. "It's nothing, just a minor… interruption. I said don't concern yourself with it."

Hakkai didn't believe that it was minor at all. He had seen Sanzo jump at Goku's name, had heard the slight pause in his words. There was much more to this than "minor interruption". He eased himself back onto the bed, not replying to Sanzo because he wasn't about to let this alone. He would be patient now, but this evening he didn't intend to let the stubborn monk go until he got some answers.

"Ch'" was all that Sanzo said to his silence.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Hakkai eased the door closed, seeing that Gojyo was already standing in the hallway. When he saw Hakkai was alone he commented, "The monk not coming down?" At Hakkai's negative gesture he continued, "Goku doesn't want to come either. Says he's not hungry, but I think he just wants to avoid Sanzo. I'll bring some food up to him later." They walked down the hallway to the stairs and headed down to the dining room. 

After ordering dinner, Hakkai looked at Gojyo. "What are we going to do about these two? Are we expected to have all our meals separately from now on?"

Gojyo agreed with a frown. "I don't know what happened, but they sure have been acting weird. I've never seen Goku so quiet, and it's really getting on my nerves. They need to get over this, whatever _this_ is"

"I don't know if it's going to be that easy. Whatever happened was enough to shake both of them badly. Sanzo actually jumped slightly when I said Goku's name earlier. If I didn't know better, I'd almost say they're afraid of each other."

Gojyo nodded. "That pretty much sums it up. I just don't get it. How in the hell did this all start?"

Hakkai realized suddenly that Gojyo hadn't been there for the kiss he had unwillingly witnessed. "Remember how Sanzo reacted to Goku getting hurt protecting him? I'd be willing to bet that made him recall Koumyou's death all too vividly for it not to affect him. When we were at the inn the other night and you were getting food, well… let's just say that I became an unwilling observer of exactly how much it affected him. It was just a simple kiss, but with the way they are reacting to each other now, it may have gone further after we went to bed. And it doesn't seem like either one is comfortable with it."

Gojyo's eyes widened as Hakkai talked. "They kissed? The monk kissed the monkey? In front of you? That's fucked up." He shook his head in disbelief. "I never would have thought that Sanzo would let something like that happen. And possibly even more? That's definitely fucked up."

Hakkai smiled slightly. "That may be true, but in the meantime, we have to deal with the aftermath of their actions. Poor Goku. He has just gotten more and more miserable since we left the inn."

Gojyo replied hesitantly. "I think you might want to save your 'poor Goku's'. You didn't see him in the room just now. He isn't pining away like a rejected lover. He's just as uncomfortable with this whole thing as Sanzo seems to be. I think he's beginning to feel like he's in over his head. It's one thing to love Sanzo quietly to himself, it's another thing entirely to have it exposed and acted on."

For some reason, that cheered Hakkai up. "You know, that may be a good thing."

Gojyo looked at him oddly and quirked an eyebrow upward. "How is any of this a good thing?"

"Well, we both know that if Goku went to Sanzo spouting words of love, he would get kicked out the door before he could get a word in edgewise. But having had this confrontation already, maybe they'll give their feelings a chance, now that the worst is over. We know Goku loves Sanzo, and I really believe that Sanzo returns those feelings, even if he doesn't realize it. You didn't see his eyes that night. I had trouble believing it was Sanzo."

"Aren't you the hopeless romantic? You sound like you want them to end up all lovey dovey. Come on, do you really think Mr. I-don't-need-anyone-to-protect-me is going to open his heart to our little monkey boy up there?" Gojyo looked skeptical.

"You never know. After all, why couldn't they find happiness together? Stranger things have happened. I like the idea of them together. Call it what you want, but I just have this feeling that they're meant for each other." Hakkai smiled wistfully. 

Gojyo snorted with disbelief. "Yeah, sure. You know, it's very possible we're talking out of our asses here, and those two are just nursing massive stomachaches or something. We really don't know anything."

"You could be right, but I don't think so. _Something_ happened, I'm sure of that. I guess we'll just have to be patient and see what happens." Despite his words, Hakkai couldn't help but want to give the two a little push in the right direction. 

Their food arrived then, and they switched to talking about other things. It was pleasant to sit and chat, just the two of them, like they had in the days before this journey started. Hakkai realized that he had missed the time they used to spend together. All too soon they finished, then they ordered some food to take up to their missing friends. Gojyo smoked as they sat in companionable silence, both thinking about those same friends and the predicament they were in. He stubbed out his cigarette when the food arrived and stood, waiting while Hakkai paid with the Gold card. 

They walked up the stairs together, but Gojyo paused before opening Goku's door. "You know, I think a little talk with the monkey boy is way overdue." He grinned. "Besides, he has put me through enough silence in the last two days to last me a week. It's about time for me to torture him right back." 

Hakkai smiled. "Be nice. You know this is hard on him. Oh, and if you hear gunshots, it's probably Sanzo expressing his displeasure at being pressed for information. Just ignore it."

Gojyo grinned again and nodded. "Sounds like we may be about to get the shit kicked out of us. Couldn't ask for anything better to do on a quiet evening." With that he kicked Goku's door open and sidled through it, pushing it shut behind him. 

Hakkai just shook his head in amusement, then turned to Sanzo's door. Taking a deep breath to quell his rising anxiety at the forthcoming confrontation, he opened the door and stepped in.__

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

A/N: A couple of my readers have commented on how serious I have made Gojyo in this story. I feel that while his fun-loving playboy attitude is part of what makes him who he is, he is actually much more than that. Especially with Hakkai (5x8 fans can take that as they want). They lived together for a couple of years before they all started west, so I like to think that they would have formed an easy camaraderie. And Gojyo is concerned about his friends, especially Goku, whom he thinks of as a little brother. All these things combined allow him to show his serious side, as he does quite a bit here. Don't worry, we are going to see him in the next chapter with Goku, and he will be much more his fun-loving, big-brotherly self. 

Thanks to stitcher2ficcer for all your help with this.

Thanks to my wonderful reviewers:

dream-eater-is-hungry: Sanzo is just so drool-worthy, isn't he? I try to update once a week, that way I have a week to write the next chapter.

Iapetus: I was happy to see you updated 'Kindred Spirits' last night, and you are promising another chapter of 'Somewhere I Belong' tonight. Both are wonderful stories, and I'm looking forward to seeing them continue. I'm glad you are liking my story. I love the Sanzo x Goku relationship. There is so much delicious tension between them, it's fun to write!

Bakasaru Boi: Thanks! 

Pervasive Threnody: I'm glad you liked the yaoi. I agree with you, sometimes it's better to let the imagination fill in the pieces. I think it's actually more intense that way. 

R.A.Ducko: I'm glad you feel better. J

Yuki Kurai: I've enjoyed 'Thank You For Being There' and 'A Few Lifetimes With You.' I'm glad you are enjoying my story. 

Catchfire: I'm happy you are liking my story. Hope this chapter got to you before you fell off.

Hikaru R. Kudou: Yeah, Sanzo is awfully stubborn. As you saw in this chapter, he only gets worse. 

mabaroshi16: I'm glad I made your night! I like the ending too. I didn't think he could do it on purpose, but if he's asleep, there's no telling what his body would do, right?

Crimson1: Loved the newest chapter of 'Don't Speak'. I'm glad you think I'm getting things right.

Me-Nuriko: I'm glad that stitcher2ficcer pointed you here and that you are happier with it. Thank you for the thoughtful compliment. I hope the readers continue to be happy with my story. 

Zek Majiri: Yeah, sometimes I wonder why I read wips as well. Isn't the anticipation just delicious though?

Callie: *giggles* I'm happy you like it. Yeah, Goku-loving is always good.

Am1-13th: Okay, I hadn't heard that one before. Hope you enjoyed the 'h' then, and there will be more in the future.

Forsaken^On3: Thanks for the compliment. I try.

Stephanie: Thanks. Sanzo can be difficult at times, but he's just great when you can pin down his character.


	6. Cards and Fruit Bowls

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 6: Cards and Fruit Bowls

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Goku was too restless to sit still, pacing from one end of the small room to the other. He had told Gojyo he wasn't hungry, but in reality he couldn't face another meal in strained silence. His stomach growled at him to prove the stupidity of his actions. Wasn't there anything about himself that he could control anymore? He sighed, too weary to sustain any sort of anger. He was being so stupid, so childish. He was just so confused.

That night, everything had felt right. He didn't regret that it had happened. In fact, he looked back on their actions with an intense longing for more. He had felt _alive_ in Sanzo's arms. But ever since, he couldn't be in the same room as the monk without wanting to bolt. How could he want to grab Sanzo and kiss him, but also want to run away from him? Their journey the last two days had been agonizing. He had tried to sleep as much as possible while they traveled, if only to stop himself from jumping out of the jeep when the tension got to him. 

Something moved behind him, and Goku whirled around. Tiny fragments of paper floated in the air, settling on the floor only to be stirred up by his passing. At some point he had walked by the small table in the room and removed a document from it, tearing the poor sheet into scraps in his anxiety. Looking away from the carnage, he peered closely at the scrap in his hand and was horrified to find that he had shredded the front page of today's paper. Gojyo must have borrowed it from Sanzo. Goku hoped they had both already read it; he didn't need to give the blond another reason to be angry. 

Thinking about Sanzo made his stomach twist uncomfortably, and he flopped back onto the bed with a sigh. What he wouldn't give for a plate of meatbuns to take his mind off things. Not even his ravenous appetite could make him brave a foray into the kitchen though. He didn't want to chance seeing Sanzo sitting comfortably talking with Gojyo and Hakkai. Not that he really thought Sanzo was out enjoying dinner. With the mood he was in, the monk was probably smoking in his room, glaring out the window. Thank god it wasn't raining, or they might all be dead. 

Goku pacified his empty stomach by promising it food after Gojyo came back. He would check with the half-breed to make sure that Sanzo wasn't downstairs, then make a quick visit. He wasn't sure if he was planning to go down for breakfast in the morning, but if this morning was any indication, they would be eating on the road again. He wasn't planning on complaining. He preferred to avoid anything that drew Sanzo's ire. So maybe he should stock up a little. Happy with his plan, he flipped over onto his stomach and rested his head on his hands. The sunset drew his eye, painting the sky in oranges and yellows. It was beautiful, and he felt a gentle peace come over him for the first time in days. He watched as the sun slowly sank into the western horizon, changing the colors of everything it touched. With an amused smile, he held his hand out towards the window and gazed at it, his skin changing from its normal tan to a dark golden bronze, fading as darkness overtook the room. Only then did he look again towards the vanished sun, and stared in awe at the shimmering violet that blanketed the sky. It was the same color as Sanzo's eyes. He felt it again, this gnawing hunger that had nothing to do with food. 

Rather than pushing it away as he had before, he examined the feeling. He knew that he wanted Sanzo, though it disturbed him how much it was true. He had dreamed of him last night, a hot and sensual dream. Goku closed his eyes, letting the memory fill him. Black-clad arms reached out to him in the dark, heat warming his bare skin. Soft lips caressed his neck, his shoulder, his chest. Violet eyes glinted, drowning him in their depths. Soft moaning filled his ears… Sanzo's? or his own? Their sweat perfumed the air with a heady musk. Their tongues tasted each other, touching tentatively, then growing bolder. He existed only as an extension of his senses. 

Goku had awoken from the dream drenched in sweat and trembling. The air was stifling inside the small tent, and he felt as if he couldn't breathe. Hakkai was asleep on the bedroll next to him, so Goku took great care not to bother him as he crawled out of the tent. He stood up as soon as he could and stayed still for a moment, enjoying the cool night breeze. In his haste to get to fresh air, he hadn't considered who might be on watch. A small sound caught his attention and he turned, warily searching the dark for the intruder. He relaxed when he saw a familiar figure sitting beside the jeep, but tensed again when he realized who it was.

"What are you doing up?" Sanzo asked quietly, no trace of emotion in his voice.

Goku took a step forward before he could stop himself, wanting to see the other better. "Sanzo. I had… a dream."

The monk said nothing, just looked at him. 

Goku shifted uncomfortably and looked away. "I won't be able to sleep for awhile. Want me to take over?"

"No, I'm fine. Go back to bed."

Goku turned his head at Sanzo's words, drawn by the sound of his voice. He stepped closer and reached out to him. Sanzo didn't move, but something flashed through his eyes that made Goku pause. 

"Don't." The word was almost whispered.

Still caught in the fevered images of his dream, Goku ignored him and took another step. He brushed his hand against Sanzo's jaw, lightly caressing it. The monk jerked his head away, but the look on his face wasn't anger.

"Don't. I can't…" There was pleading in that normally self-assured voice.

Goku stared at him. "Why?"

Sanzo didn't answer, just fixed his gaze out into the darkness.

Goku turned and headed back into the tent without a sound. 

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Thinking about it now, he again felt the hurt that had coursed through him. Sanzo had turned away from him, pulled away from his touch. The weird thing was that he hadn't turned away in anger, hadn't resorted to the fan or his gun to emphasize his point. What did it mean? Goku would rather have encountered anger; at least then he would know how Sanzo felt about it all. But no, instead all he had seen was uncertainty and confusion. They were strange things to see in the normally so confidant monk. It made him uncomfortable. 

The whole situation made him uncomfortable. He tried to sort out his feelings and figure out why. He wanted Sanzo, he knew that. He loved Sanzo, he knew that too. That was a given, he had loved the monk for as long as he could remember. So why, when he should be rejoicing at what had happened, was he so shaken by it? Part of it was that it had happened so fast. They had gone from first kiss to sex in one whirlwind evening, in just a few hours. It was all too much to take in at once. Sanzo had admitted that he cared about him, right? That was more than Goku thought he would ever get, and he smiled to himself at the thought that Sanzo did really care. Not love, perhaps, but it was something. 

He was interrupted in his self-discussion by the door being kicked open. Gojyo sauntered into the room and dropped a tray on the table, pushing the door shut behind him.

"Oi, monkey boy. Thought you might be hungry, so I brought you something."

Goku bounded over to the table. "Wow, it smells great! Thanks kappa, I owe you one."

The redhead waved the thanks away. "It's no big deal. Not like we weren't down there already. Besides, I didn't want to listen to your stomach complain all night."

Goku scowled, then turned his face away as he searched for words that wouldn't betray him. "Did you have a good dinner? I mean, you, Hakkai, and… Sanzo."

He earned a sharp glance for that, but Gojyo only replied, "Yeah, Hakkai and I did. Sanzo didn't come down." 

Goku wasn't sure if he was relieved or not to hear it. He pulled the cover off his dinner and began wolfing it down.

"Slow down, there's plenty more. And the kitchen is open all night if you're still hungry. At least they are when people carrying a gold card come into town," Gojyo smirked. "Guess there are a few benefits to traveling with the monk, eh?"

Goku jerked his head up in suspicion, but the half-breed had turned away from him, rummaging in his bag for something. As he did, he glanced down, then back up at Goku. "What the hell is all over the floor? A ticker-tape parade pass through while I was gone?"

Goku blushed. "No, I just… I accidentally tore up your paper. Sorry." 

"My paper? Oh, you mean the newspaper? That's what's all over the floor? What…Never mind, I don't want to know. You're lucky Sanzo's already read it." Gojyo seemed to be watching him closely, so Goku turned back to his meal.

The next few minutes passed in relative silence as he finished his dinner and Gojyo smoked, shuffling the deck of cards he had retrieved from his stuff. He shoved the empty dishes back onto the tray, placing it outside the door for the housekeeper. When he turned back to the table, he saw that cards had been dealt to his empty seat and Gojyo was looking at him expectantly.

"Poker?"

He nodded his assent and sat down again.

"Five card draw, no wild cards. And since we're both broke, we'll play for…" Gojyo glanced around the room, eyes finally landing on the messy floor, "paper scraps, I guess."

Goku won the first hand easily, which surprised him, as Gojyo normally beat everyone except Hakkai at cards. After losing the second and third hand, he was beginning to think the first had been a fluke. He won the fourth and fifth, though, and his small pile of paper was almost the same size as Gojyo's. He was about to point it out when the redhead leaned over the table to grab a beer and brushed both piles to the floor. 

"Damn, that sucks," Gojyo commented, although he didn't seem very upset about it.

"Ero kappa, you did that on purpose!"

"Hey now," Gojyo put his hands up in surrender, "we'll just have to play for something else." 

Something in the way he said it made the hair on the back of Goku's neck stand up. "What?" he warily replied.

"I don't know. How about… how about we play for information?"

Now he was definitely suspicious. "What do you mean?"

"You win, you get to ask me any question and I have to answer it. I win, and you have to answer mine."

Goku stared at him for a moment, eyes narrowed, but couldn't think of a good reason to protest. Or something else to play for, for that matter. And it was still too early to go to bed. "That's stupid."

"You have a better idea?"

He shook his head reluctantly.

"Then let's play." Gojyo grinned and dealt the cards. 

Goku won the first hand again, but couldn't think of anything good to ask. "Umm… What's your favorite color?"

Gojyo snorted at the simple question. "Definitely not red. Blue I guess, I've never really thought about it. Or green, I like green too."

The second hand was won by Gojyo, but he only asked the same question. Goku blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. "Gold, gold is my favorite."

He blushed when he realized what he had said, but Gojyo didn't say anything, just shot him a look.

The next five or six hands went the same way, both of them winning a few and losing a few, and the questions asked were simple and innocent. Goku began to relax, wondering why he been suspicious of the idea in the first place. It was kind of fun, finding out what animals they liked, what their favorite food was – he'd had a lot of problems answering that one – and trivial stuff like that. It wasn't until he noticed that Gojyo had won the last six hands in a row, and the last two questions had become more personal, that he started to think he had been set up. As soon as Gojyo opened his mouth after winning another hand, he knew he'd been had. 

"What happened between you and the monk two nights ago that's made you so jumpy around him?"

Goku panicked. He'd agreed to play, so was obligated to answer the question. It wasn't in his nature to lie, but of course, Gojyo knew that, that's why he'd done this in the first place.

"This is stupid. I don't want to play anymore." He desperately tried to dodge the question. 

"Uh uh, you aren't getting out of it that easily. You lost, now answer."

Goku looked down at the table. "Well, we kissed…" He couldn't go on.

"I already knew that. What happened later?"

He looked at Gojyo in surprise. "How did you know?"

"Hakkai mentioned it. Stop avoiding the question."

He was too anxious to be upset with Hakkai. "We..we.." He couldn't take Gojyo's scrutiny anymore. He shoved his chair back and walked to the window. He could see his reflection in the glass, and he peered at it as if it was someone else. Frightened golden eyes in a too young face, wild chocolate hair only partially hiding the golden limiter that kept his bloodlust at bay. He thought with disgust that it was a child he saw, that they all saw. He wasn't a child, though he felt like one now, helpless and weak. The reflection showed him that Gojyo was watching him, a cigarette dangling from his hand. 

The half-breed spoke up quietly. "You know Goku, you don't have to be afraid to tell me. I know we don't always get along, but you're still like a little brother to me. I'm not going to make fun of you over this."

Goku could hear the sincerity in the other man's words, and it touched his heart, calming him. Gojyo could be a real pain in the ass sometimes, but he could always be counted on when the chips were down. Encouraged, Goku started out softly, his voice building as he gathered his strength. "I got up to get a drink. He was there in the window, shining in the moonlight, and then… he kissed me. And I kissed him back. We went into his room, and we argued. He was angry that I had gotten hurt to protect him. I was angry that… well, that he was angry, I guess. He told me that he needed me alive, not dead at his feet. Then he kissed me again, and one thing led to another, and… well… you know."

"You had sex."

Quietly. "Yeah."

"Sanzo really told you he needed you?"

"He said I meant too much to him to lose by throwing my life away like that."

Gojyo mumbled something that sounded like "Hakkai was right," but when Goku turned to ask him about it, he just waved it off. "Nothing, just talking to myself. So, this is why you two have been avoiding each other?"

"Yeah. I know it's stupid, but I don't know how he feels."

"Forget how he feels. How do _you_ feel about it?"

Goku paused, gathering his thoughts together. It felt good to talk to someone. "I don't know. I don't regret it. It was great, believe me. But now, I don't know. I'm… scared. What if he thinks it was a mistake? What if he changed his mind and doesn't care about me now?" He was anxious again, running his words together in his panic.

"Calm down. If he didn't care, he wouldn't be acting so weird." Gojyo spoke practically. "Did it change your feelings for him? You still love him, don't you?"

He wasn't surprised that Gojyo knew. It made it easier to say out loud. "Yeah, I do. I love him."

"I doubt having sex changed his feelings for you any more than it changed your feelings for him. Probably scares the hell out of him, though. As for thinking it was a mistake, I don't know. This is a pretty big change between you, and it's pretty sudden."

Goku recalled the uncertainty and confusion he had seen in Sanzo's eyes the previous night. "But what if it didn't mean anything to him? What if it was just casual sex?"

Gojyo snorted. "Casual sex? Sanzo? Somehow I don't think those two things will ever go together. Since when does Sanzo ever do anything 'casually'?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. I don't know what _to_ do." He looked at the floor. 

"Well, for a start, quit being scared of him. You'll never get past this if you can't even talk to him."

 Goku laughed sadly. "I don't know what to say."

Gojyo looked at him sternly, pointing his cigarette towards him to emphasize his point. "I've noticed. But you're just making yourself miserable, and you're both making Hakkai and I miserable. Sanzo isn't going to make this easy, but you have to buck up and face him. Stop acting like he's going to kill you and try acting normally"

"But what if he does want to kill me?"

Gojyo grinned. "Then you won't have to suffer anymore and I'll have more room in the backseat."

Goku scowled at him for a second, then couldn't help grinning back. "You wish!"

"That's the saru I know. And that's the saru Sanzo has grown to like. So be yourself. Quit moping around."

"I'm not a saru!" But he laughed as he said it, immensely relieved that he had been able to talk to Gojyo like this. Then another thought hit him. "Things just got carried away the other night. If it happens again I don't want it to be like that. I want it to be by choice, not by accident."

Gojyo looked at him for a minute before replying. "It may have happened by accident, but neither one of you would have let it get that far if you didn't want it. Sanzo isn't the type to be pushed into something he doesn't want. And neither are you. You're just gonna have to control yourself better; make sure you both agree it's right _before_ it happens."

 Goku thought on that for a moment, then nodded. "I think I can do that." He couldn't help but add to himself, _'at least I hope I can.'_

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

His anxiety quelled, at least for the moment, the evening passed peacefully enough. They returned to playing cards, continuing to play for information, but no other embarrassing questions came up. By the time Goku started to yawn, he found that he knew a lot more about Gojyo than he had before, and he was glad for the chance to get to know his friend better. He got up slowly after their last hand, intending to go to bed, when he suddenly remembered his plan to go down and get food. He wasn't hungry at the moment, but he wanted to grab something for tomorrow.

"Oi, kappa. Want to grab some food from the kitchen? Sanzo might not let us get breakfast tomorrow, so I want to be prepared."

Gojyo readily agreed, and they snuck downstairs, not wanting to let their companions across the hall know they were out and about. The kitchen was empty, but they had been expecting that, so they just left a note detailing everything they took. It took awhile, as they argued over what to take and how much. They ended up grabbing enough food to last an army a couple of days, or at least the two of them and their companions through lunch tomorrow. They also took a couple of cartons of Hi-Lites for Gojyo, and Goku thoughtfully grabbed two cartons of Marlboro Reds for Sanzo. He grabbed a bowl of fruit off the counter as they exited the kitchen, and paused to toss an apple to Gojyo. Picking over all that food had made him hungry again. 

They were heading upstairs, laughing over something Gojyo had said, when the redhead suddenly went quiet. Goku looked up to see Sanzo standing at the top of the stairs, looking down at them. He froze, suddenly wanting to be anywhere but there. He felt rather than saw Gojyo look over at him, and remembered their conversation earlier. _'Act like myself, that is who Sanzo has grown to like. Right.'_  Summoning up his courage, he continued up towards Sanzo. Reaching the top, he turned to face the monk. 

"Hey Sanzo. You're up late."

His words seemed to jolt Sanzo out of his reverie. The monk scowled at him and growled, "I could say the same for you two idiots."

"We were just raiding the kitchen." Seeing the blonde's scowl intensify, he continued. "Don't worry, we wrote everything down. They'll put it on the bill in the morning." He seemed to have answered Sanzo's concern, for the man didn't say anything.

They stood there for a second, watching each other warily, when Goyjo came up behind Goku. "Hey, I don't suppose you were going after these?" He held out one of the cartons of cigarettes. 

Sanzo looked at him, surprised. "What? Oh, yeah."

"Figured that was what would get you out here this late. Goku grabbed two cartons for you, but we'll put the other with our stores for tomorrow."

Goku started to babble as the surprised gaze was turned towards him. "I thought you might need them… Want some fruit?" Wanting to shut himself up, he extended the bowl to Sanzo, not really expecting the monk to take anything, and was surprised when the man reached out and grabbed an orange. When Sanzo pulled his arm back, their hands brushed, and Goku took the chance to reach out and squeeze his hand lightly. He felt Sanzo start at the contact, but didn't pull back. He kept his eyes trained on Sanzo's face, wanting to see his reaction. The violet eyes locked with his and he smiled gently. "Well, Goodnight."

He and Gojyo turned and headed into their room, leaving Sanzo standing in the hallway staring at them. As soon as the door was closed Goku staggered to the table and dropped his packages on it, then sagged onto the bed, his head in his hands. Gojyo leaned against the wall, a hand clapped over his mouth to muffle his laughter. 

"Oh my God." Goku groaned. "That was… hard."

"Yeah," Gojyo gasped, "but did you see his face when you grabbed his hand?"

Goku started to laugh as well, feeling the tension leave him. "Yeah, he did look pretty startled, didn't he?"

They laughed together then, until they were both wiping tears off their faces. As they recovered, they readied themselves for bed, and Goku waited until Gojyo had flopped into bed before turning out the light. He made his way through the dark to his own bed, but only sat on the edge. "Gojyo?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

In the light from the window he saw Gojyo turn onto his side, head propped on his arm. "It's okay. Just come to me sooner next time, why don't you? I won't promise not to make fun of you about everything, but not about the important things."

Goku smiled. "Do you really think I have a chance at this? At getting Sanzo, I mean?"

"It won't be easy – Sanzo never lets anything be easy – but yeah, I think you have a good chance."

Goku lay back on the bed, still smiling. "Night kappa," he said as he drifted off to sleep. 

"Night saru. Have sweet dreams of Sanzo."

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

A/N:

Thanks, stitcher2ficcer, you know why.

Lots of fantastic reviews to respond to. Thank you, all of you!

Nozomi Anshin: Thanks!

Bakasaru Boi: Hope this was a little bit of relief from all the tension. Don't want to see you sulking in a corner for too long. :)

Am1-13th: I'm glad you liked it!

dream-eater-is-hungry: Tension can be fun!

Me-Nuriko: I'm glad you are enjoying this. I'm looking forward to your upcoming story.

ethereal-tenshi: Here you go. Yeah, they are idiots, aren't they? ;)

Forsaken^On3: I hope this chapter qualified as 'more fun'.

Merf: Was this soon enough for you?

chibisanzo: I appreciate the compliment. I love writing Sanzo!

Crimson1: I was really pleased with that imagery, I'm glad you appreciated it. I know it's sad to say this far into the story, but I'm not sure yet about 5x8. I'm having way too much fun just concentrating on 3x9!

Pervasive Threnody: I just absolutely _loved_ 'Tadaima'! It was wonderful! I know 'believable' is a tough word when you are talking about fiction based on anime characters, but I try!

Li: Welcome to my story, and thank you. 

Callie: I agree with you, they are perfect together. Just going to have to wait and see how things work out.

Bleedformeee: That's quite the compliment, thanks! Bad grammar and spelling always puts me off, so I try my best. I also have a fantastic editor!

Zek Majiri: Don't worry, Hakkai can hold his own against Sanzo. You'll get to see them in the next chapter.

Yuki Kurai: 'Fun for the whole family'? Yeah, I agree with you! *grins* And you're welcome, they are quite good.

mabaroshi16: I'm not sure that is a word, but it's fun nonetheless! Glad you're liking this.

VG Terra: Glad to have you here. I'm happy you are enjoying this. 'Sleeping Confessions' is very sweet, I like it!

kyokujitsu no youkai: I'm glad you think I resolved the OOC thing. These guys can be kind of difficult sometimes. 


	7. Cigarettes and Headaches

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 7: Cigarettes and Headaches

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Sanzo stared out the window, glaring at his reflection. Hakkai had just left for dinner, leaving him alone. Sanzo's fingers tightened automatically on the cigarette pack in his hand. His mood had steadily worsened over the past days, and he was even starting to annoy himself, ludicrous as that was. He just couldn't shake his confusion about Goku, and knowing that the young man was affecting him this badly made his irritation worse. He hadn't been able to sleep since he had awoken to Goku's absence. No matter how much he tried to relax and shut his mind down, he wasn't able to shake the feeling of coldness, of missing the boy's warm body lying next to him. Even when he tried to nap in the jeep, the summer heat and Goku's nearness weren't enough to warm him, and he shivered every time he closed his eyes. He hadn't needed anyone else in a long time, so why now? Why was his long held policy of non-attachment failing him?

It pissed him off. It was bad enough that things had gotten out of his control two nights ago, now the same weakness was depriving him of sleep. He couldn't help but think of it as a weakness, this strong wave of emotion that surged through him whenever he thought about Goku. The events that had transpired forced him to feel things, forced him to recognize that he cared about the boy despite himself. He hated that he was continually drawn to Goku, hated that he could sense where the boy was most of the time; and when he couldn't, he hated the panic that whipped through him until he knew where he was. He was angry with Goku for making him feel this way, though he knew it wasn't the boy's fault. He felt guilty about it, and the guilt made him feel angrier still.

He reached for another cigarette, scowling at it as he realized it was the last one of his second pack of the night. He only had one pack left, then he would have to go down to the kitchen store to buy more. He could send Hakkai, but the man had brought him these packs, and he didn't want to deal with annoying questions about why he had gone through them so quickly. Later, when Hakkai had come back from dinner, he would go down. Less chance of running into anyone that way. Sanzo applied flame to the tip of the cigarette in his mouth. He inhaled deeply, holding the smoke in for as long as he could. He tilted his head back and exhaled slowly, creating a white cloud in front of him, and as the smoke dissipated into the darkness, he felt his anger dissipate as well. He closed his eyes and sighed, letting fatigue wash over him. 

He'd had a chance to clean it all up last night, when Goku had reached out to him as he sat beside the jeep on watch. He could have accepted the caress, returned it, but that would have confirmed the previous night's actions. It would have opened himself to too much possible hurt. At the same time, he couldn't bring himself to drive the boy away, convincing him with blows and angry words that this was stupid and just to forget about it. He knew that would break Goku's heart, and he found he couldn't do that. Some insolent part of his mind interrupted then, taunting him that it wasn't only the boy's heart he would break with such an action. He silenced that voice quickly, refusing to accept what that meant. Those were not his feelings for the boy, he told himself firmly. Sure, in a moment of weakness he had told Goku that he needed him, but that hadn't been what he'd meant. Had it? He had been Goku's guardian for years; of course he had come to care about him. Perhaps he had even come to need him as a friend needs a good friend. Goku could have interpreted his statement that way, couldn't he? Again, that annoying voice spoke up, reminding him that he had not meant it in a 'friendly' way when he'd said it. Sanzo's anger at himself resurfaced.

He tried to turn it off, to think things through without the red haze of anger clouding his mind. He was partially successful. Instead of a red haze, he fell into a golden-tinted dream state. He saw them both as they had been a few nights ago, his hands trapping the boy he had backed into a wall. He heard himself telling Goku he needed him. He felt the young man draw his hands up his arms, caressing him lightly. He shivered as he again felt the fire that Goku's touch created. The image seemed to fast-forward then, blurring together sights, feelings, and emotions, building up to such an intensity that he had to force his eyes open, unable to take it anymore. His body felt cramped and sore, as if he had fallen asleep in his sitting position.  

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Sanzo was almost relieved when the door opened and Hakkai slipped in. He wasn't looking for company, but he didn't relish being alone with his thoughts. At least when someone was around he was better able to control his mind. The youkai didn't say anything as he set a tray down on the small table against the wall. Sanzo continued to stare out the window, ignoring Hakkai as he puttered around the room, eventually sitting down on his bed with a book. The other man didn't start reading though, just sat there, occasionally glancing at Sanzo. Pretending he was oblivious to Hakkai's looks, Sanzo did nothing. As the smell of food filled the air, Sanzo realized he was actually hungry, and finally moved towards the table. Hakkai looked at him, but again said nothing as he sat down. 

It wasn't until Sanzo was halfway done with his meal that the other man's silence got to him. "Alright already. What?" he growled.

Hakkai looked at him for a minute before replying, "Enjoying your dinner?"

Sanzo frowned at him. "That all you have to say?"

Hakkai didn't flinch away from the look, just continued to stare calmly back at him. "Goku didn't come down either. He said he wasn't hungry."

He supposed that should surprise him, but it didn't, so he said nothing. He knew why. As Hakkai had said before '_Sanzo, you're the only person that could have gotten Goku that depressed._' 

There was a long pause as Sanzo continued to eat, Hakkai watching him expectantly. Sanzo narrowed his eyes. He did not want to talk about this, not even with Hakkai. "I told you it doesn't concern you." He knew he was being irrationally harsh, but he didn't care.

Hakkai spoke without anger. "It does concern me when it affects all of us. Poor Goku is miserable, and you are making things really hard on both Gojyo and me."

Like he cared if Gojyo was finding things difficult. Too bad. "And I'm supposed to care? Why?"

"Because we're friends. And we're concerned about you."

"You don't need to be. I'm fine."

Hakkai quirked an eyebrow at him. "I can tell. That's why you haven't slept in two days."

Sanzo's barely suppressed anger flared. "Damn it. I do _not _want to talk about this!"

"I think you need to. Do you really want to see this problem continue?"

"You just won't take a fucking hint, will you?" He pulled his gun and pointed it at Hakkai. "I said I don't want to talk about this."

"Put that down. You can cow Gojyo and Goku that way, but we both know you aren't going to shoot me. You haven't even cocked it." 

Sanzo was tempted to cock the gun and fire a warning shot past Hakkai's head, but he knew the other man was right. If it had been Gojyo, he wouldn't have hesitated, but he couldn't shoot Hakkai. He slowly placed the gun on the table, keeping it out in the hopes that it would serve as a deterrent. He should have known it wouldn't work.

"Thank you. Now," Hakkai spoke kindly, but steel glinted in those green eyes, "please talk to me."

Sanzo remained silent, hoping Hakkai would let it drop. The youkai let the silence stretch out for several minutes before speaking. "Sanzo…"

"What the fuck do you want from me, Hakkai?" He was really irritated now.

"Just honesty. I know you're bothered by something. What happened?"

Suddenly uncomfortable, Sanzo got up and headed towards the door, looking for an easy way out of this conversation. He was only halfway there before Hakkai was in front of him, locking the door and leaning against it. "No, I'm not letting you go until you talk to me."

He growled at Hakkai. The man was the only one who ever dared stand up to him like this. 

Hakkai was unperturbed. "I've got all night. So you can talk now, or we can wait until you've run out of cigarettes and want more." He waved a hand towards the last pack on the table. "Somehow I don't think that will take long."

Sanzo stubbornly refused to meet his eyes and stomped over to the table, snatching up the pack and angrily pulling out a cigarette. He lit it and slumped back into his chair. He smoked furiously, lighting another as soon as his first was done. "Fine. What the hell do you want to know?"

"What do you want to tell me?" 

Sanzo snorted mirthlessly. "Nothing. I've already told you that."

Hakkai returned to the table, sitting across from him again. He waited for Sanzo to speak, but when there was only silence, he asked, "Is all this related to the… kiss I saw in the inn two nights ago? Or did something more happen?"

For a second Sanzo was speechless, the direct question throwing him. "That's none of your business." Frustration showed in Hakkai's eyes for a moment, but it was gone as soon as Sanzo noticed it. The monk felt a perverse sense of pleasure that Hakkai wasn't enjoying this any more than he was. 

"I thought we were friends. Maybe you define friendship differently than I, but I think helping my friends is my business. Let me help you."

"You can help by leaving me alone." Sanzo took a long drag off his cigarette, then lit another. 

"I'm Goku's friend too. How does leaving you alone help him?"

"And how exactly does bugging the shit out of me help him?"

Hakkai frowned at him. "I was hoping you would listen to reason and we could smooth this out between you."

"Ch' Listen to what reason? I suppose you want me to go sobbing over to his room and plead with him to forgive me for my angry ways?" He was being irrational again. 

Hakkai's words were tinged with frustration. "You know that's not what I'm saying. I don't even know what happened. You won't tell me! Instead you insist on keeping it all to yourself."

"I've done just fine by myself for years. I don't see why it should fucking change now."

"And that's your problem, isn't it? That's why you're pushing Goku away. Because you don't need him or any of us." Hakkai's anger was rising now.

"That's right. I don't need any of you. The only reason you're here in the first place is because you were ordered to be here. Don't deny it! This isn't some half-baked field trip. This is a life or death journey. And whether that journey ends with four or with less, it doesn't matter as long as the deed is done." Sanzo felt less angry than he did strangely detached. Too many hours without sleep were weighing heavily on him.

Hakkai stood up swiftly. "And you're okay with that? 'Whoops, sorry you died here while trying to save the world. Good thing nobody cared much about you.' As far as I'm concerned that's wrong. We may have been forced to be here in the beginning, but that has long since changed. At least for the rest of us. I don't know why you're so much in denial that you refuse to see it. We _all_need each other now."

Sanzo stared at him coldly. "So much for 'the only side I'm on is my own,' huh? That disappeared pretty fucking quickly."

Hakkai leaned towards him, green eyes locking with his. "Since when do those two things have to be exclusive? We all _are_ on our own side. But when those sides correspond, it makes the journey easier."

"You three can be as buddy-buddy as you want. Just don't expect me to care when that concern gets you hurt." Even as he said it, Sanzo knew this was a lie.

"You didn't seem so casual about it when Goku saved your life!"

Sanzo jerked back, stung. 

Hakkai instantly calmed and sat back down. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."

Wanting to get away, Sanzo moved to his previous seat by the window, taking his cigarettes and the ashtray with him. He stared at his reflection angrily. That last comment had hit too close to the mark. He could deny it as many times as he wanted, but the truth was staring him in the face. He had come to think of them all as friends. He had come to rely on them to watch his back, and even for companionship. That much he could admit to himself. And Goku… He refused to think about what Goku meant to him.

They sat in silence for a long time, as Sanzo worked his way through his third pack. He knew Hakkai was watching as he lit each cigarette off the previous one. 

The man finally broke the silence by sighing. "Look Sanzo, you never chain smoke like this unless something is bothering you badly. I thought you knew you could come to me about anything. You have been there through some of the most difficult points of my life. Why can't you talk to me about this?"

"I can't. Not now. Maybe after this is over, but not now." His stubborn pride would not let him rely on anyone else for help. And hell, how could he explain to Hakkai what he himself didn't understand?

"Fine. When you want to talk, I'll be here. I can't force you to let me help you. If you want to wallow in self-pity and recriminations, so be it." Hakkai got up from the table and lay down on his bed, his back to Sanzo.

Strangely, Hakkai's withdrawal made Sanzo feel hollow and shaky. Was that what he was doing? Drowning himself in pity over his previous loss and his confusion now? Dragging the rest of them down with him? He stared at the man's back, struggling with his discomfort. He hadn't meant to make Hakkai mad, just to make him stop pushing. Hakkai was always so calm; if he had gotten irritated that easily, it must mean that things were pretty bad. Sanzo sighed, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. He wasn't sure how long he sat there thinking about their conversation, but he suddenly realized that Hakkai's breathing had slowed to the rhythm of sleep. Still upset by it all, he shook the pack to get another cigarette, and was dismayed to find it empty. It was going to be another long night; he would have to go for more. Hakkai didn't move as he stood up and walked out. 

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

He stopped at the door across the hall, listening. Hearing nothing, he assumed Gojyo and Goku were asleep. It was late, and they knew he would want to be up early. Feeling oddly sentimental, he wondered how the saru was sleeping, but stopped that train of thought before it could go any further. Craving the comfort of another cigarette, he headed down the hall, but hadn't gone far before he heard familiar laughter downstairs. 

He paused at the top of the stairs, freezing as Goku and Gojyo came into view and their laughter died. He watched as the boy froze on the bottom step for a moment, then shook himself back into movement when Gojyo looked at him. Sanzo could only stare as Goku climbed towards him, stopping when he reached the top.

"Hey Sanzo. You're up late."

Unprepared to see Goku acting so normal, and still shaken after his confrontation with Hakkai, Sanzo felt as if he was swimming through molasses, every movement a struggle. He scowled as Goku told him they had been raiding the kitchen, frustrated that they would have to delay their departure the next morning to settle things with the innkeeper. The normalcy of his irritation was almost as comforting as a cigarette. 

The irritation faded slightly when Goku told him they had written everything down, surprised that the two possessed that much forethought. He looked at Goku, watching him carefully. The saru was acting like nothing was wrong, but he was showing telltale signs of his nervousness. His hands twisted around the bowl he was carrying, and he shifted his weight from foot to foot. Sanzo felt himself being scrutinized as well, and wondered what the young man was reading from him.   

He was startled when Gojyo handed him the carton of cigarettes he had been wanting, but his attention quickly snapped back to Goku. The boy looked even more nervous, and quickly blurted out, "I thought you might need them… Want some fruit?" With his words he pushed the bowl towards Sanzo.

Sanzo didn't, and was about to reply as such when he realized he had already reached out and picked up an orange. Perplexed as to why he had taken it, he didn't realize he had brushed Goku's hand until the young man grabbed him, giving his hand a quick squeeze. At the simple contact, Sanzo started, and his eyes jumped back to lock with Goku's again. The young man's gentle smile was reflected in the golden depths, hypnotizing Sanzo. He heard Goku tell him goodnight, but it wasn't until the door shut behind him and Gojyo that Sanzo found he could move again. He stared at the door, his pulse pounding in his ears. He was shaking. How could Goku be so… casual about this? He strode into his room, shutting the door quickly and leaning against it. 

Hakkai looked up at his abrupt entrance, and Sanzo saw the youkai's eyes widen as he took in his appearance. He knew what he must look like. His breathing was shallow, hands holding both orange and cigarettes trembling. He pushed away from the door and somehow made it to the table, collapsing into his seat and setting his head in his hands. Hakkai was beside him in a flash. "Sanzo, are you okay? You're so pale. What happened?"

Sanzo opened his mouth to order him away, but what spilled out was not what he meant to say. "What you saw the other night in the inn… That was just the beginning. We… Goku and I… we ran into each other…and… things continued…" He trailed off, finally able to stop himself. 

Obviously not expecting the confession, Hakkai stared at him for a moment, fumbling with his chair as he tried to sit down without removing his eyes from Sanzo. Finally seated, he smiled slightly, encouraging the other to go on. 

Sanzo didn't think he could, and kept his silence. The moment stretched on, and as the seconds ticked by, he felt like he had to say something. "Isn't that enough for you?" He tried, unsuccessfully, to regain his composure.

Hakkai patted Sanzo's shoulder gently. "If that's all you want to tell me, that's fine."

The lack of pressure and the comforting touch loosened his tongue again. "We… we ended up… taking things a lot further than we meant to… You wanted to know what happened, now you know."

Hakkai smiled to himself  "That's about what I expected."  

Sanzo still didn't lift his head. "That's all you have to say?"

"How do you feel about this?"

Sanzo groaned and finally sat up, rubbing his neck. "Do you think if I knew the answer to that I would be in this mess?"

Hakkai quirked an eyebrow at him. "You don't know how you feel about it?"

"Yes…no… I don't know. It was… good. Very good. Great, in fact. Call it what you want, emotion, lust, whatever, still…" He trailed off.

"It changes things."

"Yes. I don't know if I want a change like that. I'm supposed to be his guardian, damn it. I'm not supposed to be taking advantage of his misplaced affection."

Hakkai smiled slightly. "Is his affection really misplaced? And how are you taking advantage of something he's obviously willing to give?"

"I can't give him what he wants, Hakkai. There was so much longing in his eyes that night. He asks too much. I can't do it. I can't open myself to that kind of pain again"

"You don't think the benefits of being with him could outweigh the risks involved?… Would being with him make you happy, Sanzo?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure I even know what that kind of happy feels like." Sanzo reached for the carton of cigarettes and tore it open with still trembling hands. Hakkai reached over him and pulled out a pack, tapping out a cigarette and handing it to him. "Thanks." He lit the cigarette and took a deep drag. "And what about Goku? Does he have any idea what this could mean? Is he ready for it?"

Hakkai smiled again. "He's more ready than you think. His affections for you have been obvious for a while. He's probably more concerned about how _you_ feel about all this." 

"I know." Sanzo rubbed his forehead with his free hand. "Damn, this is giving me one hell of a headache." He was silent for a long moment. "I don't want to hurt him… or to destroy his innocence. I don't want to ruin the relationship we already have."

A frown appeared on Hakkai's face. "He's not a child, Sanzo. He's grown up a lot since you brought him down from the mountain. He's old enough to know what he wants. His innocence may make him seem young, but he's only a little younger than the rest of us. And you know that. I don't think you would have let yourself get carried away if you didn't."

"Maybe. But allowing myself to accept that makes me feel…" He wasn't sure what to say.

"Feel like this isn't such a bad idea after all?" Hakkai finished for him.

Sanzo met the man's eyes, his voice harsh. "I can't do that, Hakkai. I can't let this happen."

"Why not? What good will come out of denying yourself?"

"It's not the good I'm worried about." Sanzo took another drag, absently rubbing his temples. "Gods, I'm tired."

Hakkai glanced out the window. "It's pretty late. We should be getting to bed if we're going to get an early start."

Sanzo nodded, wanting nothing more than to escape into dreamless sleep. He got up slowly, taking one last drag before putting his cigarette out. As they both headed towards their beds, Hakkai paused. 

"Do you care for him?"

"I've been his guardian for years. How could I not have come to care for him?"

"And as more than his guardian?"

Sanzo said nothing for a long time, shrugging down the shoulders of his robe and trying to get comfortable in bed. When he finally answered, it was quiet and thoughtful. 

"Yes."

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

A/N: 'A Simple Kiss' broke 100 reviews! Yeah! *hands out chocolate cake and ice cream to all the wonderful reviewers and readers* Thank you all so much. Your comments and enthusiasm are incredibly inspiring. This story has become much more than I ever thought it would be, and it's all thanks to you.

Thanks, stitcher2ficcer.

bleedformeee: You can't tell me that enough. I'm not sure this chapter was exactly sweet, but that's Sanzo for you.

Zek Majiri: Your feedback is always welcomed, so never think it's redundant. I _want_ to know you are still enjoying this!

Pervasive Threnody: Unless my situation changes, I plan to try to update every weekend. (As long as our Saiyuki bishies don't give me any problems). I'm glad you enjoyed the Goku/Gojyo conversation. 

Am1-13th: Thanks! I appreciate the compliment. I hope I can keep you speechless.

mabaroshi16: *bows for applause* Thank you. Gojyo was fun to write, and Goku is always fun!

Forsaken^On3: Back to more angst for this chapter, but don't worry. The next chapter is pure fun!

Eclipse45: Welcome to my story, and I'm glad you are enjoying it. I'm working hard to keep the guys IC, so I'm glad you think it's working. Here's a little dose of Hakkai for you, and the next chapter is from his POV, so I hope you enjoy it. 

dragon keeper: I always like to mention all my reviewers, I wouldn't be here without you! I'm happy you are enjoying my story. Sorry, it's going to take a few more chapters than that for things to work out, but hang in there, their relationship is slowly changing.

Genki-Saru: I'm glad you like this. You'll have to wait and see what happens.

dream-eater-is-hungry: Gojyo makes a great big brother. He can be really sweet when he wants to.

Silver on the Tree: That's my favorite line from that chapter. I'm glad you reviewed, hope you enjoyed this chapter as well.

Merf: Thanks! 

Callie: I agree with you. Gojyo does get misrepresented sometimes. I like him much better like this. Goku has some surprises for _all_ of them, just wait. 

Bakasaru Boi: I'd like to have a big brother like him too. I'm glad you liked it. Lots of people like oranges, so I thought Sanzo might as well.  

Yoyo: I hope you get a new computer soon. It sucks to have to be out of touch. I really appreciate you saying this is your favorite! 

Mitsko: Thanks! I try.

AznSage: Thank you for your honest and thoughtful review. I'm glad you liked the traveling part. I was a little worried about writing that well, and I think it came out pretty good. I hope I can keep this interesting for you.

Lyss: Sanzo can be really difficult, but he's just so wonderful when I can get him nailed down. Hope this chapter satisfied you as well.

ChibiLoner: Another convert to the Sanzo/Goku pairing! Welcome to the club. 

SnakeMistress: Definitely more angst coming. About more? I'm not telling J

Me-Nuriko: Glad you liked it. Our mutual friend said we are bad influences on her, keeping her from doing any real work with our writing. Here's to many more hours of her enjoyment!

SwitchVale: Don't worry, this isn't the end. Goku isn't done fighting yet.

Rinslet: Hope this was soon enough for you. Welcome!

Kristen: Thanks!


	8. Meatbuns and Ki Blasts

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 8: Meatbuns and Ki Blasts

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

When Hakkai awoke, Sanzo was already up, his belongings packed and set on his bed. He wondered what had woken him until he heard banging on the door across the hall. Sanzo's voice filtered through the door.

"Get the fuck up! We leave in 10 minutes. Whoever isn't ready gets left behind."

Someone in the room must have protested, because he continued a few seconds later.

"I said we're leaving! You want food, eat in the jeep."

Ignoring further protests, Sanzo stormed back across the hall and threw open the door. Hakkai smiled at him "Good morning." 

The monk's eyes narrowed as he grabbed his bag. "I'll be downstairs. Get those idiots going or I'm going to walk west. Alone."

Hakkai shook his head at Sanzo's retreating back. He had thought their talk last night might make a difference, but apparently it had not. The man was in just as bad a mood this morning as he had been the last two days. But maybe his interactions with Goku would be a little less hostile today. Hakkai brightened at the thought. If Gojyo had had any luck talking with Goku, maybe the drive would be missing the tension that had characterized everything the two did recently. He could hope, couldn't he?

In a cheery mood, he quickly dressed and packed his stuff. Checking to make sure the room was empty, he crossed the hall to knock at the other door. "Goku, Gojyo, are you up?"

"Yeah, Hakkai, come on in," came Gojyo's reply.

When he entered the room he was surprised to see that both were dressed and packing their things, though neither looked like they had slept much. Goku kept rubbing his bloodshot eyes, and Gojyo couldn't seem to stop running a hand through his hair. They both smiled at his entrance, and he was relieved to see that Goku seemed much more relaxed. The talk must have gone well. 

"Ready? Sanzo is impatient this morning." Hakkai didn't miss the faint shadow that crossed Goku's face, but it disappeared quickly.

"When is he not?" Gojyo muttered, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "Damn cranky monk."

Hakkai laughed. "Yes, well, let's not give him another reason to gripe, shall we?"

Goku hopped up and shouldered his bag. "Hakkai, we grabbed some extra food last night, so we should have plenty for breakfast. Maybe lunch as well. When will we get to the next town?"

"Well, we'll be going through a small town around lunchtime, so we can buy supplies there. But after that, there won't be another town until tomorrow evening."

Gojyo groaned. "So we get to spend another night in the damn forest."

"Now, now, Gojyo. It's not that bad. At least the weather is good. And the town we'll hit tomorrow is pretty big, so we should have our pick of inns. And restaurants," Hakkai added on Goku's behalf. 

Goku grinned. "Great!"

They left the room and headed downstairs. Sanzo was waiting for them, glaring. "Took you long enough," he muttered.

Hakkai just smiled at him, and they all walked outside and got into the jeep.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

As soon as they hit the open road, Goku and Gojyo dug into the packages they had picked up last night. Hakkai watched in the rearview mirror as they squabbled over the fruit and cheese, relieved to hear them arguing again. After taking what they wanted, Gojyo leaned over the front seat and handed Hakkai an apple.

"Here ya go. What else do you want? We have cheese and rolls."

"Just some bread."

"Sure. Let me know when you're ready for it."

Hakkai bit into the juicy apple, enjoying the crisp flavor. "What a beautiful morning."

Sanzo glowered, but any negative comments the monk might have made were silenced when Goku leaned forward and extended a peach to him. "Hey Sanzo, here. Do you want a roll?"

Sanzo looked towards Hakkai again, and their eyes met. Hakkai silently goaded Sanzo to remember their conversation and his confession the previous night. He didn't really think it would work, so was pleasantly surprised when the blonde said, "No, thanks, this is enough." Though he growled the comment, it was definitely the least hostile thing he had said in awhile.

The two in the backseat exchanged startled looks. They had obviously expected some sort of sarcastic comment, not this… politeness. After looking at each other, they turned in unison to stare at Sanzo.

This proved to be Sanzo's undoing. "What the hell are you two looking at?" he snarled.

They continued to stare at him until he whipped around and smacked them both with his fan. Cries of "Owwww" and "Damn it!" made Hakkai smile to himself. Seemed like things were at least partly back to normal.

They made good time, and reached their destination by 10am. As it was a little early for lunch, though Goku didn't think so, they spent some time wandering through the general store. It wasn't large, but it had most of what they would need for the next day and a half. Hakkai was busy figuring out exactly how much rice they would need when Gojyo came up behind him. "Hey, Hakkai, we almost done here?"

Hakkai glanced at what he had already picked up. "Not quite. Still have a few things I need to get. Where are Goku and Sanzo?"

"The saru is drooling over the meatbuns, and the monk said he was going out for a cigarette."

Looking up, he saw that Gojyo's description was correct. Goku's tongue was hanging out of his mouth as he stared at rows upon rows of meatbuns. Hakkai stifled a chuckle. "Good, can you help me with this?"

Gojyo held out a hand. "Sure, lay it on me." His easy acceptance changed into reluctance when Hakkai laid their choices in his arms. "Damn, Hakkai, it's only a day and a half. Do we really need all this?"

Hakkai didn't look away from the shelf he was perusing. "Do you really want to deal with Goku if we run out of food?"

A pained look crossed the half-breed's face. "Good point. Grab some more of that, why don't you?"

Laughing as he picked up two bottles of spices, Hakkai glanced at Goku to make sure he was still there. He lowered his voice so it wouldn't carry to the young man. "I take it the talk went well?"

Gojyo had been reading the back of a box of crackers, but at this he snapped his attention back to Hakkai. "Yeah, it did. Can't you tell?"

They both looked back towards Goku. Hakkai nodded. "He has seemed much more upbeat today. And he's reacted very positively to Sanzo all morning. Almost like his normal self."

"Speaking of the monk," Gojyo murmured, "What the hell did you say to him? He was actually polite earlier."

"I just reminded him how important we are to each other."

Gojyo looked skeptical. "And that's all?"

Hakkai looked him square in the eye for a few seconds, and finally Gojyo backed off. "Fine, fine. I know, he'd kill us if you told me."

"That's right. Besides, there is no telling if it did any good or not. Only time will tell." He broke off then, as Goku trotted over to them.

"Hakkai, can we get some meatbuns? Huh? Please."

Hakkai couldn't help but laugh. "Sure, Goku. Decide what you want and I'll be over as soon as I finish here." He smiled at the boy's retreating back.

Hakkai turned to see Gojyo watching Goku as well. In a voice pitched for Hakkai alone, he murmured, "He really loves that stupid monk with all his heart, can you believe it?" Turning to search Hakkai's face, he added, "Think Sanzo loves him back?"

Hakkai paused for a moment, not wanting to betray Sanzo's confidence. Finally he settled on saying, "I think so, but only time will tell." Gojyo shot him a disgruntled look, but he just smiled. It was true, after all.

The three trooped out of the store to find Sanzo sitting on the steps, smoking. Basking in the morning sun, he had stripped his robes down to his waist. Hakkai thought he looked more peaceful than he had in days. Gojyo set his packages down beside Sanzo and sat down as well, drawing out a cigarette and lighting it. Surprisingly, Sanzo didn't hurry them on their way. Instead he moved slightly to make room for Hakkai or Goku to sit down as well. Hakkai glanced at Goku, but the boy shook his head, gesturing for him to take the seat. Hakkai gazed out at the town as he settled himself comfortably. Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention, and he turned his head slightly to see Goku step tentatively up behind the seated monk. He extended a cautious hand and laid it gently on the man's shoulder. Hakkai saw Sanzo stiffen slightly, an uncertain look sweeping across his face. Then just as swiftly it was gone, and he relaxed under the younger man's touch. Hakkai could see that Gojyo was also watching the pair. A slow smile crept across the half-breed's face as Sanzo relaxed. Hakkai couldn't repress his own smile at the hope shining in Goku's eyes. 

All too soon the moment was disrupted by the sound of a rumbling stomach, though to all their surprise it came from Gojyo, not Goku. They grabbed their belongings and headed off to lunch. The meal was a peaceful affair, all four of them still affected by the contented mood that had come over them outside the general store. They chatted amiably about nothing in particular, and even Sanzo laughed at one of Gojyo's jokes. 

Finally Sanzo stood up and waved his credit card at the waitress. "We've wasted enough time. Let's get going." They headed out and hopped into the jeep, heading off into the noonday sun.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

It was early when they finally stopped to rest, but they were all hungry and tired. The drive hadn't been bad, just long. After working quickly to set up camp, Hakkai brought out the makings of their dinner. Goku came up to him as he was working and began to help. Hakkai gave him a grateful smile.

"Hakkai, after dinner can we work on ki techniques again?" The boy was grinning with eagerness.

"Sure, Goku, that sounds fine."

"Great!" With even more energy than before, the young man threw himself into getting dinner ready.

With Goku's help, it didn't take long to make their meal, and they enjoyed it together. After a quick cleanup, Goku and Hakkai retreated to the far side of the clearing, leaving Gojyo and Sanzo sitting underneath a tree smoking and talking quietly. They sat down facing each other and began their training as they always did, with meditation to clear their minds. Hakkai didn't really need the time to gather his ki, and he had found that Goku was powerful enough not to need it either, but they did it anyway to relax from the pressures of the day's journey. Goku was impatient tonight, so it didn't take long for the boy to hop up and start stretching. Letting Goku set the pace for the evening, Hakkai got up and joined him. As soon as they were warmed up, Hakkai asked Goku what he wanted to do tonight.

"Let's spar!" was the boy's cheerful response. 

Hakkai glanced over at Gojyo and Sanzo, who were paying them no mind. This would be the first time they had sparred in front of their companions, at Goku's request, and he wanted to make sure they were far enough back. "Okay, but let's start out light."

They dropped into fighting stances and eyed each other warily, balls of ki forming in both their hands. Hakkai struck first with a light shot that he slowly tossed towards Goku. It deflected harmlessly off the shield that Goku had raised. Hakkai opened his mouth to praise his quick reaction when Goku moved. Hakkai barely had time to raise his own shield before not one, but two powerful ki balls careened into it. The impact slid him backwards in the dirt and lit the entire clearing. Keeping his shield up, he called out, "Goku, I said light!"

"Sorry, Hakkai. But that was light!" Goku spread his palms to show he wasn't attacking as he approached Hakkai.

"You've got to be kidding me." A voice broke in. "There's no way that was a light shot!"

Hakkai turned to see Gojyo and Sanzo standing behind him, the bright flash having attracted them. 

Goku stepped backwards until he reached the edge of the clearing. "If you want, I'll show you a harder shot," he said with a grin. The ki ball forming in his hands was the brightest one Hakkai had ever seen. Goku readied it, but didn't throw it. "Ready, Hakkai?" 

_'I do believe he's showing off,'_ thought Hakkai. He raised both hands to form his thickest shield around the three of them and braced himself against the ground. He wasn't actually worried that Goku would break through the shield, but he didn't want to chance being pushed over either. Hakkai gave a swift nod, indicating that he was ready, amazed that Goku had been holding that much ki for that long.

If possible, the ball grew brighter as Goku launched it in a graceful arc. It wasn't fast, but Hakkai could feel the huge amount of energy coming from it. Apparently Gojyo could as well, since he grabbed Sanzo, yanking him to his knees. "Get down!" the half-breed yelled.

Grateful for Gojyo's actions, Hakkai had just enough time to kneel before the energy smashed into his shield. He had never absorbed a blow that powerful, and with his limiters in place, didn't have the ability to release that much energy himself. If he hadn't already been on his knees, he would have ended up there. The energy crackled and snapped, throwing sparks in every direction. It didn't die upon impact, but instead spread out, quickly nearing the outer edges of his shield. He spread the shield out farther, but that weakened the middle. He could feel the heat on his hands, and he began to worry. 

Then suddenly Goku was there. Hakkai had not even seen him move, but now he was standing behind him. Goku laid a hand on his shoulder and let his ki flow into Hakkai. It was as though a floodgate opened inside of Hakkai, and he gasped as an enormous amount of energy flowed through him. The shield he had been struggling to hold just a second ago snapped into place, completely surrounding them. It was so strong it warped their view outside. With the stronger shield in place, it didn't take long for the outside energy to dissipate, and finally Goku dropped his hand and the shield collapsed. As soon as Goku released him, Hakkai tipped forward. 

Gojyo caught him as he fell, and Hakkai shot him a grateful smile. He dropped into a sitting position, feeling a stinging in his hands as he placed them on the ground. He raised his palms and looked at them. They were red and blistered, though he didn't know if it was from the energy of the thrown ki ball or the energy that Goku had pushed through him. 

"Hakkai, are you okay?" A tentative voice broke into his thoughts. He raised his head to see Goku standing before him, looking at him worriedly.

"I'm okay, Goku. Just not used to… channeling that much energy." His voice sounded shaky.

Goku frowned. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just thought… it looked like you needed help."

"It's fine, Goku. You didn't know. I don't think any of us realize how much power you really possess." Hakkai wondered something. "That ki ball, and the energy you used to help me with the shield. That wasn't everything you had, was it?"

Goku shuffled his feet and looked away. "No," he said quietly. 

"Give me an estimate. About how much power did you put into that shot?"

"I'm not really sure. Maybe half? I don't know how to judge. But I didn't feel anywhere near tapped out."

Hakkai blinked at him, and he could see Gojyo gaping as well. Sanzo just looked at their younger companion. Only half? If he had powered up fully, they would all be dead. His shield wouldn't have lasted a second against that much power. 

Goku grew noticeably uncomfortable under the combined gaze of his three friends. He dropped to his knees in front of Hakkai and fixed his eyes on his hands. "Hakkai, let me help you." 

Hakkai let him take his hands, and watched as the flesh healed under Goku's touch. He hadn't taught him healing. If he was able to do something like this, what else was he capable of? The green glow faded slowly and he removed his hands from Goku's to stare at them in wonder. He could have healed a burn of that degree, but not that quickly. Hakkai smiled at Goku, and was relieved to see the uncertain look on the boy's face change to a returning smile. "Thank you, Goku. It feels much better now."

Goku's face broke out into a grin. "You're welcome. Let me get you some water." He rushed off towards their supplies, his friends continuing to watch him.

"You really okay, Hakkai?" asked Gojyo quietly, concern evident in his voice.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just tired. That was… incredible. It was like suddenly having a waterfall flowing through my whole body. I've never felt anything like it. But when it stopped… it was like a sudden drain." Hakkai shook his head in amazement. "To think that was only part of his power… I had no idea." 

Gojyo nodded in agreement. "None of us did. How could we? He's never used his energy like that."

Sanzo finally spoke up. "Can he control that much energy?" The monk sounded curious, but apprehensive as well.

"He's done really well so far. I don't know what would happen if he tried to use his full force, though. I don't think he could handle it right now." Hakkai thought about it for a minute before continuing. "I have an idea. Let's try a test." Goku came up to him then, a glass of water in hand. Hakkai took it and drank gratefully. "Goku, I want you to try something for me."

The young man cocked his head and looked quizzically at him. "Okay"

"Call Nyoi-bou for me." 

Goku stepped back and stretched out his hand. "Nyoi-bou!" The staff appeared in his hands in a flash. 

"I want you to try channeling some ki into it. Not too much now, no more than what you used to form the blast." 

"Okay." The boy took another step back and closed his eyes. A green glow lit his hands, then transferred onto the staff. It glowed brightly for a second, then died down as he stabilized the level of power. "Now what?"

Hakkai glanced around them. "See that rock over there? I want you to hit it, but just lightly."

Goku glanced at Sanzo, looking for reassurance that this random act of destruction was okay. Sanzo nodded at him, and Goku walked over to the rock.

"Just tap it." Hakkai called after him.

Goku reached out with Nyoi-bou and tapped the tip of it on the rock… which suddenly exploded into dust. Goku dropped the shield he had raised the instant the rock exploded in front of him, and turned to Hakkai. "Wow! That was cool!"

Hakkai laughed. "That was pretty neat." He glanced around them, looking for something else to use for testing, but was brought back to Goku when he saw light flashing out of the corner of his eye. Goku had started twirling the glowing staff, and it was creating green circles in the darkening sky. He rotated it faster and faster, and the light started to fluctuate, pulsing as it spun. Hakkai was entranced by the lights, but the fluctuations worried him. Was Goku losing control? "Goku," he called.

"Yeah, Hakkai?" Goku didn't glance away from the staff in his hands, tossing it up in the air and catching it again with greater agility than they had ever seen him use. 

"That's… Wow." Gojyo commented breathlessly from behind him.

"Hakkai," Sanzo said, his voice tight. "This isn't a good idea."

Hakkai agreed. The staff was starting to pulse faster, and the glow and the pulsing had spread to include Goku's hands and arms. "Goku, I think you should stop now."

The young man started to argue, but a glance at Sanzo's face shut him up. He threw Nyoi-bou in the air one last time, and then sent it away as it was tumbling down towards him. He took two steps towards Hakkai, and with a surprised look, sank to his knees. "Oh," he said, then passed out.

It was exactly what Hakkai had suspected might happen, but he had thought he was the only one to realize it. Apparently Sanzo had come to the same conclusion, and before Goku hit the ground, he was crouched beside him, an arm around his shoulders. "Stupid monkey."

Gojyo helped Hakkai stand up, still a little shaky on his own feet. The redhead kept a steadying hand under his elbow as he made his way over to Sanzo. The monk scooped Goku into his arms and stood up. "Sanzo," Hakkai said, "he's just tired himself out. He isn't used to using that much ki."

"Not surprising," the blonde growled, "with that little show he was putting on."

"Be patient with him," Hakkai pleaded, "He's learning what he can do. He's apt to overdo it at first. I did too when I learned how to use my ki. It takes practice to know when to quit."

Sanzo said nothing, but when he turned and walked away, Goku still cradled in his arms, it looked to Hakkai as if he took extra care not to jostle his burden.

Gojyo squeezed his elbow to get his attention, and Hakkai turned his head to look at him. "Come on, it's time for bed for you too. Goku isn't the only one that needs to rest after that."

Hakkai smiled. "You're right," he admitted. "I'm going to sleep well tonight. Make sure you wake me up to watch though. You should probably take first watch and let me take the second. We don't want Sanzo up all night again."

Gojyo nodded and they headed towards their waiting beds.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

A/N: 

You guys are the best reviewers! So many people enjoying this, I just love you all! *hugs everyone within reach*

Thanks, Stitcher2Ficcer, for your incredible enthusiasm.

p3c: Thanks! Don't worry; he's around here… somewhere. I think he's napping.

Bleedformeee: You're funny! I wouldn't let Sanzo hear you say his angst is hilarious, he'd probably be rather pissed.

stitcher2ficcer: You're the best!

Pervasive Threnody: Now, now, a week isn't that long. Here's your weekly fix. Hope it satisfies the craving.

mabaroshi16: He wanted to tell his side of things, and you don't argue with Sanzo if you value your life!

Callie: He hides them better than Goku does, but they're still there. It was fun bringing them to light.

Chibisanzo: Hakkai may act passive sometimes, but he can be pushy when he wants to. Makes him fun to write.

Rinslet: Thanks!

ethereal-tenshi: He is, isn't he? I just love him.

Nozomi Anshin: I'm trying hard to keep him IC, especially within the bounds of the development that has already occurred. Let me know if you think I'm failing at that. 

dragon keeper: *hides behind sofa* Was this soon enough?

Genjo Sanzo 1: Thanks! Don't worry, this will continue. 

Me-Nuriko: Sorry if ff.net was giving you fits. It sucks when that happens. I'm glad you are enjoying this. 

Yuki Kurai: I'm happy you like it!

ChibiLoner: I appreciate everyone that takes the time to review, so I like to take the time to respond. I haven't finished writing the whole story yet, but the repeating scenes shouldn't happen again, so don't worry about it. 

Genki-Saru: Sorry to leave you in suspense. Glad you like it.

Eclipse45: I want to give him a hug too! I think Goku might be jealous though.

Quirk: Welcome, and thanks for the compliment. I try to post every weekend, so keep an eye out around that time.

Bakasaru Boi: Poor Gojyo! Don't abuse him too badly, I need him for later chapters!

Mitsko: Don't worry, you aren't rushing me. I appreciate the compliment. I'm glad you think it's original, as I've tried hard to make it so.

Forsaken^On3: These boys just don't do anything without a little angst thrown in, but hopefully this chapter was a good break from it. The next one will be just as much fun!

Gallatica: Yum, chocolates! Ohh, caramel centers, my favorite! I'm glad your computer cooperated enough to let you read at least a few more chapters. It always makes me smile when a writer of such great 39 fics thinks mine is worth reading! Goku using ki was an idea I borrowed and expanded on from stitcher2ficcer's 'Awakenings', and I've been having a lot of fun with it. 


	9. Beer and Pool Cues

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 9: Beer and Pool Cues

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Goku opened his eyes and sat straight up. What had happened? The last thing he remembered was getting rid of Nyoi-bou… stepping towards Hakkai… Oh. He'd passed out. Someone had obviously carried him to his bed, as he was sitting on it now, his blanket pooled around his waist. He got up quietly and folded his bedroll, carrying it over to the rest of their belongings. Standing there in the clearing, he looked towards the sky. It was still early – the faint light declaring the sun was just beginning to rise – but he felt better rested than he had in days. A cool breeze caressed his skin, making him shiver slightly and leaving him with the most delicious feeling of being alive. 

Goku closed his eyes and extended his senses. The leaves in the trees rustled in the slight breeze, a soft, slow sound like the earth itself was sighing. There were birds all around him, just beginning their morning song. The largest number seemed to be congregated towards his left, and he opened his mouth a fraction to taste moisture on the air. They were grouped around the river, probably scratching in the mud for an early worm breakfast. His nose wrinkled at the thought, though a low grumbling in his stomach told him that his own breakfast would be appreciated. He ignored it for a moment and continued to scan the area with his senses. He could hear the soft breathing of his still sleeping companions, and he smiled softly at the thought of them. Wouldn't they be surprised to see that he was the first one up? He sniffed lightly, taking in the water from the river, the dying smoke from their campfire, the earth under his feet, cigarette smoke, the dry wind that promised another warm day… wait a minute. Marlboros? Goku turned towards the source of the distinctive smell and opened his eyes.

Sanzo was leaning against a nearby tree, cigarette in one hand, violet eyes turned in his direction. Despite the cool breeze, the man hadn't yet shrugged into the shoulders of his robe, leaving it dangling around his waist as usual. The faint light made his pale skin seem even whiter against his leather top, and the darkness of the tree he was under muted his golden locks. Not wanting to disturb the quiet morning peacefulness, Goku raised a hand in greeting. It took awhile, but Sanzo slowly returned the gesture. Goku strolled over to him, his heightened senses registering the grass crunching under his feet, the faint perfume of the flowers upon the tree Sanzo was leaning on, the growing warmth of the rising sun on his skin, and he felt the purest form of joy rising in his heart, the joy of living. 

Upon reaching the tree, he didn't say anything, just leaned against the tree next to Sanzo. The cool bark pressed in ridges against his back, and despite the smell of Sanzo's cigarette, the fragrance of the flowers close to his head lulled him into a dreamy, languid state. They rested there, just the two of them in the sunrise, comfortable together for the first time in days. Goku didn't feel the need to break the silence, just enjoyed the warmth of Sanzo's body next to him. He watched as the sun finally peeked over the horizon, then Sanzo's movement told him the moment was over and they would be journeying west again very soon. 

Goku pushed off the tree to a standing position, and turned to the man beside him. Still dizzy with the heady odor of the flowers, he was unable to concentrate properly, and acted without thinking. "Sanzo?"

"Hmmm?" 

"Thanks." Goku leaned forward and pressed a kiss on the monk's lips. It was a quick kiss, chaste and innocent, and he withdrew before Sanzo could react. Tossing the surprised man a smile, he turned and ambled back towards Gojyo and Hakkai, who were just waking up.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Gojyo blinked his eyes open, then shut them again as the light of the rising sun pierced his vision. He groaned, sitting up and rubbing his face with both hands. Damn, he hated sleeping outside like this. There was no comparing the forest floor to a nice soft bed in an inn with a bathroom and running water. He groaned again, and heard Hakkai's quiet laugh near him. 

"I know, but we'll reach a town later today. If we're lucky, we'll find an inn with enough vacant beds for all of us." 

Gojyo looked at Hakkai. How did he do that? The man always seemed to know what he was thinking. If he didn't know better, he would think Hakkai could read his mind.

"I don't need to be able to read your mind, your discomfort is written all over your face."

Gojyo jerked, faintly disturbed to hear his thoughts spoken out loud. "Quit that, Hakkai, you're creeping me out."

Hakkai laughed again. "Sorry."

Gojyo gave him a tired grin. "S'okay. It's just too early in the morning."

Goku sauntered up to them, a satisfied smile on his face. "Oi, you guys finally up? Thought you were going to sleep all day." He aimed a kick at Gojyo, who barely dodged it, weighed down by sleep-leaden limbs.

"That's pretty funny coming from you, saru." Gojyo shot back. "Since when do you get up before us? The monk drag your ass out of bed?"

"No," the smile spread into a grin. "I guess I just didn't need as much sleep as you, lazy kappa."

"That's probably because we were nice enough not to make you sit on watch. The _rest_ of us got to listen to you snore the night away." 

Goku looked bashful. "Yeah, about the watch thing. Thanks."

Hakkai broke in. "You were pretty exhausted last night. We thought you needed the sleep."

"Yeah," Gojyo snickered, "You didn't even move when Sanzo put you to bed." He was curious to see if Goku knew who had carried him away from the clearing.

His blush made it obvious he hadn't known. "S..Sanzo put me to bed?"

Gojyo was enjoying this. "Yeah. He caught you when you passed out and carried you all the way over here. It was very sweet." He leered as he said it.

Goku turned even redder. "You're lying!"

Hakkai stepped between them with a slight frown at Gojyo for antagonizing the boy. "He's telling the truth, Goku. Sanzo did put you to bed. It's nothing to worry about. Let's get some breakfast."

Hakkai walked towards their supplies and Goku turned to follow him, but as he did, Gojyo caught his eye and gave him a wink. He wanted the young man to know he was just teasing. Goku smiled, letting Gojyo know he understood. 

At breakfast Gojyo made sure to steal some of Goku's food. He couldn't be too easy on the kid now, could he? They squabbled a little, as usual. Surprisingly, Sanzo's fan didn't make an appearance, no matter how loud they got. Gojyo snuck a discreet look at the monk. He seemed… odd this morning. He wasn't talking to anyone, but he didn't look angry either. It was as though he was lost in his thoughts. Gojyo shrugged. Sanzo was Hakkai's problem, not his. His job was to deal with Goku.

Once even Goku's bottomless stomach was pacified, they threw their things into the jeep and took off. They were all eager to reach the next town. The novelty of sleeping outside had worn off rather quickly during their long journey, and they looked forward to every inn they could reach. And tonight Gojyo wanted to find a bar; their beer supply was running dangerously low. He also wanted to stock up on more cigarettes. He never knew when a town wouldn't carry his brand, and he hated having to smoke anything else, though he would, rather than go without. Damn monk didn't have that problem. Marlboro Reds were apparently a major brand, and everyone seemed to carry them. 

Thinking about cigarettes made him realize he hadn't had one yet that morning, so he drew out a pack and tried to light one. Despite his best efforts, the lighter just wouldn't light. Gojyo sighed. Now he would have to ask Sanzo for his. 

"Oi, Sanzo." The monk either didn't hear him or was ignoring him. "Sanzo." Gojyo called louder. Still no response. "Damn it," Goyjo mumbled. He reached forward and laid a hand on Sanzo's shoulder. "Hey, can—"

The effect his hand had on Sanzo was startling. The man whipped around, gun drawn, and pointed it at Gojyo. "Get your damn hands off me!"

Gojyo scooted back in his seat. "Fuck, I just want to borrow your lighter. Mine's shot."

"Oh." Withdrawing the gun, Sanzo tossed his lighter to Gojyo and turned back around.

"Damn it, you threaten to blow my head off and all you say is 'Oh'?"

"Shut up." There was clear menace in Sanzo's voice.

Deciding it wasn't worth risking his life over, Gojyo lit his cigarette. He considered keeping the lighter, but that would just piss Sanzo off later, so he tossed it into the man's lap. "Thanks."

Sanzo said nothing, just tucked the lighter back into his sleeve.

Gojyo took a drag off his cigarette and leaned his head back against the seat, watching the smoke trail off behind him. He gazed at the scenery for a while, but by the time he finished the cigarette, he found he was bored. Finding nothing better to do, he decided to annoy Goku.

"Hey, saru."

"Don't call me that, kappa."

Despite his intentions, Gojyo found himself growing serious. "What you did last night, with Nyoi-bou. That was cool."

Goku looked at him in surprise. "You really think so?"

"Yeah. Do you think you could do it when you fight?"

Hakkai joined their conversation. "I don't see why not. Though I'm not sure you should try it yet. We still don't know how much you're capable of, Goku, and we don't want to risk your getting hurt."

Goku looked disappointed, and Gojyo threw an arm over his shoulders. "Don't worry Goku, you'll get to blast youkai into bits soon enough."

Hakkai laughed and Sanzo turned to shoot them a glare. "This is not a game. Play around when we aren't trying to get through this damn mission."

The conversation effectively stalled, they lapsed into silence again. Gojyo found himself wanting another cigarette, but the craving wasn't bad enough to risk Sanzo's wrath to satisfy it. He shifted, trying to get comfortable, then closed his eyes and slept.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Gojyo was startled awake some time later by Goku poking him. He snarled at the boy, but stopped abruptly at the look on his face. "What—" 

Goku cut him off. "There's something here."

They all felt it moments before it happened. Goku was already in the air when the first youkai landed on the front of the jeep, claws outstretched to grab Sanzo by the throat. Goku came at him over the top of Sanzo's head, howling in anticipation of the battle ahead as he smashed into the youkai and knocked him off the jeep. Controlling his fall, Goku had Nyoi-bou out before he hit the ground.

Gojyo followed his friend's path, springing between Hakkai and Sanzo and over the windshield, his shakujou already swinging as he landed. Together, the two of them had cleared out their initial attackers before Hakkai and Sanzo even made it out of the jeep. There was still plenty for them to do though, as the second wave hit them from behind. The air was filled with the sounds of dying youkai, punctuated by the retort of Sanzo's gun and Goku's battle cries. Above it all was the whine of Gojyo's blade singing through the air. 

Gojyo and Goku ended up back to back as they cleared their immediate area. Taking a few seconds to breathe, Gojyo whipped around to give Goku a high five. The boy's golden eyes glinted with battle lust as his grin threatened to split his face. Grinning right back, Gojyo nodded towards Hakkai and Sanzo, who were surrounded. 

"Looks like they need some help. Shall we?" Goku didn't bother to answer. He ran towards Sanzo, extending Nyoi-bou as he moved, and used the length to vault himself over the youkai, as well as over Sanzo's head. He landed agilely in front of Sanzo, startling the monk with his sudden appearance. 

Gojyo could hear Sanzo complaining even as he worked his way towards Hakkai. "Damn it, saru. Quit fucking jumping over my head. That's twice now."

Goku ignored him, concentrating on keeping their enemies at bay while Sanzo reloaded. His eyes darted around, daring anyone to move towards him, and the youkai started to back away, sensing something dangerous about this young man. Hearing Sanzo snap the chamber closed and cock his gun, Goku moved closer to the monk, angling around to his side to get a clear line of sight. 

The largest group of youkai had congregated around Sanzo, so it was no surprise that Hakkai and Gojyo finished off their attackers first and started working through those surrounding Sanzo and Goku. Seeing them coming, Goku moved out of his protective position and threw himself into the battle. Nyoi-bou blurred as he took out enemy after enemy. They tried to move away from him, but his aggressiveness pushed them back into Gojyo's range, and they were soon cut down.

At a cry from Sanzo, Gojyo turned to see blood dripping down the monk's arm. A quick flip of his blade took out the youkai still gripping Sanzo's shoulder, but as Gojyo recalled his weapon, Goku whipped around Sanzo, crouching as he spun. The green light of his ki flared, and Nyoi-bou pulsed. The first youkai incinerated didn't even have time to scream. Swinging through the air, Nyoi-bou emitted a flash of light, blinding them all. Gojyo blinked away the spots in front of his eyes, and realized they were alone in the clearing. Where once had stood at least ten youkai, now there was only Goku, kneeling and breathing heavily. The boy struggled to his feet, leaning heavily on his staff to keep himself upright. 

Hakkai rushed to his side. "Goku! Are you alright?"

The young man waved him off. "I'll be fine in a minute. Sanzo's hurt."

The monk was indeed hurt, but not badly. The shallow slash on his arm had already stopped bleeding, and he barely tolerated Hakkai examining it. "Sanzo, this isn't bad at all. It will only take me a moment to heal it."

Sanzo shrugged his arm from Hakkai's grasp. "It's fine." The monk turned to Goku. "Dumbass saru. Didn't we tell you not to use your ki in a fight?"

Goku was leaning over, hands on his knees, but at this reproach he looked up. "I didn't do it on purpose. It just kind of happened."

Sanzo's voice was angry. "If you can't control yourself, we'll leave you behind."

Goku gaped at him, chagrin evident in his face. Gojyo opened his mouth to try and ease Sanzo's harsh words, but stopped as a change came over Goku. The young man took a deep breath and stood up straight. His face was now set in stubborn lines, and his golden eyes flashed defiance. A few confident steps took him to Sanzo's side, and he leaned in, inches from the monk's face.

His voice was quiet but firm. "Just try it, Sanzo." He clamped his hand over the wound on Sanzo's arm, and the man flinched. Green light flashed, and when Goku withdrew his hand a few seconds later, there was no trace of an injury. Goku turned without a word and stomped over to the jeep, slinging himself over the side and into his seat. 

Gojyo watched him go, then turned to see his own surprise mirrored on Hakkai's face. He drew the back of his hand across his forehead, checking for warmth and wondering whether he had just hallucinated Goku standing up to Sanzo. Gojyo couldn't stop the smile creeping across his face. The saru really was growing up! He wiped the grin off quickly as Sanzo finally turned. Expecting to see anger contorting the monk's face into a scowl, Gojyo was taken aback by the total lack of expression. It was as if the man was carved from stone. Sanzo walked between Hakkai and Gojyo and took his seat. They quickly followed him, and their journey was resumed with no comment about what had happened.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

They reached their destination without further incident. Goku had kept to himself, and Gojyo hadn't felt like bothering the boy. The town was a large one, and Sanzo insisted they stay near the edge in an attempt at discretion. He made it very clear that he was in no mood to deal with idiots, as he did enough of that with the three of them. No one attempted to argue with him; it was all the same to them.

It was dinnertime, so they headed into the restaurant before checking in. The meal was a quiet affair. Goku wasn't inclined to argue, even when Gojyo stole a dumpling from his plate. The boy frowned, but cast a glance at Sanzo and said nothing. Gojyo wondered if he was thinking about their exchange after the fight. He was still surprised that Sanzo hadn't seemed angry. He didn't seem angry now either. For the first time in days, Sanzo was acting more or less normally. Gojyo decided it was time for the two to settle things between them. But how? 

As they were all getting up, the half-youkai glanced towards a back room, the dark doorway barely visible in the evening light. A bar! Perfect. Slinging an arm across Sanzo's shoulders, he steered him to the door. "It's still early, let's have a drink!"

Sanzo shoved his arm away, but followed Gojyo through the doorway, Hakkai and Goku right behind him. As his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, Gojyo noticed a pool table as well as the bar. The room was deserted, the only occupant standing behind the bar wiping down glasses. The man looked up as they entered, and Gojyo called out to him. "Three beers and a double sake. Put them on the monk's tab."

Goku sputtered behind him. "Three? You're letting me have a beer?"

"No," Sanzo spoke before Gojyo could. "You're not old enough."

Taking the drinks from the bar, Gojyo passed Hakkai the sake, then distributed the beers to himself, Sanzo and Goku. "Come on. He's way past old enough. Let the kid have one beer. It won't kill him."

"You're carrying his drunk ass to bed," Sanzo muttered, but he didn't move to take the beer from Goku.

Gojyo took a drink, lit a cigarette, then searched the walls. Finding what he was looking for, he pulled two pool cues down and tossed one to Sanzo. 

The monk caught it and made an irritated noise. "What makes you think I want to play pool with you?" Despite his words, he was already racking up the pool balls.

Gojyo grinned. "All right. Let's play."

Hakkai and Goku moved to a table against the wall, leaving plenty of room for the players. Gojyo kept to their side of the table as much as he could, knowing that Hakkai would take the opportunity to talk to Goku and wanting to hear the exchange.

"Goku, how are you feeling?" Hakkai asked almost immediately, concern evident in his voice.

"I'm doing good. A little tired, but not bad."

"Don't feel bad about what Sanzo said today. He didn't really mean it."

Goku was silent for a moment, and when he did respond, Gojyo had to lean in their direction a little to hear it. "But what if he did? Am I really that much of an annoyance to him that he could just go on without me?"

Gojyo was glad he wasn't the one having to answer _that_ question. Hakkai took it in stride. "Goku, it was just Sanzo being Sanzo. He worries about all of us, but isn't comfortable showing it. If he really didn't need you, he would have left you behind years ago." Hakkai paused, then continued. "This new display of power from you is… kind of scary. None of us want to see you get hurt, that's why I suggested you not use your ki in battle yet."

Sanzo came around their side of the table then, and Goku wisely kept silent. Gojyo took the opportunity to grab another beer for himself and Sanzo, and lit another cigarette. Looking at the pool table, he cursed to himself when he realized his distraction was costing him the game.

When Sanzo was a safe distance away, Goku blurted out, "I'm sorry, Hakkai. I didn't mean to, really! It was just, when I heard Sanzo cry out, I needed to do something fast. It felt… natural. I wasn't thinking about using my ki, it just kind of came out." 

"Well, that's both a good thing and a bad thing. You shouldn't have to think too hard about using your ki, or you could be distracted during battle. On the other hand, you should always be in control of it. Not having control could be very dangerous." 

Gojyo casually looked in their direction, and saw that Goku was giving serious thought to what Hakkai had just said. The young man was fiddling with his half empty beer, and a red flush creeping into his cheeks told Gojyo that his inexperienced friend was starting to feel the effects of it. "Hakkai, it didn't feel like I was out of control. I used just what I needed to in order to get rid of the immediate problem."

Hakkai glanced at Gojyo over Goku's head, and Gojyo gave him a slow nod to show he had heard. The weird thing was, the kid was right. They all – well at least he and Hakkai – would have felt it if Goku had let out a random blast. The amount of ki used was just enough to kill those in front of him. How Goku had done it so perfectly was a mystery. He shouldn't have _had_ that much control with the little training he had been given. He seemed to be acting on… instinct. 

Hakkai's next statement confirmed that he had come to this conclusion as well. "Most people have to have years of training to gain that kind of control over their ki. You seem to use it entirely by instinct. You still have to be careful though."

Gojyo started when Sanzo slammed his empty beer mug on the table edge next to him. "Damn it, either pay attention to the game or I'm going to bed."

"Fuck, you don't have to be so dramatic about it," Gojyo muttered. Seeing Sanzo headed up to the bar, he called, "Hey, get me another beer, too, would ya?"

"Whatever," Sanzo growled, but he did as requested. 

Gojyo lined up a shot and sunk his ball. He moved to view the table from a better angle, and realized there wasn't much chance of his winning this game. He put some effort into it anyway, and sunk three more balls before missing. When he got back around to Goku and Hakkai, they had finished their conversation and were watching them play the game. Gojyo didn't miss how Goku's eyes followed Sanzo's every move.

Three more beers and half a pack of cigarettes later, the game was finally over. Gojyo was feeling pretty good, even though he had lost, and Sanzo's flushed face told the same story. Goku had finally finished his beer, and was looking sleepy. They headed for the front desk to make arrangements for the night. No single rooms were available, so they got two doubles across the hall from each other. 

Gojyo exchanged glances with Hakkai and pulled the man aside. "Hakkai, share a room with me tonight."

Hakkai cast a glance in the direction of their friends. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"It's been four days. They can't avoid each other forever."

Hakkai was not convinced, but agreed reluctantly.

As they walked up to their rooms, Gojyo deftly snagged one of the keys from Sanzo, grabbing Hakkai's arm with his other hand. "Bright and early, right? See you in the morning." Moving quickly, he pulled Hakkai into the room and shut the door, leaving Sanzo and Goku staring after him.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

A/N:

I just couldn't wait any longer to post this. I'm excited to see what you all think. 

WOO HOO! We hit over 150 reviews! The number of readers enjoying this is just growing, and I'm thankful for you all. Your excitement makes it all worthwhile. Hmmm… we had cake before, what should we have this time? I know! *hands out chocolate chip cheesecake to all the wonderful reviewers and readers* Can you tell I'm a chocolate freak?

Pervasive Threnody: I'm happy you like Goku. I think he is so much more than what you see most of the time. He's such a mystery, there is no end to the possibilities!

ethereal-tenshi: I have seen it spelled Qi, Ki, and Chi, so I went with the spelling I had seen some of my favorite authors use. Sorry if it's incorrect. Glad you liked Goku's new abilities, and hope you enjoyed seeing it again here.

Me-Nuriko: I'm sorry ff.net is being such a pain. I know you weren't sure this had gotten through, and I got your message from our friend as well. Hopefully you will get an author alert this time. Glad you think this is interesting, I've had a lot of fun exploring the possibilities. I hope you keep liking it!

dream_eater: Yeah, he was showing off for Sanzo. Who wouldn't, especially with that kind of power?

Nozomi Anshin: Good, I'm glad. Let me know if I get off track. I wouldn't want to be on Goku's bad side either!

Eclipse45: You always leave such long and detailed reviews, thank you so much! There are quite a few chapters to go, though we have passed the middle of the fic. Yumm, more chocolates! With these and my Dt. Mountain Dew, I'm good for a few more all-nighters!

Koinu-Chan: Thanks! Hope this was soon enough.

yoyo: Yeah, he is pretty great, isn't he? I'd love to have one of those flags if you have any extra!

bleedformeee: I hope you got an email this time. It seems that none of the stories posted last Saturday had emails sent out. Blah. I'm happy you liked the chapter, hope you like this one as well. Goku is just awesome when he wants to be. And I love you for reading and commenting on my fic!

Merf: More 39ness at the beginning of this chapter. Things are starting to come together for them. I know Goku using ki isn't canon, but I don't see why it couldn't be possible, and it's tons of fun! Isn't that what fan ficcing is for?

mabaroshi16: Yeah, a polite Sanzo is pretty scary, isn't he? His true colors show through pretty quick though. He's much more squeezable when he's angry or angsty. *drools over angsty Sanzo-sama*

Forsaken^On3: Gojyo is way more fun than I thought he would be. Hope you enjoyed this chappie from his POV. 

Bakasaru Boi: Of course you get a hug. Here's another *Biiiig hug* Can't wait to see what you think of this chapter.

Nikki: This is my favorite pairing as well. I just can't see these two with anyone else! They are perfect for each other. Thanks for letting me know you think I'm keeping them IC. I need my readers to let me know when I'm slipping up.

Genki-Saru: Thanks! Don't worry, he's fine. I can't hurt him too badly, or Sanzo will be pissed!

dragon keeper: After all this work I'm going to so Goku can be with Sanzo, and he lets you borrow Nyoi-bou to threaten me with? That's not very nice of him! He should know better than to threaten the girl behind the keyboard. J I'm glad you are enjoying this!

kitsune-oni: I've tried to be as realistic as possible, so I'm glad you think I'm succeeding. I like that line as well, just makes all kind of naughty mental pictures, doesn't it?

SonGokuu: I've debated the whole 58 thing, and I finally decided that I wanted to stick to 39, sorry. But who knows, as this gets closer to done and I decide I don't want the fun to end, I may change my mind.

Mitsko: You aren't. I've had lots of time to write recently, and sometimes it's a pain for me to wait to post a chapter I'm excited about. But I'd rather have regular updates evenly spaced than leave everyone hanging for a long time. I hope you all agree with me.

Sanza-chan: Thank you! I appreciate your great comments. I try my best.

gallatica: *hugs back* More chocolates! You guys are going to make me fat! ;-) I didn't want to go with a golden glow because that's what color Sanzo's 'divine power' is when he limits Seiten Taisei. Plus I've always identified gold more with Sanzo than Goku, despite his golden eyes. I'm not really sure why I went with green. Oh wait, that's my favorite color. That would probably be why. I wrote the first part of this chapter with you in mind, I hope you liked it!

Klee5: Thanks! I run into the best authors and stories just by taking a look at who my reviewers are. You see why I requested more SanzoxGoku in your story! I just can't get enough of them.

Celeste1: Thanks! 


	10. Pulse Points and Tight Shirts

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 10: Pulse Points and Tight Shirts

* * *

Sanzo stared at the closed door. What the hell was that all about? Gojyo had seemed in a real hurry to get away from them, practically yanking Hakkai inside, leaving him and Goku… oh. Shit. Sanzo looked down at the young man next to him, who was still staring at the door in confusion. He knew, he just knew, that Gojyo had done this on purpose. Sanzo sighed to himself and tried to ignore the slight feelings of panic beginning in his stomach. "Come on, Goku," he growled. 

Goku looked up at him, then blinked, apparently just realizing what this would mean. "Umm… okay."

Sanzo turned to the other door and strode inside, not looking back to see if the saru was following. He sat down on the windowsill and drew out a cigarette. It wasn't that he didn't want Goku near him, it was just… they hadn't really been alone since that night. The object of his thoughts had followed him into the room, quietly shutting the door. He had taken off his cape and shoulder armor and was now seated on the bed opposite in his t-shirt and jeans, fidgeting. His face was still slightly flushed from the beer, and Sanzo could feel faint heat in his own cheeks as well.

So he was to be locked in a room all night with the saru, both of them tipsy. If he wasn't so uncomfortable, the situation might actually be funny. As it was, Sanzo felt increasingly trapped. Looking for escape, he leaned forward and pushed the window open. The sound drew Goku's attention, and when Sanzo looked back towards the young man, he found Goku's golden eyes fixed on himself. He couldn't help the shiver that ran through him under that intent gaze.

They stared at each other for a moment, each unable to look away. Goku got up slowly from the bed, stumbling only slightly, and advanced on him. The younger man lightly brushed a warm hand down his exposed shoulder. Every point of skin his hand touched erupted into flames. Unnerved by his own reaction, Sanzo removed Goku's hand from his shoulder. At Goku's fleeting look of disappointment, Sanzo felt compelled – perhaps by the alcoholic haze – to bring the hand up to his mouth and press his lips to Goku's palm. The young man's fingers interlaced with his and squeezed slightly. Sanzo looked into Goku's eyes shining with tenderness. Though he was uncertain, he didn't move away when the younger man leaned in and kissed him.

Sanzo felt as though his head was caught in a whirlwind. He wanted this, and he recognized that he wanted it; but he also knew he shouldn't let it happen. Despite his confession to Hakkai that he cared for Goku, it still didn't feel right. Goku wasn't thinking straight – hell, _he_ wasn't thinking straight! – and he didn't want to take advantage of the young man any more than he already had. Hakkai's words rang in his head; _'__How are you taking advantage of something he's obviously willing to give?'_ Goku certainly wasn't complaining right now. He was kissing Sanzo with an intensity that was making it hard to think. 

Sanzo broke away, breathing heavily, wanting space and time to think things through. Goku almost fell forward at his movement, and Sanzo unconsciously put out a hand to steady him. Feeling the smooth muscle under his palm wasn't helping his thought process at all. He needed to get out of here, or get Goku out, at least for a few minutes. 

"Goku." The young man looked up from his study of the hand against his chest. "Get me..." – he couldn't ask for a beer, he'd already had enough for tonight – "a glass of water."

The surprise reflected in the golden eyes wasn't unexpected. Goku didn't argue though, just moved away from him and headed towards the door. Knowing he would need more time than that, Sanzo desperately tried to think of something else to stall him. "And… could you bring me..." – _'think, damn it!' – _ "another pack of cigarettes. Make sure you leave a note saying you took them." There, that should stall the boy for a little while. He would have to go down to the kitchen store, find the cigarettes, find paper for a note, then all the way back up to their room. Goku glanced at the still mostly full pack he had laid on the windowsill, but didn't say anything. 

As the door closed behind Goku, Sanzo let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. He reached for a cigarette and scowled at his shaking hands. Willing them to stop shaking, he lit his cigarette. The smoke invading his lungs gave him a heady feeling as the nicotine mixed with the alcohol. At least it helped clear his head. Knowing he didn't have much time, Sanzo tried to think about what he would do when Goku came back. Could he allow himself to return the feelings freely given to him? And if he couldn't, was it fair to Goku to let this continue? He shook his head. No, it wasn't fair to either of them. So how did he really feel? Again, he heard Hakkai's voice: _'What good will come out of denying yourself?'_ What good would he lose by denying himself? The loyalty and love of the only person who ever made him believe he could care again?

But what about… his heart lurched. What about the pain he had felt – still felt – at losing his master? The fear underlying all his concerns struck him again. As much as Goku said it aloud, it was true for himself as well. He didn't want to be alone again. He had been alone for so long, and though he would never admit it to the others, he couldn't face the idea of going back to that. What if he allowed these feelings to grow and something happened to Goku? What if he didn't allow it, and that same something happened? Would he really be any less devastated at his loss? He already cared about the young youkai, it was too late to do anything about that. So was his reticence only costing him future happiness?

* * *

When Goku pushed the door open and came in, a glass in one hand and cigarettes in the other, Sanzo felt composed enough to face him again. He quirked an eyebrow when he noticed a whole carton of Marlboro Reds instead of just the pack he had requested. Goku brought him the water and cigarettes, a slight smile on his face, startlingly mature compared to his normal goofy grin. It reminded Sanzo of the smile Goku had given him when the young man had grabbed his hand on the stairs two nights ago, a smile that reached into his eyes and brought out his true years. Sanzo was glad to see there was no sadness in those eyes. Even after 500 years locked away, alone, the ageless youkai held no bitterness in him. He was still pure and innocent, unmarred by the grief he had experienced. Sanzo felt a longing grow in himself for this oldest of youths. 

Taking the glass, Sanzo set it aside, then turned back for the cigarettes. Goku held onto the carton for a moment, letting his fingers linger on Sanzo's longer than needed, and the simple touch sent tingles up the monk's spine. Sanzo couldn't explain this draw he had towards his younger charge, but he knew it had always been there. All he had to do was accept it for it to grow. Nagging uncertainties filled the back of his mind, growing into an intense headache.

Sanzo stood up from the windowsill, but Goku didn't step back. They were so close that he could feel Goku's warm breath on his skin. The shorter man looked up at him, gentle smile still in place, and his eyes told Sanzo that it was his move. He hesitated for a moment despite his desire, uncertain what to do. Goku's closeness was distracting, so he stepped away from him, grabbing his cigarettes and sitting down at the table. In the quiet of the room, the sound of his lighter was loud, and every breath he took echoed in his ears. Listening for movement from the boy behind him, he heard nothing, so was taken by surprise when he suddenly felt Goku next to him. The youkai pressed close to Sanzo's side, laying an arm across his neck and shoulders, and wrapping the other around his head, fingers tangled in his golden bangs. Goku pulled Sanzo's head against his chest and laid his chin atop it, placing a light kiss there. At the first movement Sanzo had tensed, but the comforting gesture made him relax a little. He knew that if he didn't want to send Goku the wrong signals he should break away, but he didn't. 

Goku moved first, dropping his arms and backing up slightly. Sanzo felt relieved when the young man backed away, but suddenly Goku was in his lap, legs on either side of the chair, straddling him. The position heated his alcohol-enhanced blood again, and it didn't help when the young man leaned forward and gave him a soul-searing kiss. Sanzo put his hands on Goku's shoulders to push him away, but Goku shoved them away and laid his head on Sanzo's shoulder, kissing his neck lightly. Curious and unable to fight, Sanzo burrowed his nose in the soft chocolate-brown hair, inhaling deeply. Goku smelled faintly of smoke – his smoke – mixed with sweat and the dust from their day's journey. It gave him an earthy smell that fit him perfectly. He felt the young man's arms encircle his shoulders, hands running over his neck. His already flushed skin grew still warmer at the touch, and he turned his head, lips finding the pulse point under Goku's jaw. The heartbeat there was strong and fast, and as Sanzo drew his tongue down, he felt it speed up even more. The pulse seemed to fill his whole body as Goku tilted his head back, and his own heartbeat stuttered until the beats matched. 

The taste of sweat on Goku's skin was intoxicating, and Sanzo's mouth progressed up to nip at his ear. Goku let out a throaty moan, hands gripping Sanzo tightly. The monk caressed the young man's neck, holding him still. He rubbed gentle circles at the base of Goku's skull, causing him to drop his head back even farther, exposing a graceful curve from jaw to collar. He took his time, kissing every exposed inch of flesh until he hit the neckline of Goku's shirt. Sanzo pushed it aside and traced the prominent collarbones with his tongue. Goku gasped into his ear, and suddenly Sanzo's mind caught up to what his body was doing. He stiffened, opening his arms, and Goku, who had been leaning against them, tumbled to the floor. 

As the younger man gaped up at him, Sanzo got to his feet. Angered at himself, he whipped out his fan and smacked Goku soundly over the head.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?"

"For…" For what? For being desirable? For loving? "For tempting me." It was a lame answer, and he knew it.

Goku sputtered, unable to express himself coherently, until Sanzo brandished the fan again. Not wanting another blow, the young man fell silent, but crossed his arms and twisted his face into a scowl. The look was so out of place on his boyish face that Sanzo had to turn away to hide an amused smirk. He grabbed his cigarettes on his way back to the window. He seized the forgotten glass of water and drank it, relishing its coolness. The window was still open, and he leaned out to allow the cool night breeze to cool his face. Sanzo closed his eyes. This situation wasn't getting any easier. He shouldn't have had so many beers, and he cursed Gojyo for suggesting it. The alcohol was confusing him, making it hard to do what he knew he should. 

On hearing movement behind him, Sanzo straightened, but Goku's arms around his waist prevented him from turning around. The young man laid his cheek on Sanzo's shoulder, face turned away, silky hair brushing his cheek. In the reflection of the glass, Sanzo could see them both, images slightly distorted. Growing frustration began to eat at him, and he scowled at himself, destroying the peaceful picture the window displayed. His conflicting desires and logic were making his head throb. He was tired of his uncertainty standing in the way of his duty to both his charge and himself. The fact that he didn't know what that duty was didn't escape him.

The headache eating away at what little rational thought he had, Sanzo shoved Goku's arms away and turned around, sitting down on the windowsill. The pack still in his hand, he pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. He patted his pockets, looking for his lighter. He glanced around the room, finally seeing the missing object lying on the table. 

When he stood up to get it, Goku laid a hand on his arm. "I'll get it."

Sanzo watched as Goku walked to the table. He realized it had been a while since he had looked – _really_ looked – at Goku. While he still appeared younger than his assumed age, much less his true age, the boy was a boy no longer. He moved with catlike grace, long limbs held in constant readiness. His shirt clung to his broad shoulders and outlined the firm muscles of his back. Sanzo hadn't noticed it before, but with the cape and armor out of the way, it was obvious that the young man needed a new shirt. And new pants as well. They clung to his body like a second skin, showing off well-muscled legs. It wasn't that Sanzo hadn't noticed the young ladies in recent towns paying extra attention to their group, but he had assumed it was due to Gojyo and his playboy attitude. Now he wondered if that was really the case. Sanzo was disgusted at himself. How could he act properly towards Goku when just watching the young man move was turning him on again? 

The lean warrior snagged the lighter off the table and made his way back to Sanzo's side. He held out the object, and Sanzo reached for it, but Goku drew it back at the last moment, and the older man's hand closed on empty air. Scowling at the young man, Sanzo reached out and snatched the lighter. He lit his cigarette, making sure to secure the damn thing in his pocket this time. When he looked up again, Goku was closer, uncertainty and doubt coloring his features. Sanzo turned away, uncomfortable at their close proximity.

"Sanzo?" Goku's voice broke into his thoughts.

Sanzo's eyes flicked back to Goku's face, and the youkai continued. "Are you okay?"

Sanzo sighed. How in the hell was he supposed to answer that question? He decided on an obvious answer, ignoring the deeper realities. "Just a headache."

"Oh." The young man looked away, then back again. He reached out a tentative hand towards Sanzo's head, and Sanzo flinched away from the touch. He expected Goku to back away, but instead the boy reached out more forcefully and pressed his hand on Sanzo's forehead, thumb and ring finger on his temples. Sanzo was oddly reminded of himself restoring Goku's limiter in the desert. The similarity was further enforced when Goku's hand began to glow green, and Sanzo almost expected to feel a band of metal circling his head. Instead, he found the headache lessening, then dispersing entirely. As the glow faded, Goku removed his hand, then finally backed away. The look on his face took Sanzo by surprise. He could see the same determination and resolve that had appeared after their last battle, when Goku had stood up to him. The look would have been out of place on the boy, but it wasn't on the man. 

Something stirred inside Sanzo as he watched Goku. His physical desire was still strong, but this was more than that. This… man… in front of him radiated strength and confidence. Sanzo was filled with the impulse to touch him, to share something with him, and he stretched out a curious hand towards Goku's face. 

Before he even saw it move, a hand was gripping his wrist. "No." The voice was gentle but firm.

Sanzo was surprised, and it showed in his voice. "What?"

"Just… no." Goku pushed Sanzo's hand away, then let go of his wrist. 

He wanted to be angry, but his curiosity about this stranger overwhelmed his anger. "Why?"

Goku walked over to the bed and sat down before answering. "Because this isn't what you want. Or at least, you don't know if it is."

Sanzo couldn't deny the truth, but rather than acknowledge that Goku was right, his belligerent nature took over. "And what makes you suppose you know what I want?"

The unusual maturity still evident, Goku quirked an eyebrow at him. The action startled Sanzo; it was his own expression reflected back at him. "Maybe because my ass still hurts from when you dumped me on the floor?"

If Sanzo had been the type to laugh, he might have. As it was, he had to fight down an amused smirk. Goku saw it, and smiled slightly in response. There was silence for a moment, and Goku looked away before speaking. "Don't think I don't want you, Sanzo. I do." The young man looked up and caught Sanzo's eyes before continuing. "I've wanted you for a long time. But not like this."

He thought he understood, but asked anyway. "Like what?"

"With you uncertain." Goku stood up and walked back to him. Sanzo watched him come, and saw the look in his eyes, so was only partially surprised when the young man laid a hand on his cheek. The hand was trembling. This stranger may act confident, but he was still Goku. The thought was comforting. "Sanzo, I…I love you. I have for a long time. I don't want this to be just a casual thing to you. I want you to be with me because you love me back, not because we've both had too much to drink."

He knew. He wasn't blind to the way Goku looked at him. But hearing it said was like a physical blow, and his chest ached. Sanzo struggled to breath normally, to calm his racing heart. Grasping desperately at his composure, he slipped back into a familiar mask. Pulling away from Goku's hand, he said coldly, "You ask too much of me." 

Goku was unfazed by his retreat. When had he become so strong? "I know. That's why I want you to be sure it's what you really want. I don't want things to be uncomfortable between us. I can't deal with that, it hurts too much."

Sanzo understood. The discomfort that had plagued him after that night was not something he cared to repeat either. 

"So you understand? I want this, Sanzo, I want _you_, but I can wait until you decide if you want me."

Sanzo felt an unexpected wave of relief spread over him. He still didn't know what he wanted, but the young man's honesty and maturity freed him. Maybe allowing himself to love Goku would be okay. "Thank you," he said simply, truly meaning it.

Goku gave him a little grin, though Sanzo could tell it took some effort. "Anything for my sun."

He scowled at the boy for his impertinence, but Goku just laughed. "I'm going outside for some air. Want to come with?" The tone of his voice suggested that he was asking out of courtesy, not out of any true desire for company. 

Sanzo shook his head, then replied with his usual, "Do what you want."

Goku headed out, waving a hand in farewell before shutting the door behind him. Sanzo adjusted to a more comfortable position on the windowsill and lit a cigarette. Knowing Goku wouldn't press was a relief, but he knew he would be spending a lot of time thinking about the young man. He closed his eyes as he smoked, and worked on clearing his mind. By the time he had finished the cigarette, he was tired and sleepy. After settling into bed he drifted into the best sleep he'd had in days.

* * *

Goku shut the door behind him and placed a hand on the wall to steady himself. It was only the presence of his companions in the room across the hall that stopped him from collapsing right here. He staggered down the stairs and out the door, making sure to stay away from the side of the building their window was on. He didn't want Sanzo to see him right now. He finally found a stone bench in the garden outside and collapsed gratefully onto it. His whole body was shaking. He had fought hundreds of demons and defeated the most fearsome enemies, but what he had just done was the hardest thing he had ever had to do. 

Confessing his love to Sanzo hadn't been his original intention, but he had needed to make sure the man understood, and it seemed that he did. As he got his shaking limbs back under his control, Goku began to feel better. He had done the right thing, he was sure of it. He silently thanked Gojyo for his advice the other night and resolved to be nicer to the kappa in the future.

Goku looked up at the stars and marveled at the sight of all those little lights winking at him. Each star was beautiful in its own right, and all together they were breathtaking. His thinking strayed to his friends: Hakkai, the ever present mother figure, always there to console him when he felt bad or calm Sanzo down when his irritation threatened to become deadly; Gojyo, the big brother, ready to fight or tease at a moments notice, but also there to provide comfort when least expected; Sanzo, their unofficial leader, beautiful and charismatic, fatally accurate with his gun and fan, but unexpected deliverer of a kind gesture when it was needed most; and himself. What was he? The child, the little brother, the errant charge? He wasn't sure what role he played, but he knew he wouldn't have it any other way. His place was here, as part of the four.

Finally feeling calm, Goku walked slowly back to his room. He moved silently, and was relieved to hear the even breathing that told him Sanzo was asleep. Quietly slipping off his boots, he padded over to look at the monk. His face was relaxed in easy sleep, enhancing his delicate beauty. Goku remembered when he had thought he wouldn't have another chance to gaze at Sanzo like this, and smiled at the realization that he had been wrong. Taking one last look to memorize that beautiful face, he slipped into his bed and drifted off into happy dreams.

* * *

A/N: 

Those of you who have me on your author alert list will notice that I posted this twice. For some reason, the new QuickEdit feature of ff.net removes the stars I'm so fond of. I didn't notice it until after work tonight, so I wanted to put in some kind of a break between sections. The line isn't my favorite, but it works for now. Unfortunately this works for the stars that indicate action as well, so when reading the comments below, please note that anything in italics is action. I'll have to come up with something it will accept for the next chapter. Blah. Sorry about the mess.

If any of you are in the Chicago-land area, I'm going to be at ACEN on May 14th – 16th. I can't wait, it's going to be great. The voice actors for Goku and Kougaiji are both going to be there, and I'm definitely going to go hear them talk. If you're going to be there, drop me a line and I'll keep an eye out for you! I'm always up for meeting another Saiyuki fan! Don't worry, I won't be skipping a week on posting, I'll just post before I go. 

I can't believe how many new people have joined us for this little journey. Welcome to all of you, I hope you enjoy the ride! And those of you who have been with me from the beginning, you have no idea how much I appreciate each and every one of you. I love you all!

I realized that I didn't thank stitcher2ficcer in my last chapter, so I want to make sure I do here. Thanks, for everything you have done for me! 

Pervasive Threnody: Okay, so it's not really bottled in now as much as put on hold. Hope this little taste didn't disappoint.

Eclipse45: You're right, soda does taste better in a wine glass. The nicer the glass, the better the taste. It's funny like that! I really appreciate your long and detailed comments! I like knowing exactly what you liked about a chapter. I'm also saddened by the fact that we are getting closer to the end. I have enjoyed this so much, I don't want it to stop!

Bleedformeee: I know I'm a meanie, sorry! I suppose this chapter really wasn't that much of a relief either, was it? I hope you still love me!

dreameater: I have to admit, your review made me crack up! You might want to save some of those hugs, he's going to need them later.

Nozomi Anshin: Here you go, hope it didn't disappoint.

Koinu-Chan: I'm not sure about in the Journey to the West, but in the anime I haven't really seen Goku drink much. In fact, other than the drinking contest in the manga where he is the first to pass out, I don't remember seeing him drink at all. So I've gone with the idea that because of that he is a bit of a lightweight. I'm glad you are enjoying the story.

Iapetus: I've already talked to you about the pool game thing, but I'm really glad you liked it. It's one of my favorites as well. Gojyo and Sanzo are so sexy playing pool! I hope after this chapter you still think I'm doing a good job with their relationship. What is it they say, 'the road to true love never does run smooth'? It's true for them as well. Every time I get a review, I have to go look up what the reviewer has written, and I've found not only some great Saiyuki fics, but also some great InuYasha, Trigun, and Witch Hunter Robin ones as well. I'm a cheesecake freak as well. They just opened up a Cheesecake Factory down here, and I think I've tried half their selections!

ForsakenOn3: So many chocoholics here! Glad you're another admitted one! Here's some action for you, but not quite what I think people were expecting. Please don't hate me!

Me-Nuriko: Yeah, I got your review as a review alert. Don't know why it doesn't show up. My count on the stats is off too, it doesn't match what you see when you look at the story. Weird, huh? I've heard some really good things about the story you are working on. I can't wait to see it! I don't normally write this quickly, but I've been on a roll with this story. It's almost like it's writing itself. (Not really, I still struggle once in a while. Such is the life of an author, right?)

Sanza-chan: Thanks for the compliment, it's something I work really hard at. The best stories are ones you can see as if they were an episode. 

Mitsko: As soon as I saw your review, I rushed out and found the second volume. Now all I have to do is make it to the 11th, when the next DVD comes out. It has episode 39 on it, one of my absolute favorites, and a great SanzoxGoku episode!

Nikole StarGazer: Thanks! I love your last name. I always like to have my readers squeal at my writing, it's a sign they are enjoying themselves!

Crimson1: Yeah, double rooms have such great possibilities. I love writing Goku like this, he's so much fun!

Bakasaru Boi: **_two big hugs_** It's okay, you can throw a tantrum. I don't think it's the only one you will be throwing before we get to the end. But I don't want to say too much. I'm glad you like the dialogue, it's fun to see what they are going to say next. These guys can be so unpredictable!

Dragon keeper: I'm glad there was a catch! I didn't really want to be beaten with Nyoi-bou. Watch out with that sword. I have my own and I know how to use it! **_Stands in defensive posture_** And I have a shield too! **_Holds up small red shield_** See?

Nikki: Ohh, brownie cheesecake! How can I resist? I'm glad you are enjoying, hope this chapter didn't disappoint. **_Goes off to eat delicious cheesecake_**

Klee5: I think as Goku grows up, especially in a tense situation like that, he is going to be less apt to take Sanzo's abuse. Poor Sanzo, he has quite the character on his hands! I appreciate your glowing comments on the nature scene. I had a lot of fun writing it. 

KazeShinai: I agree with you, I can't get enough of this pairing. They are just wonderful together! I'm happy to have you along on this crazy ride!

SuGaR aNiMe FrEaK: LOL. You're funny! And thanks for the high rating, I'm really happy you are enjoying it so much!

Jennavive Craindre: Thanks! Here you go.


	11. Trouble Awakens

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 11: Trouble Awakens 

* * *

Hakkai opened his eyes as the first hints of daylight crept over the horizon. He yawned and sat up, stretching his arms above his head. It was going to be a good morning, he told himself, whether the others liked it or not. He got up and glanced at his roommate, who was snoring softly, hair spread out over his pillow like a red river. Hakkai smiled at him and headed to the bathroom to get dressed. Coming back, he took a minute to pack his things, then shook Gojyo's shoulder gently. "Gojyo, time to get up."

The half-breed opened his eyes slowly and looked up at him. Blinking the sleep away, he glanced towards the window. "Damn, Hakkai. The sun isn't even up yet. Stupid monk doesn't know the sacrifices I have to put up with on this mad journey to hell."

Hakkai laughed and stepped back to give him room. "Don't let him hear you say that unless you don't like living."

Gojyo grinned at him and stood up, grabbing his clothes and heading to the bathroom. "You going to wake up the monk and his monkey, or do you want me to?"

"I think you did enough damage putting them in the same room together. I'll take care of it. You might want to watch it this morning. I'm sure Sanzo realizes you did that on purpose."

Gojyo's grin widened. "Yeah, yeah. I'll be good."

Hakkai smiled as he walked across the hallway. He could hear Goku snoring through the thin door, but knew Sanzo was probably awake already, so he knocked lightly. He waited until he heard Sanzo call for him to enter, then did. Goku was still asleep, arms and legs stretched out into a position that no one but him could sleep in. Sanzo was seated in the windowsill, robes already on and a cigarette in his hand. He did not remove his gaze from the window, but something in his posture made Hakkai pause. Sanzo radiated tranquility, which was totally opposite from his normal morning attitude.

"Good morning, Sanzo." 

Finally looking at him, Sanzo replied, "What's so good about it?" His words were part of their regular morning routine, but this time there was no bite to them. They were calm, as was his expression. Hakkai was taken aback, but made sure not to show it.

"It's a beautiful day, and we're still alive. Isn't that enough?"

"Ch'," Sanzo replied, then extinguished his cigarette and stood up. Striding over to the bed, he grabbed Goku's shoulder and shook him roughly. "Wake up, saru."

Goku went from dead asleep to wide awake faster than Hakkai had ever seen. Seeing who had woken him, he flashed a brilliant smile. "Good morning!" Sanzo let go of the boy's shoulder, but not before giving it a little squeeze that did not escape Hakkai's notice. Sitting up and seeing Hakkai in the room, Goku greeted him as well. "Morning, Hakkai!"

Hakkai smiled at the young man's cheerfulness. "Good morning, Goku. Are you ready for breakfast?"

This got an immediate reaction. "Oh yeah! I'm hungry!" He made a dash for the door, but Sanzo grabbed him by the back of his shirt.

"Get dressed and pack your stuff first, stupid monkey."

Goku complained a little, mumbling "Don't call me a monkey," but when Sanzo's hand moved in the direction of his fan, he grabbed his stuff and took off, muttering "I'm going, I'm going."

Sanzo shook his head at Goku's retreating back. "Damn monkey."

"I heard that! Don't call me that!" Goku yelled as he disappeared into the bathroom.

Hakkai could not hold back a chuckle at the interaction. Sanzo shot him a glare and he wisely decided it was time to retreat. "I'll grab Gojyo and we'll meet you downstairs." Not waiting for an answer, he walked out and shut the door behind him. Still chuckling, he entered his room to find Gojyo waiting for him, dressed and packed. Hakkai grabbed his bag and gestured towards the door. "We're meeting them in the restaurant. Ready?" Gojyo nodded, and they walked downstairs talking about nothing in particular.

They headed out after a quick breakfast, both Gojyo and Goku sporting new lumps on their heads after complaining about being rushed. The two were huddled together in the back of the jeep, muttering to each other and rubbing the sore spots. The muttering got louder until Sanzo turned around and pointed his gun at them. They shut up immediately and sat back, pictures of innocence. Sanzo eyed them suspiciously for a moment, then finally turned back around and tucked his weapon away. There was silence for a short while, but Hakkai knew it would not last.

"Ne, Hakkai?" Goku leaned forward and looked at him. Sanzo reached for his fan, but did not pull it out yet. Noticing the movement, Goku shrank towards Hakkai before continuing. "How far to the next town?" Sanzo relaxed, and Hakkai knew he had been expecting a declaration of hunger.

"Not too far. We should hit one around lunch time, then there will be another where we can stop for the night."

"Good." Gojyo put in. "One less night in the wild."

Goku took advantage of the chance to tease his friend. "Oh, is the cockroach afraid of lions and tigers and bears?"

Said cockroach took offense and pinned Goku in a headlock. "The only one to be afraid of is me, monkey."

Goku struggled, shouting "Don't call me that, water sprite," but his struggling was in vain. Gojyo rubbed his knuckles roughly over the boy's head before releasing him. Goku started to leap on him, but they both froze at the gunshot that split the air.

"God dammit, will you two give it a rest?" Sanzo's voice was quiet, and all the deadlier for it. Gojyo and Goku both knew that tone and separated immediately.

In the sudden silence, Hakkai chuckled and murmured "My, my, what a peaceful day." He ignored the look that Sanzo shot him and kept his eyes on the road. He was pleased to see that everything was as it should be today.

After being threatened twice in such a short time, Gojyo and Goku had learned their lesson, at least temporarily. They kept quiet, and the next time Hakkai looked in the rearview mirror, they were both asleep.

* * *

They neared the next town right about when Hakkai had predicted they would. Goku and Gojyo were both awake, and the closer they got to the town, the edgier Goku got. By the time they began to see the buildings on the outskirts, he was practically quivering with suppressed tension. His apprehension was getting to the others as well, and by unspoken agreement, they stopped for lunch before entering the town. They all ate quickly, and to Hakkai's surprise, Goku ate nearly nothing. The younger man kept getting up to pace around the group, eyes swinging from side to side as if he was looking for something. After the tenth repeat of this performance, Sanzo had finally had enough.

"Damn it, saru. Quit pacing around like that."

Goku did not answer him right away, instead standing stock still and ogling the town in the distance. "Something doesn't feel right. I think there's trouble here."

The solemnity in his voice shook all of them. Appetites effectively killed, they packed everything up and drove slowly into town. Even without Goku's warning, the place would have been creepy. As it was, they were all jumping at shadows… And there were plenty of those. The town was small, but Hakkai's map had indicated at least a decent population. Instead there was no one. Not just on the street; there was no one in the entire town.

"It's a fucking ghost town," Gojyo muttered.

Hakkai agreed with that summation. It did seem like the only inhabitants of this town might be ghosts. Doors swung back and forth with the force of the midday breeze. Dust and weeds covered the main road, as if no one had been this way in a long time. How could that be true? This was the main road through this area, and while they had not seen any other vehicles during today's drive, there had been other people. Had they not gone through this town? Hakkai stopped the jeep, and the group looked around them. The place had a deserted air to it that further confirmed Gojyo's declaration. Despite that, there was something in the atmosphere that was putting them all on edge. Goku hopped out of his seat and jogged into the nearest house before anyone could stop him.

"Damn ape. Get out of there!" Sanzo shouted. He turned to Hakkai and snarled, "This place fucking reeks of youkai."

Sticking his head back out the open door, Goku called, "It doesn't look like anyone's been here in ages. Everything is really dusty. There's furniture, but not much else. Anything that could easily be carried is gone."

"So they left hurriedly enough to take only the small stuff," Gojyo stated. "Is it just me, or is there something seriously wrong with this town?"

"It's not just you," Hakkai said. "It feels like we're being watched."

"Hakkai," Sanzo ordered impatiently, "get us out of here." Standing up, he yelled, "Goku, get your ass out here. We're leaving."

Goku sprinted out the door and jumped into the jeep, but it was too late. With precious little warning, they were surrounded. A virtual army of youkai poured out of every door and window, circling the jeep and the four in it.

"Welcome, Genjo Sanzo. Glad you have arrived for our little party. We've been waiting so very patiently for you." The voice did not come from any of the youkai around them, and they looked up to see the speaker standing on the roof of the building across from them. A woman. No, not a woman, Hakkai corrected himself, a cat youkai. She stood tall and proud, her long tail flicking back and forth behind her. With her black bodysuit and orange hair slashed with black, she looked every inch the wild tiger. Even from this distance they could see her piercing green eyes.

"Hey, she's pretty hot," Gojyo murmured.

"Somehow I don't think she's here to ask you on a date," Sanzo replied. Muttering, "I hate this shit," he stood up. "What the hell do you want?"

"What do we always want? The sutra, of course. I'd ask you just to hand it over, but we both know you aren't going to do that. Besides, it would take the fun out of it," she called back.

"Brains as well as beauty. I like her already." Gojyo was practically drooling.

"Keep your damn mind on the fight," Sanzo hissed.

The youkai around them had not attacked yet, but had started closing in, so they all got out of the jeep, allowing Hakuryu to transform and land on Hakkai's shoulder. Keeping his eyes on the youkai in front of him, Hakkai scratched the little dragon under the chin. "Hakuryu, go find somewhere safe to hide. This could get messy." Hakuryu seemed reluctant to leave, but Hakkai was firm, and the dragon gave a final "Kyuu" before flying off.

Gojyo called his shakujou and Goku already had Nyoi-bou out. Though he could not see it, Hakkai was sure Sanzo had his Smith and Wesson in his hand. Preparing himself for the battle, he brought his hands together and began to call forth a powerful ki ball. Without speaking, Gojyo and Goku backed up, keeping Hakkai and Sanzo between them. Sanzo faced west, Hakkai east, and Gojyo and Goku covered north and south. Prepared for an attack from any direction, they stayed still, waiting to see who would move first.

"Are you ready?" The youkai on the roof cried. "Now you die."

At her words, the youkai swarmed towards them. Goku and Gojyo ran to meet the enemy, making sure to leave themselves plenty of room to work. Hakkai backed into Sanzo, knowing the monk would need protection when he reloaded. Hakkai fired off blast after blast as the retort of Sanzo's gun echoed off the buildings. Keeping part of his mind on the sound, he counted off the shots in his head. Three, four, there it was, the fifth. Hakkai raised a barrier, and waited until he heard Sanzo cock the weapon before dropping it. It had only taken seconds, but the youkai in front of him had taken advantage of the time to press closer. Gojyo's blade screamed into them, and half a dozen fell, blood spurting through the air.

"Oi, monkey boy. I've got twenty! Can you top that?" The half-breed taunted.

"Already have," Goku retorted. Swinging Nyoi-bou in a wide arc, he brought down another three. "And that makes thirty-two."

"Ah shit, I'm behind again," Gojyo cursed. "But not for long!" With a powerful flick of his wrist, the crescent blade spun away from him.

"Hey, Hakkai!" Goku called. "Watch this!"

Hakkai turned just in time to see Goku release a powerful ki ball, smashing into the group in front of him and frying them instantly. The boy let out an excited whoop at his success.

"Damn monkey. He never listens." Sanzo grumbled from behind Hakkai.

"Don't call me that!" Goku yelled as he pressed into the crowd.

Moving the way he was, it did not take Hakkai long to lose sight of Goku in the swarm of enemies. Another shield, another chance for Sanzo to reload. The action was automatic, and Hakkai had lost count of how many times they had done it already. No matter how many youkai they killed, there seemed to be no end to them.

"Gods, this is getting fucking tiresome," Sanzo groused. "How many more bullets do I have to waste on these bastards?"

Hakkai laughed as he threw another blast. "We are popular today, aren't we?"

"You know, Hakkai, you really are too cheerful for your own good," Sanzo responded as he fired off another quick round, then paused again to reload.

Hakkai realized suddenly that the whine of Gojyo's blade had become dimmer, and he glanced around to see that the redhead had vanished into the press of bodies. The movements of the two strong fighters had left space for youkai to press all around them, and it was becoming harder to hold them off and protect Sanzo at the same time. Hakkai whipped out his knife and took a few steps forward, using his blade to force those closest to him back. Losing himself in the fighting, he alternated between the knife and energy blasts. The feeling of blood running down his hand brought back bad memories, but the repetition of slash, duck, blast drove them away. It was not until a long moment later that Hakkai realized he had left Sanzo quite a ways back, and the attackers had filled the gap.

Gojyo twisted his arm, slinging the chained blade in every direction, slicing at every youkai he could see. Twisting the staff, he lashed out with the curved blade, using both ends of it to his best advantage. The screams of dying youkai filled his ears and he shut them out, concentrating on the task at hand. Whipping in a circle, he was disconcerted to find that he had lost sight of his friends, but he knew they could take care of themselves. If he listened carefully, he could still hear the crack of Sanzo's gun, the hiss of Hakkai's ki blasts, and Goku's energetic war cries. He grinned and kept track of his quickly rising body count. He knew it was probably bad to turn their killing into a game, but he was enthused at the idea of comparing scores with Goku later. His young friend had beat him last time by two kills, and he was determined it would not happen again.

Nyoi-bou blurred as Goku spun his staff, knocking away every youkai that came close to him. It had been awhile since they had encountered this many opponents, and he could not help but enjoy himself. Converting Nyoi-bou into its three-segmented form, he had an idea. Glancing around to make sure Sanzo would not see him, he charged the ends of it with a little ki, and let out a war cry as it worked more effectively than he could have hoped. He was still whooping a few minutes later when a disturbing thought caused him to pause. He could not see Sanzo anymore. He could not see _any_ of his friends anymore. He could still hear them, but he could not see them, and he did not like Sanzo being out of his sight during a battle. Changing directions abruptly, he fought his way back towards where he had last seen the monk.

Sanzo fired off his last shot, and when the expected shield did not materialize, he whipped around to see that he was now alone. Cursing loudly, he put his martial arts training to good use. A knee to the gut or a foot to the face would not kill a youkai, but it would put them out of commission long enough for him to reload. Keeping the crowd at bay, he reloaded and snapped the chamber closed, wishing, as he had many times before, that his shoureiju was more than a five-shot weapon. Seeing a hand reaching for the sutra on his shoulders, he whipped around and fired a bullet point blank into the youkai's skull. What he did not see was the one coming up from behind. Turning around a second too late, Sanzo felt the blow to the back of his head and cursed the carelessness that had allowed him to be separated from the others. And then he knew nothing, as darkness overtook him.

Goku did not see the blow, but he saw Sanzo crumple to the ground. Filled with sudden panic, he called his guardian's name. "Sanzo! Sanzo!" Getting no answer, he continued fighting his way over to him. "Sanzo!" With every step he took, he cried out again. As he got closer, he saw a youkai rise from next to Sanzo's body, sutra in hand, blood dripping down his arm. His panic melted into fiery rage, and he lashed out at those around him. "Sanzo!" He was beginning to quiver with anger. With every youkai that he killed, another stepped into its place, and he was no closer to where Sanzo lay. He could feel pressure beginning to build in his chest, and his head started to ache. Anger clouded his vision, and he swung Nyoi-bou wildly.

Gojyo did not see Sanzo fall, but he heard Goku cry out. Pausing during the first free moment he had, he turned his head to see Goku fighting his way towards Sanzo's last position, but no sign of the monk. Worried for the man, he was further alarmed at the rage in Goku voice. If Sanzo really was down for the count, would Goku… movement out of the corner of his eye distracted him from his thoughts, and he ducked barely in time to avoid having his head removed. Goku was still calling Sanzo's name, but the tone had changed, building towards a fever pitch, and Gojyo felt a cold finger of dread draw up his spine. Swinging the blade of his shakujou around, he cleared enough space to turn towards Hakkai. "Hakkai, we have to stop Goku before he snaps!"

Hakkai had heard Goku's cries, but had been too busy to investigate. At Gojyo's yell, he raised a quick shield and whipped around. It was not hard to find the boy; every few seconds another body flew up out of the crowd, knocked away by his increasingly wild swings. "Goku! Listen to me. Calm down!" There was no response.

Gojyo added his voice to the plea. "Goku! Damn monkey, calm the fuck down! Going nuts isn't going to help Sanzo!" There was still no response from the boy.

Hakkai tried to move towards him, but there were just too many youkai in the way. Clearing out as many as he could at one time, Hakkai edged towards the youngest member of their group. He had not gotten very far before being pushed back again, but he had gotten a glimpse of Goku. That quick look had not been reassuring. The powerful youkai's face was twisted in anger, and his golden eyes burned with rage. Blood dripped from a cut above his eye, and even as far away as he was, Hakkai could still see the obvious crack running through the center of Goku's diadem. The young man's hands were starting to pulse with green light, and Hakkai could feel an enormous build-up of ki in the area. "Gojyo, it's too late. He won't listen!" He tried to keep the panic out of his words. Sending out a blast of ki to clear his way, Hakkai ran to Gojyo's side and raised his thickest shield.

"This is going to be really bad, isn't it?" Gojyo asked, fear in his voice.

Hakkai could only nod. The increasing ki that centered around Goku suddenly exploded out in a circle around the boy. Youkai three deep were immediately incinerated, and those a little farther back were tossed like rag dolls. The shock wave hit Hakkai's shield and rocked him backwards, only Gojyo's support keeping him on his feet. It was like a bomb had gone off. When the blast cleared, there was sudden silence. Everything seemed to stop, and the only sound heard was the crackling of divine power as Goku's limiter crumbled into pieces.

As they hit the ground, howls of pain filled the air, and Goku sank to his knees, hands pressing into the sides of his head. As his friends watched in growing horror, Goku's image seemed to flicker. His hair lengthened, nails became sharp claws, ears stretched out to points. The howling stopped abruptly, plunging the area into silence again. All eyes were on the figure on the ground as he slowly stood, then straightened to his full height, a stance full of confidence and mockery of the weak enemy before him. Golden eyes snapped open, surveying those surrounding him with feral glee, and he laughed, a mad, blood-curdling laugh.

Seiten Taisei had arrived.

* * *

A/N:

And on that note, I'm off to ACEN! Don't ask me why I'm driving 12 hours to an anime convention, I don't know myself. But I know it's going to be great! To those who said they are going to be there, I hope we can meet up and chat! I'm dying to fangirl with someone about our gorgeous Saiyuki boys!

Those who don't already know, the 10th Saiyuki DVD came out this week, and it has episode 39 on it. What a great episode for some drool-worthy Sanzo images and some great SanzoxGoku moments. Homura's comments towards the end just had me swooning! I think I squealed through the entire episode.

Thanks to stitcher2ficcer for your great work, as always. If you haven't read her wonderful story, 'Awakenings', you really should! It's just awesome!

My greatest thanks to all my reviewers. You guys make my day!

TJ: I got your review as soon as I posted chapter 10, so I hope you liked that one and this one as well. Thank you for your wonderful comments, I like to hear that my reviewers think I'm doing a decent job.

bleedformeee: You're such a sweetheart! That's quite a compliment, I'm happy to hear it!

SuGaR aNiMe FrEaK: I love your little conversations, they always make me laugh. And you pulled Goku in this time as well! Don't worry, I'm weird too. It makes life more fun!

Mei Yanohi : I can't wait to meet you at ACEN! We are going to do some serious fangirlish squealing together! I can't wait to see what there is to buy, I _need_ more Saiyuki stuff!

Me-Nuriko : I always love to get your reviews. You have such wonderful things to say about my writing! I love Goku this way too, he's just awesome!

dragon keeper: I'm glad I don't have to hide from you anymore! Though the cakes make it worthwhile. Thanks! They're yummy!

Merf: You reviewed ch. 9 after I had posted 10, so I hope it lived up to expectations.

Mitsko: I have all the DVD's as well, and I can't wait until they all come out. I am just dying to have the whole collection! I haven't gotten to see all of Reload yet, but I've read the manga, so I know the kami-sama arc, and I'm really looking forward to seeing it. Have you seen any of Gunlock yet? They are just great! Some wonderful scenes of Sanzo, Gojyo, and Hakkai with no shirts on!

gallatica: I'm trying to avoid using stars since ff.net gets rid of them for some reason, or I would glomp you back! I'm glad you liked the nature scene. And yeah, poor Goku didn't get his lemon. But we aren't done yet, so you'll just have to wait! Yeah, I know I'm a meanie, bleedformeee keeps telling me that! ;-)

Pervasive Threnody: I hope we run into each other during ACEN. I'll be looking for you as Goku. I'm glad you are still enjoying my story so much. Stick around, I think the next couple of chapters are just great! (Of course, since I wrote them, I may be kind of biased!)

Iapetus: Another friend to meet at ACEN! This keeps getting better and better. Yeah, it is going to rock! I was worried that my readers would be disappointed with the way ch.10 turned out, so I'm glad you liked it. I'm really trying to build a solid foundation for their relationship. I'm looking forward to the next chapters of both your wonderful stories as well.

Eclipse45: Don't worry, the end is still a little ways away. I have to get them out of the situation I created here first! I think with Goku's background he really would have a deep bond with nature, and it's just so much fun to write. I really get to pull out my descriptive skills for those scenes. See, I didn't forget to update before I left! Hope you enjoy it!

Saiyuki G.H.S.G: I'm glad you are liking my story. Thanks!

Nikki: hehe Sanzo can be so clueless sometimes, can't he? It's part of what makes him so much fun to write. I really think Goku _is_ this mature, especially after seeing him in the kami-sama arc, and I love him for it. Harmless addictions like this are just so much fun, aren't they?


	12. Bloody Claws and Helping Hands

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 12: Bloody Claws and Helping Hands

* * *

Seiten Taisei slowly turned his head, golden cat eyes skimming over those surrounding him. His laughter escalated into a feral cackle, in anticipation of this opportunity for play. So many playthings! This was going to be fun! The surrounding youkai finally moved, retreating from the murderous creature in their midst. At their movements he tensed, dropping down into a fighting stance, a wild grin splitting his face. And then he disappeared.

Hakkai and Gojyo watched as Seiten Taisei reappeared behind a large group of youkai and started tearing them apart before they had an opportunity to run. Bodies flew in every direction, and the air was filled with the sound of death and mad laughter.

"Shit, Hakkai. What the hell are we gonna do? When he finishes with them he'll come after us again."

Hakkai turned to scan the crowd. As the youkai retreated, he caught of glimpse of white robes and blond hair. "I think I see Sanzo. We need to make sure he's okay. He's the only one who can stop this."

They dashed in the direction Hakkai indicated, dodging fleeing youkai who no longer had any interest in them. At one point Seiten Taisei hurdled over their heads, but he paid them no mind, concentrating on those who were trying to get away.

"Fuck," Gojyo breathed. The blood-soaked carnage made even their worst battles seem mild.

Hakkai did not respond, as he had finally reached Sanzo's side. The blonde was a mess of dirt and blood, and there was no telling at first glance how injured he was. Hakkai was not even sure he was still alive until he felt his pulse. It was strong and even, and he breathed a sigh of relief. "Gojyo, I think he's not badly hurt. Help me turn him over."

The half-breed did as requested, and whistled as Sanzo's torn back came into view. "That's gotta hurt."

Hakkai took a closer look. "It's not that bad, really. They're shallow. From the angle, it looks like it was done carelessly when the scripture was pulled from his shoulders. I can heal them, but I wish we had some water."

Gojyo glanced around, his eyes settling on a small well a little ways behind them. "There's a well over there. I think I can get to it without attracting attention." He began to get up, but paused as Hakkai grabbed his arm.

"Be careful. You know he can't tell friend from foe."

Gojyo grinned grimly. "Aren't I always?" He scanned the area, pinpointing Seiten Taisei's location. Avoiding the ongoing violence, the half-youkai sprinted across the road to the well. Filling the bucket, he parted it from the rope with a quick jerk of the shakujou, and ran back over to his friends.

Hakkai took the bucket with a grateful smile and poured a little water on Sanzo's back. The cold water jerked the monk back to consciousness. "Fuck. Wha… What the hell hit me?" Sanzo sat up and pressed a hand to his head.

"Please hold still, Sanzo. You've got some nasty cuts on your back that will only take a minute to heal." Hakkai placed his hands on the worst gouge and let his ki flow, watching as the skin knit together. Finally closing the last wound, he peered at the lump on the back of Sanzo's head. "You've got a nasty lump here, but it didn't break the skin. You must have a bit of a headache though."

"No shit," Sanzo grumbled. "A little more than a bit." Taking his hand off his head, he searched his shoulders, then the ground around him. "Damn it. Where's the sutra?"

Gojyo was standing behind them, mesmerized by Seiten Taisei cornering the last couple dozen of the vast army that had attacked them. "Umm, well, at the moment, he's got it."

"What?… Who? Why the hell aren't you doing something about it?"

"You're welcome to ask him for it, but I don't think he's in a listening mood."

Sanzo stood up, wobbling slightly, and turned to follow Gojyo's gaze. His mouth tightened as he took in the slaughter in front of him. "Fuck." Seiten Taisei paused in his killing to pick up the sutra from where a dying youkai had dropped it on the ground. Sniffing it curiously, he deemed it unimportant, and tossed it over his shoulder before slashing out again.

"Well, at least we don't have to fight him for it," Gojyo quipped.

Sanzo shot him a narrow-eyed look. "Want to tell me what the hell's going on?"

Hakkai stepped in to provide an explanation. "During the battle we all got separated, then you fell, and Goku must have seen it. When he couldn't get to you, he panicked. We tried to calm him down, but we couldn't get near him, and he was beyond listening. His limiter broke."

"Damn monkey," Sanzo muttered. "So now _I've_ got to fix things again. I'm getting really tired of having to do this."

"Hell, at least you _can_ do it. But he's not our only problem. Check out the roof." The other two followed Gojyo's gaze up to the cat youkai's perch, a look of pure horror on her face, the fur on her tail standing on end. "Doesn't look like she expected this turn of events."

"Not that we did either," Hakkai said quietly. "What should we do about her?"

"Who gives a fuck about her?" Sanzo snarled. "If she comes down here, she's dead. If he doesn't get to her, we will."

"We should at least let the last thing she sees be a handsome face." Ignoring Sanzo's disgusted reaction and Hakkai's non-committal one, Gojyo glanced over to see Seiten Taisei gleefully stalking the last five quivering youkai. Guesstimating that he had a few minutes before that deadly gaze turned towards them, he cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled up at the woman. "Hey, beautiful. Why don't you come down here and say hello?"

She tore her eyes away from the bloody remains of her army to growl at him. "How dare you call me that! I'll kill you for that."

"What's wrong with women these days? Can't take a simple compliment," Gojyo muttered under his breath, as he readied his shakujou.

The female youkai jumped down from the roof, landing lightly and pulling a long, studded whip from her belt. She strode towards Gojyo, but stopped abruptly as Seiten Taisei appeared in front of her. Fear crossed her face as she stared at him. He stared right back, narrowed cat's eyes shining with startling intelligence as a feral grin crossed his face. The spattered blood that covered every inch of his body made his already formidable appearance even more fearsome. The woman backed up slightly, then stopped. Resignation showed in her eyes, replaced quickly by determination and anger. "You," she hissed. "What the hell are you?" She lashed out at him with her whip, striking him across the face, whipping his head to the side.

Seiten Taisei did not even try to dodge the attack. He turned his head back to look at her, and dipped a finger in the blood now trickling down his cheek. He brought it to his mouth and licked it clean with a satisfied grin.

"Fucking hell." Gojyo could not hold back the gasp. At the sound, Seiten Taisei whipped around, pinning the three with his eyes.

"Dumbass kappa," Sanzo whispered.

They stood frozen under that gaze, hypnotized by the golden eyes they knew so well, but which now held a wildness that definitely did not belong to Goku. With his attention distracted from her, the cat youkai took the opportunity to strike again, but her whip cracked on empty air. Seiten Taisei appeared behind her, foot whipping out to knock her to the ground. He did not advance, allowing her to rise to her feet and face him again. She struck out at him again, and was knocked down a second time by a blow so rapid it was nearly invisible. He backed off this time, circling her in a wide arc, keeping just out of range of her whip.

"He's fucking playing with her," Gojyo muttered.

"Keep your god damned mouth shut!" Sanzo hissed.

The youkai turned in a circle, keeping her eyes trained on her attacker and her whip ready. Seiten Taisei paused for a second, then held out his hand in a gesture Gojyo, Hakkai, and Sanzo all recognized. Nyoi-bou appeared in his hand, already crackling with wild green energy.

Hakkai paled. "Oh no."

Sanzo turned slowly to meet his eyes. "You mean he can use ki in this form?"

"I… I wouldn't have said so before, but it looks like it."

Sanzo turned back around. "Shit."

The youkai swung her whip in a circle over her head, snapping it occasionally, trying to keep Seiten Taisei at bay. He just watched her, head cocked at a curious angle, eyes following the path of the whip as it swung around. Never taking his eyes off her, he swung Nyoi-bou behind him, striking the edge of the closest building. It exploded outward, dust and debris flying through the air. Hakkai threw up a barrier, deflecting the debris, but the dust rolled into them, making them all cough and swipe at their suddenly teary eyes. When the air cleared, Seiten Taisei was gone. As they looked around cautiously, a scream brought their attention back to the cat youkai. She did not even have time to raise her whip. They watched in horror as Seiten Taisei landed on the woman, knocking her on her back, and began clawing at her chest and face, blood gushing up in bright red streams. He laughed as he worked, a laugh that sent shivers down the listeners' spines. She struggled once, twice, then lay still. Finally finished with his toy, Seiten Taisei stood up from her body and licked the blood off his arm. Slowly turning, he pinned Gojyo with his gaze.

"And then there were three," Hakkai breathed.

"Hakkai, Gojyo, distract him, but stay as far away as you can. I've got to get close enough to seal him." Sanzo took a step forward.

Seiten Taisei's eyes locked onto him, and he grinned a slow, malicious grin. He took a step towards Sanzo, then another, and then he was in motion, running towards them. Gojyo whipped out his crescent blade, intent on wrapping the chain around the quickly approaching demon, but it was easily evaded, and he was on them, launching a kick at Gojyo's head. The foot connected, snapping the half-breed's head back and knocking him into the wall.

"Gojyo!" Hakkai turned towards his fallen friend.

"Hakkai, watch out!" Sanzo yelled.

Hakkai whipped around and raised a barrier from which Seiten Taisei bounced back. The earth demon slid to a stop a few meters away, looking slightly surprised, but then he grinned again, a wild intelligence burning in his eyes. He summoned Nyoi-bou, and the staff glowed even brighter than before. Throwing himself at Hakkai, he cut through the barrier with Nyoi-bou, and whipped the staff around to smash into the healer's head. Only his quick reflexes saved Hakkai's life as he threw himself to the side, the staff whistling a bare inch above his head. Seiten Taisei banished the staff, reaching out to slash at Hakkai, and this time the man wasn't fast enough to evade the attack. Hakkai let out a pained scream as sharp claws drew down his abdomen, fresh blood rushing to the surface. Seiten Taisei raised his hand for another swipe, but paused as a bullet pierced the air near his head. Slowly looking up, he glared at the one who dared to shoot at him.

"That's right, you stupid monkey," Sanzo said under his breath, "It's me you want to attack."

Getting to his feet, Seiten Taisei slowly started to circle the monk.

"That's not going to work on me," Sanzo stated calmly. "I'm not as stupid as she was."

Seeming to understand, the wild demon stopped and cocked his head, looking at Sanzo with curiosity. He suddenly took off in the opposite direction, and aimed a punch at Sanzo's midsection. The blonde easily dodged the blow by stepping to the side, and reached out a hand for Seiten Taisei's forehead. But there was no one there, and Sanzo whipped around only to be knocked to the ground by a hard kick to his side. _Fuck, he's testing me, seeing what I can do. _ Struggling to regain the breath that had been knocked out of him, Sanzo watched as Seiten Taisei turned away from him, again stalking Gojyo, who was just coming back from unconsciousness.

"Leave him alone, Goku, please!" Hakkai pleaded. He was ignored by this creature who was not Goku, and closed his eyes to prepare himself for what he had to do. Powering up a ki blast, he regulated it so it would not do too much damage, then he fired it at the demon, hitting him square in the back. Seiten Taisei hit the ground, but was up in a flash, growling with the first sign of anger they had seen him show. He leapt towards Hakkai, but was caught in the air as the chain of Gojyo's shakujou wrapped around his body. He howled in anger and ripped the chain to pieces with a mighty thrust of his powerful arms. Hakkai took a moment to breathe, trying to ignore the bleeding wounds on his stomach. _I didn't even slow him down. If anything, I made him angry. He's even more powerful than the last time we faced him._

Seiten Taisei landed on his feet like a cat, crouching on the ground, then launched himself at Sanzo, who was striding towards him with hand outstretched. The movement caught the monk by surprise, and they both fell as the earth spirit barreled into him. Having a demonic Goku sitting on top of him trying to claw his heart out was not Sanzo's idea of a good time, and he struggled against the legs locking him down as he tried to get a hand up to Seiten Taisei's forehead. Keeping the clawing hands at bay was all he could manage, and he snapped his head back, looking for the others. "Gojyo, Hakkai, the sutra!"

Instantly understanding, they both struggled to their feet and sprinted across the clearing towards the discarded sutra. Gojyo reached it first, and dashed back to where Sanzo lay under Seiten Taisei. "Just throw the damn thing!" Sanzo yelled. Gojyo looked at him in confusion, but did as requested. Closing his eyes and clearing his mind, Sanzo recited the words he needed to activate the magic lying dormant in the flying parchment. It burst open as it flew through the air, tendrils reaching out and wrapping around the enraged demon's limbs, lifting him off Sanzo. He let out a howl of fury, and struggled against his bonds, but they held. Sanzo laid a shaky hand on Seiten Taisei's forehead, glad to see the golden glow of divine power. The limiter appeared, wrapping itself tightly around the demon's head, and Sanzo let out a relieved breath. It was over. Letting the sutra go and sliding it around his shoulders, he raised his arms, expecting an unconscious Goku to fall into them.

Seiten Taisei swayed as his features began to revert to Goku's under the limiter. But rather than passing out, the boy backed away, still-clawed hands on his head, and squeezed his eyes shut against the pain. Sanzo lowered his arms as he realized something was wrong. There was a cracking noise, and the monk watched in horror as the limiter broke in half and fell to the ground. Despair gripped him as Seiten Taisei again took Goku's place, clearly enraged at the pain inflicted on him.

Gojyo and Hakkai raced to Sanzo, grabbing his arms and yanking him off the ground as they tried to put some distance between themselves and the furious earth spirit. "What the hell? Why didn't it work?" Gojyo asked between panting breaths.

"Fuck, I don't know! He must be too powerful with the ki." Sanzo was having trouble keeping the panic away.

Hakkai looked at both of them apologetically. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know—"

Sanzo cut him off. "Quit blaming yourself. He wasn't supposed to let this happen again."

Gojyo was taken aback. "So this is Goku's fault? He only went nuts 'cause he was worried about you!"

"So it's my fault the dumbass ape can't control himself? Did I tell him to start killing everyone?" Sanzo lashed back at Gojyo.

"Is that what you'll tell him when he wakes up after this? It's not bad enough for him to know he hurt all of us, but it's all his fault too?"

Sanzo had to restrain himself from swinging at the angry half-youkai. "_If_ we live through this, I'm going to beat it into his head that losing control doesn't help anything!"

"Stop it, both of you!" Hakkai's raised voice cut into their argument. "This isn't helping us or him." Getting himself under control, he continued. "What do we do now?"

There was silence. Gojyo shrugged. "Try it again?"

Sanzo began to retort, but one look at Hakkai's face made him shut up. Keeping a tight reign on his wildly oscillating emotions, he said, "If I can bind him again, I'll try a second time."

"Where is he, anyway?" asked Gojyo, a hint of fear in his voice.

Sanzo looked around, but saw no sign of the demon. "Fuck."

Suddenly the building behind them blew out, the shockwave knocking them all to the ground. Seiten Taisei emerged from the rubble, laughing maniacally as he whipped Nyoi-bou over his head. Sanzo rolled to the right as the staff hit the ground where his head had been. Large cracks appeared in the ground from the force of the impact. The staff swung again, and though he avoided the main thrust, it still struck him a glancing blow to the shoulder. A pop resounded in his ears, and pain washed over him from what could only be a dislocated shoulder. Cradling his wounded arm and bleeding from multiple cuts inflicted by the flying debris, the monk stood up.

Seiten Taisei had disappeared again, and Hakkai and Gojyo were gingerly picking themselves up off the ground. Hakkai had blood streaming down his head from a gash on his forehead, and Gojyo had his hand clamped over a cut across his cheek. A howl filled the air, and they all dropped into defensive stances. Hakkai was the first to be hit. Nyoi-boi came out of nowhere and slammed into the back of his legs, knocking him forward. He heard Gojyo scream his name, and then blacked out as he hit his head upon a rock.

"Damn it, you fucking monkey!" Gojyo sprang forward, swinging his blade with as much force as he could. For a second it seemed like it would hit Seiten Taisei in the chest, and terror gripped at the half-breed's heart. He twisted the hilt, deflecting the shot to the side. He had almost… he could have killed him. Killed Goku! The chain slipped back into its chamber, and Gojyo realized that Seiten Taisei had disappeared again. He saw movement to his right, and spun the shakujou to deflect a blow. None came, and he realized he had been tricked as soon as he felt the sharp pain in his left arm. Blood streamed from a deep slice that stretched from his elbow to his wrist. Peering at it in shock, he could see bone. Willing himself not to faint, he looked up to see Seiten Taisei waiting a few feet from him, grinning that maddening grin. "You fucking bastard!" With every word his voice rang out louder, and he ran at the demon. Seiten Taisei watched him come, then dodged to the side at the last moment, twisting Nyoi-bou around in an arc that smacked Gojyo right across the shoulder blades. He slammed into the ground, the breath crushed from his lungs.

Sanzo glared at his companions. Fat lot of good they had done. Seiten Taisei eyed him with barely restrained glee, mockery in his smile. Sanzo felt rage building inside himself, displacing his worry and despair. How dare this… creature force him into this position? Force him to fight for his life, risking all their lives as they tried to avoid killing it. This demon had ripped Goku away from them, from him, and now toyed with them. The monk centered his rage inside himself and chanted, holding Goku's face in his memory as he concentrated. He was the only one that could save them all, and he would succeed. Throwing out his uninjured arm, he sent the sutra spiraling towards Seiten Taisei.

The powerful earth demon laughed and charged Nyoi-bou. Holding the staff out in front of himself, he spun it in a fast circle, creating a whirling shield of ki. The sutra struck the shield and sparks flew, stinging Sanzo's skin where they touched him. The sutra rebounded from the supercharged ki, recoiling itself back around Sanzo's shoulders. The man looked down at his most powerful weapon and sunk to his knees. That was it, his final chance. He had failed. There were no more options that could bring this to a happy ending. There was only one way to end this confrontation now.

Sanzo fingered his Smith and Wesson. Was he really going to do this? Could he? Did he have any choice? Flipping off the safety, he cocked the gun and took aim at the monster confronting him, watching him curiously, toying with him like a cat with an exhausted mouse. He was thwarted by Gojyo's hand clamping down on his own, preventing him from pulling the trigger. "Damn it, Gojyo! Let go!"

"You fucking cold-blooded bastard! No matter what he is right now, that's still Goku! He loves you! How can you so carelessly shoot him?" Gojyo was flushed with anger.

"He'll kill us when he tires of this game. Are you willing to trade your life – all our lives – for his?"

"Then _do_ something about it! Find a way to fix this!" Yelling now, Gojyo leaned in close.

"I've already tried! It didn't work; he's too powerful now. We don't have any other choices!" He yelled back at the half-breed, exhausted beyond his limits, and filled with despair at what he was trying to do.

"Then get someone to help! She limited him before, the Goddess. Find a way to make _her_ help again!"

At the suggestion, Sanzo paused, considering. _She_ probably could help, if he could figure out how to call her. Unwilling to entertain false hope, his voice went cold. "Even if I knew how to ask her_ – _which I don't – what makes you think she would help us? The gods help no one."

"She's done it before! Damn it, your selfish pride is either going to kill him or get us killed!" Gojyo gestured with a sharp nod towards Seiten Taisei, never letting go of Sanzo's gun hand. "Could you live with yourself if that happens?"

"If we die, I won't have to," Sanzo retorted. "And when– **if** – he comes back to himself, how do you think he'd feel, knowing he killed us all? And maybe others after us!" _I can't let him suffer like that._

"I'd rather die trying to save him – or take him out with us – than kill him in cold blood." Gojyo was quiet now, determination in his voice.

Sanzo faltered in the face of Gojyo's conviction. He did not want to kill Goku, not after everything that had happened between them, everything that was still unresolved. _But what can I do? I've tried everything I know. I can only save him from the pain of being alone again._

"_Do_ something, Sanzo. Do it now, before it's too late." With that, the half-breed left him to go to Hakkai's side. Sanzo was relieved to see that the healer was finally sitting up, a hand on his head, but at least conscious now.

Sanzo stared down at the gun in his hand. Was there another choice? He looked up at Seiten Taisei. The earth demon stood still, studying them. He seemed fascinated by his prey's actions, wasting time and arguing in the face of imminent death. The golden eyes watched Sanzo warily, waiting for his next move. Despite their wildness, there was an age-old wisdom in them, and he was reminded of the look Goku had given him the night before. If he did this, if he shot and killed Seiten Taisei, he would never see that look again. Would he be able to live with himself, knowing what he had lost? Knowing that he had failed Goku? _I am not strong. _He had said that once before. And Hakkai had reminded him that though it was true, it did not mean that he was weak either. Sanzo glanced at Gojyo helping Hakkai to his feet. No, he was not strong, not by himself, but he was strong in his friends, and they strong in him. _I need them,_ he admitted to himself, _and they need me. **Goku** needs me. They need me to do what I can to make this come out right._

Sanzo stood up, and felt his spirit inexplicably lightened. He knew what he had to do. Striding towards the bruised and battered pair, he barked orders at them. "Distract him. I only need a few moments."

Gojyo lifted his head to look at the monk. "What are you going to do?"

"Just do it!" he growled.

The healer and the fighter glanced at each other, then separated. They circled around Seiten Taisei, and he tensed, grinning cheerfully to see his prey back in motion.

Sanzo turned his back to the group and sat cross-legged on the ground. He had no idea how to do this, but he had to try, for all their sakes. Taking a deep breath to take himself away from his physical pain, he turned inward and sent a prayer to the highest levels of heaven. "Goddess of Mercy, help me… please."

There was a sudden flash of light, and the Goddess of Mercy herself stood in front of him, her attendant behind her as usual. "My dear Konzen, all you had to do was ask. And so nicely put too, I might add." Sanzo scowled at her choice of address, and she grinned at him. "Oh yes, I keep forgetting… You are Genjo Sanzo now. Sorry." Her tone implied that she was not sorry at all. "So what do we have here? Problems with the little monkey? You guys really have made quite the mess of this situation."

"Are you going to help us or not?" Sanzo ground out from between clenched teeth. The old hag always managed to irritate him.

"Well, since you did ask so nicely, I guess I can lend a hand." She sauntered over towards Gojyo and Hakkai, who were using ki blasts and the shakujou to keep Seiten Taisei in a limited area. He was dodging their attacks with ease, occasionally swiping at them with his claws. They both sported new cuts, and Gojyo was stumbling from blood loss. Seiten Taisei was laughing as if he found the game incredibly amusing, but cut off immediately at the sight of the Goddess. He stared at her with puzzlement on his face. "Trying to remember where you've seen me before, little monkey?" Kanzeon asked the demon.

He lowered his head and peered up at her from underneath his chocolate bangs. Grinning suddenly, he lunged in her direction. "Uh uh. I don't think so," she said, waving a finger at him like he was an unruly child. The powerful earth demon froze in his tracks, and started to backpedal, a look on his face that Sanzo thought he would never see: fear. "Hold him still." Kanzeon yelled to Gojyo and Hakkai, and they rushed to do as she commanded.

Turning to Sanzo, she beckoned him with a finger. "Come on Konzen… sorry. Sanzo. It's time to do your stuff." He scowled at her but did as requested.

As he approached the struggling earth demon, he looked over his shoulder. "You know this didn't work before."

"Ahh, but you didn't have a goddess helping you before, did you?" Jiroshin let out a sigh from behind her.

Feeling foolish, Sanzo put his hand on Seiten Taisei's forehead. The divine power lit his hand, and a limiter started to appear. The demon let out a scream of outrage and struggled even harder. "This isn't work—" Sanzo was suddenly cut off by a hand on his shoulder, and a surge of power flowed through him and into the limiter. Over the rush of power, he heard a distinctly feminine voice speaking in his head. _"You see, Konzen, all you had to do was admit you needed help. You can't make this journey on your own; you have to learn to rely on those that care about you. Especially this one. He's far more important than you realize. Take good care of him; he needs your light."_

The voice faded from his mind as the hand lifted from his shoulder. Sanzo opened his eyes to see Seiten Taisei's features shift into those of his charge, and he opened his arms to catch him as he fell, ignoring the pain from his injured shoulder. This time the limiter stayed in place, and Goku rested quietly in his embrace. Sinking to the ground, he pulled Goku to him, exhaustion and relief making him weak-kneed. Gojyo and Hakkai sank to the ground as well, their extensive injuries weighing heavily on them.

The Merciful Goddess wiggled her fingers at them. "Well, now that that's done, I must be going. There isn't anything here you guys can't handle together." She turned away from them, and as she and Jiroshin began to fade from sight, she glanced back at Sanzo, and he again heard her voice in his head. _"Don't forget what you've learned here, Konzen."_ She was gone in a twinkle, leaving behind her three exhausted and wounded young men and one sleeping earth child, all sitting in a street littered with bodies and running with blood.

* * *

A/N:

Wow, oh wow. ACEN was just the best! I can't believe how much fun I had. I got to meet three of my wonderful reviewers: Mei Yanohi, Iapetus, and Pervasive Threnrody. It was so much fun to talk to you all. And I got to see Greg Ayers (Goku's VA) and Vic Mignogna (Kougaiji's VA) _and_ I got their autographs! Not to mention I bought both Salty Dog art books and the Backgammon Remix art book. Which, by the way, if you don't have them, you _need_ them! So many wonderful pictures of the guys! Vic is really hot, and he whispered a few of Kougaiji's lines in my ear, which was just wonderful. But the best part was meeting Greg. He sounds exactly like Goku (I mean all the time, not just when he's doing the voice), and he's really funny, not to mention cute! I actually got him to say "I love you, Sanzo", which had me squealing all day long. All in all it was a great weekend.

I know I'm posting this early, but I just wanted to pass it on in celebration of the great fun I had at ACEN, and the fact that I finally got the job I've wanted for two years now. It means a move back up north, but I can't wait. Don't worry, moving won't affect my posting schedule, I'll just go to the local library if I have to. Though getting a DSL connection is a _major_ priority, right after getting electricity!

So while I was gone, we broke 200 reviews! I can't believe how many people are loving what I'm doing with this story! You guys really make my day! I get so excited when I see reviews in my inbox. When this is done I've got a couple more story ideas; I can't help it, I'm addicted to your great reviews! Hmmmm... let's see, I'm running out of dessert ideas. I know we've already had cake, but how about my favorite, hot fudge pudding cake? **_hands out cake and hugs to all the great reviewers and readers_**

Stitcher2Ficcer, you are my inspiration.

ChibiLoner: I am so Saiyuki obsessed, I just can't help it! I keep track of when each DVD comes out and rush out to buy it. I have to have another dose of our beautiful boys!

Koinu-Chan : Thanks! I love being on people's fav list, it makes me so happy that people are enjoying my story that much!

Katie: I had so much fun writing Seiten Taisei for ch. 11 and 12. I hope you liked him here!

Bleedformeee: You can tell me that over and over again, I always love hearing it! Yeah, I'm a meanie, but I didn't make you wait too long this time! Fanimecon sounds like fun, let me know how it goes!

Shades Of Hades : I hope you liked the rest. I'm happy to have you along!

Dreameater: I'm really glad you are still liking this! I look forward to your funny reviews!

Saiyuki G.H.S.G: You're so cute! Here you go, as requested.

Me-Nuriko: I'm glad I surprised you! I just couldn't end the story that quickly. And boy, I have really enjoyed writing the fighting. I wasn't sure at first if I could do it very well, but it's just been so much fun, and I've had great reactions to it. hehe No, Seiten Taisei isn't much fun for any of them, and he did quite a number on them here. I'm so mean to them!

ForsakenOn3: I have really grown to like Seiten Taisei as well, he's just cool! Don't worry, you'll get your SanzoxGoku moments!

Nikki: Seiten Taisei is just so powerful here, I think I scared myself! I'm so tempted to do more with him in another storyline, he's so awesome. And such a cutie as well!

Zek Majiri: I think you will be saying poor all of them after this chapter! They all need hugs now.

SuGaR aNiMe FrEaK: You give her sugar because it makes her even funnier! I always look forward to seeing what you are going to say next.

Phoe-chan: As a _huge_ SanzoxGoku fanatic, I welcome you to the club! I'm glad you like this, I've had so much fun writing it. I love Goku this way, he is cool, isn't he?

SD: Peeing in your pants? I didn't think it was that good! Hope this update was quick enough for you!

Huh: Wow, your incredible compliments made me blush! Knowing that I'm making you love the characters even more makes me so happy! I love these guys, and I love this pairing, and I really wanted to share that with everyone.

Mitsko: Gunlock is just awesome, so many great shots of our boys, and the Kougaiji barcode episodes are to die for. He's such a hottie!

Iamzuul: Yeah, the first chapter is kind of odd, but I'm glad you like it now! I've worked really hard to keep everyone in character, and I love it when people tell me I'm succeeding. Hakkai and Gojyo are such great friends, aren't they?

Eclipse45: I love getting your reviews! They are always so long and interesting. 'Awakenings' is just fantastic, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll pass along your compliments. This story can't go on forever (though I'm going to miss it a lot when it's done!), but I felt they needed some more time to understand themselves and their feelings, especially Sanzo. Which of course gives me more time to get into Sanzo's head, and I love that! Only two more DVD's to go and then we have to wait forever for Reload. **_cries_** I find the wait agonizing as well, I'm glad I'm not the only one. Thanks for the snacks, they were great! I need all that caffeine to keep me up and writing! And popcorn is always appreciated!

Pervasive Threnody: It was nice to get to talk to you, I wish we could have had a longer conversation as well. It was very hectic, I don't think I ever stopped running from place to place! I wanted to buy some new manga, but stuck to the art books instead. Had to make a choice, and I really wanted Greg and Vic to sign the art books. Did you get to hear them talk? They are both so funny!

dragon keeper: Yeah, I am a meanie. Sorry! You didn't have to wait long though, and I can't wait to hear what you have to say about this chappie. I love cherry pie, thanks!

KazeShinai: Glad you liked it! I think that one reason some people don't like the SanzoxGoku pairing is because they think Goku is too young, but I really don't agree with that. Even if you ignore the 500 years he was locked away, he's still 18, and that's old enough in any state! He can act young, but so can Gojyo, and you don't hear people saying he's too young to be with Hakkai! I think Goku is more mature than the guys give him credit for, and that's the way I like to write him.

Iapetus: It was so much fun getting to chat with you, and thanks for showing me where they were selling those art books! I hope you had as much fun as I did.

Mei Yanohi: Man, did we have a good time or what? It was so nice to get to chat about Saiyuki in person, you let me ramble on about all those little things that spring to mind when I watch the series. Did you get Greg's autograph? Did you really ask him to say what you mentioned? I want to hear all about it. You owe me a review for this chapter, I want to hear what you think! I went and read your GojyoxSanzo ficlet, and I loved it, it was just as good as the SanzoxGoku one. You should write more, you are just as talented with words are you are with the pencil.


	13. Laughter and Wet Footprints

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 13:  Laughter and Wet Footprints

Sanzo looked down at the young man lying in his arms. Goku was sleeping soundly, unaware of the carnage that surrounded him. It was hard to believe that just a short while ago the monster that his diadem held in check had been very successfully battering them all to death. Sanzo shuddered, and his dislocated shoulder screamed in pain. This was not an experience he ever wanted to repeat. He shifted the demon to one side, away from his injury. At the adjustment, Goku stirred, grabbing a handful of Sanzo's robes and burying his face in the monk's chest. Too exhausted to protest, Sanzo rested his chin on the boy's head.

Gojyo and Hakkai still hadn't moved, breathing heavily as they sat on the dusty road. No one had said a word since Kanzeon had left, and the only sound was the dry wind that blew down the street, ruffling their hair. Gojyo collapsed onto his back and finally broke the silence. "Well, fuck." He began to laugh, a low deep rumble straight from his chest. His friends stared at him, but Sanzo could tell that Hakkai was having a hard time fighting a smile. Finally giving up, the healer joined in the half-breed's laughter, his quiet and soft, just a tad higher in pitch, but no less relieved.

Sanzo stared at his two companions, whose laughter quickly escalated into uncontrollable gales, ringing out loud and strong. He waited until they had calmed down, both of them lying on their backs, wheezing as they attempted to catch their breath. "Are you two done?"

"Awwww, come on Sanzo, it's over, and we're alive. We're _all_ alive." As he said it, Gojyo suddenly sobered. "I wasn't sure, there towards the end. I really thought we might not get him back." The redhead slowly crawled to Sanzo and Goku, ignoring the blood dripping from his arm. He reached out that arm, but winced and drew it back when he felt the wound. He extended the other arm and laid his hand on Goku's hair, tousling it slightly. "Glad to have you back, kid," he said softly. 

Sanzo studied Gojyo curiously, and recalled the half-demon's anger as he forced his gun down, not letting him shoot. Gojyo had cared enough about Goku to refuse to let Sanzo give up when he had been swallowed by despair. Was this what true friendship was? Depending on each other not just for survival, but for help when the darkness grew too thick? Lowering his eyes back to Goku, he called the half-breed's name. "Gojyo."

The man looked up at him, face for once devoid of his trademark smirk, instead reflecting weariness and pain. "Yeah?"

"Thanks." It wasn't something he had ever thought he would say.

Gojyo looked surprised. "For what?"

"For stopping me. For forcing me to see that there was another choice."

Gojyo smiled a little. "You're welcome, but I didn't do it for you. I did it for him." He inclined his head towards Goku.

"I know," Sanzo acknowledged.

Hakkai crawled up to them and peered closely at Goku. "It doesn't look like he's hurt badly, just a few scratches and the lash on his cheek."

Gojyo snorted. "He wasn't the one getting beat on. We're a damn mess!"

The three of them were covered in bruises and blood, most of it their own. Sanzo was outwardly the best off, sporting nothing more than cuts and scratches; but below the surface he endured the dislocated shoulder, as well as a dull throbbing in his side that told him he had some bruised ribs… Not to mention a massive headache. For a moment he wished Goku was awake to heal the migraine, but banished that thought. The young man needed rest after his painful transformation.

Hakkai and Gojyo were both bleeding from multiple wounds, though the blood had slowed to a trickle from most of them. Hakkai had slashes across his chest that Sanzo could see through the rents in his shirt, and the cut on his forehead had made his face a grotesque red and white mask. The healer had also taken a vicious blow to the calves which may have broken a bone. He was sitting there now with his hands on his head and a grimace on his face that told of a headache as bad as Sanzo's. Gojyo had split his scalp when he was kicked against the building, and drying blood clumped in his hair and coated his neck and shoulder. His worst injury was his torn arm, where they could all see the white of bone at the bottom of the deep slash. The half-breed was pale from blood loss and pain, and looked ill.

Hakkai tended to Gojyo's wound first, despite the man's vocal protests that he was wounded himself and shouldn't worry about them. The healer slowly got to his feet, dizziness making him grasp Gojyo's shoulder for support. As soon as he was upright, he oriented on the water bucket Gojyo had brought earlier and headed towards it. Though he limped, his stride was steady, indicating no broken bones. Grabbing the bucket, he returned to pour it over Gojyo's arm, effectively shutting him up. The man hissed at the pain and his face paled further, but he didn't pass out. Hakkai used just enough ki to stop the bleeding and partially heal the deep wound, then quit.

Sanzo was not planning on letting Hakkai tend to his wounds, but when he shrugged off questions about his health, the healer touched his shoulder lightly. Even the light touch was enough to send shockwaves up his arm, and he gasped.

"That's what I thought," Hakkai murmured. "It's dislocated, isn't it? You should have said something."

Sanzo still said nothing, gritting his teeth against the throbbing pain.

"This is going to hurt," Hakkai warned.

"Then do it already!" Sanzo growled. A quick jerk to the side and a pop, and the arm was back in its socket. Though his face was white and his breathing ragged, Sanzo found he was no longer in pain – at least not from the arm. Everything else was minor and could wait until later. "That's enough, Hakkai. We'll be fine. You need to take care of yourself."

Hakkai nodded and proceeded to wash as much of the blood off his face as he could from the small bucket. Gojyo had already returned to the well and was using a spare bucket to clean himself off. Sanzo looked around him, taking in the blood-splattered walls and the numerous dead bodies. It was a good thing this was already a ghost town, because they had just added a whole bunch more. Tilting Goku's weight back against his chest and slipping his good arm underneath the young man's knees, Sanzo struggled to stand. A strong hand caught his elbow, helping to steady him. Sanzo's automatic response of  'Get your hands off me,' died on his lips as he looked into Gojyo's concerned eyes.

"Do you want me to take him?"

Sanzo shook his head. "With that arm? I can handle him."

Gojyo let go of his elbow, and Sanzo shifted Goku to a position that did not strain his shoulder. "Let's get the hell out of this fucking place."

There was no argument from either of the others, and they slowly made their way down the road to the end of town. Hakkai called for Hakuryu, and the little white dragon appeared from wherever he had been hiding. Kyuuing plaintively, their transportation landed on the healer's shoulder, rubbing his head against the man's cheek. "It's okay, we're fine," Hakkai soothed him. "Please transform so we can get to the next town." The dragon fluttered to the ground and became the familiar green jeep.

"I'll sit in the back with Goku, Gojyo, since I've already got him. You take shotgun." Sanzo did not quite know why he felt the need to make excuses.

"Sure" Gojyo made certain they were all in the jeep and settled before hopping into his own seat. Hakkai took off at a fairly fast pace, and no one complained. They were all eager to get to an inn for some much needed rest.

It took them only a few hours to reach the nearest town on the map, just as the sun was setting. Hauling themselves wearily from the jeep, Sanzo let the other two take the lead as he carried Goku. They booked a large single room with four beds, none of them wanting to be alone after the day they had just lived through. It did not have an attached bathroom, but there was one just down the hall, a small price to pay for the ability to keep an eye on each other. Gojyo placed a room service order for dinner – "Beer, I need beer!" – and they retired to their room.

Sanzo gently laid Goku on a bed, trying not to disturb the young man as he pulled his robe from his clenched fist. Goku whimpered a bit at the sudden chill and curled into a ball, but did not wake. Sanzo pulled off his boots, tucked the blankets around him, then paused to study his face. They had come so close to losing each other today. If Gojyo had not thought to call Kanzeon, one of them would probably be dead, the other living with the guilt of having caused that death. He raised his head to look at Gojyo, lounging in a chair, feet up on the table and a cigarette in his hand. Hakkai was lying on the bed nearest him, eyes closed, but not asleep as he talked quietly with his friend. Despite their wounds and tired bodies, they both looked content… almost happy. Why? Was it truly as Gojyo had said earlier, because they had _all_ lived? That spoke of a concern for each other stronger than their concern for themselves. Having spent so much of his life looking after only himself, the thought was alien to Sanzo.

Gojyo looked up as Sanzo crossed to the table and sat down, drawing out a cigarette and lighting it. "How's he doing?"

"Still asleep."

"Good." The redhead looked towards the bed where Goku was resting. "Think he'll sleep through the night?"

"Probably." Hakkai got up and joined them at the table. "He normally does after becoming Seiten Taisei."

There was a knock at the door, and Gojyo got up to answer it. It was their dinner, and after the serving girl left, the three began to eat quietly, reflecting on the events of the day.

"I'm glad Kanzeon showed up when she did. Things could have turned out very differently," Hakkai mused.

"Yeah. By the way, how did you get the Goddess to come?" Gojyo posed the question to Sanzo.

"I just… asked for help." It was difficult to admit, and he expected a smart-ass comment from the half-breed, but none was forthcoming.

Gojyo looked at him with something in his eyes Sanzo had never seen before. Respect and gratitude. "That couldn't have been easy for you."

It was true; asking for help from others was not something he would normally do. But he was not as uncomfortable with the thought as he had been. Had being around these three changed him so much? Had he begun relying on them so much that asking others for assistance was not as unthinkable as it had been before? Realizing that Gojyo was still watching him, waiting for a response, and unable and unwilling to put his thoughts into words, he just grunted and took a swig of his beer.

Gojyo looked at him a moment longer, and a ghost of a smile flashed across his face before he turned back to his meal. His crimson eyes said that he knew what Sanzo had not said. Changing the subject, to the monk's relief, he asked, "So are we heading out early tomorrow as usual?"

Sanzo opened his mouth to reply in the affirmative, but Hakkai beat him to it. "No. We are in no shape to travel."

Sanzo glared at their driver. "Dammit, we lost enough time today. We need to get back on the road."  

Hakkai was firm. "No. If we get attacked like we did today, the only one that is going to be able to fight is Goku, _if_ he's as unhurt as we believe he is. Gojyo's arm is badly wounded, and your shoulder needs time to recuperate… and your ribs if I'm right about why you're moving so stiffly. We all badly need a day to rest."

His tired body agreed with that statement, so Sanzo did not argue further, but for appearance's sake he scowled at both his companions. "Fine. That means we leave all the earlier the next day."

Hakkai smiled his thanks and they sank into silence again. As they finished eating, there was quiet yawning all around the table, and in unison they stood up.

"Damn, I smell like blood." Gojyo's face twisted in disgust. "I'm going for a bath before bed." He grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder, then walked out the door.

"That sounds like a great idea," Hakkai murmured. Grabbing his bag as well, he went to check on Goku before leaving. Seeing Sanzo's eyes on him as he straightened, he said softly "Don't worry, he's fine. How's your shoulder?"

"A little sore, but it's fine. Go on, enjoy your bath. I'll stay and watch him."

As the door closed behind the healer, Sanzo lit a cigarette and went to stand by the window. He would go for a bath as soon as Hakkai and Gojyo came back. He supposed he could go now, but did not like the idea of leaving Goku alone. It was silly, really. The young man was asleep, and it was doubtful he would wake before morning, but Sanzo did not want to take the chance of his charge waking and finding himself alone. Goku was always remorseful after becoming Seiten Taisei, and it would not help matters for him to think he had been abandoned by his friends.   

Sanzo shrugged out of the shoulders of his robe, wincing slightly at the soreness in his shoulder and side.  He could see the beginnings of a deep bruise where Nyoi-bou had hit him, and he scowled at it. Goku would not react well when he saw it. But when did he start to care what the saru thought? Pondering the question seriously, he answered it himself. He _did_ care, and had for awhile. He realized that extended to the others as well. He cared what they _all_ thought now. Thinking back on their journey thus far, he wondered when it had become true. Unable to pick a specific defining moment, he let the thought go. It was enough that he cared, it did not matter when it had started.

Sanzo turned back to look at his charge. They were not the only ones that needed a bath; the young man's face was covered with blood and dust. A pitcher of water had been left with their dinner, and a basin and towel sat on a shelf by the door. Sanzo dipped the towel into the water, and wiped away the blood as best he could. He was careful of the lash mark on Goku's cheek, not wanting to wake the sleeper. There was not much he could do about the bloody clothes – not even Goku would sleep through being undressed – but he did gently remove the shoulder armor and cape, leaving the youth in his t-shirt and jeans. Satisfied that he had done what he could, Sanzo returned to the window.

He was still standing by the window, smoking, when the others came in, looking clean and refreshed. "Okay, Sanzo-sama, your turn. Don't worry, we'll watch the monkey." Gojyo's irreverence did not irritate him as much as it usually did. Refusing to respond to the man's taunts, he picked up his bag and headed towards the baths, casting one last glance in the direction of the sleeping earth child.

Sinking into the hot water, Sanzo felt himself relax for the first time in what seemed like days. He breathed in the swirling steam, letting the heat fill his whole body. Choosing to take his time, he sunk lower into the water, his golden hair fanning out behind him. What a disquieting day today had been, and not just because they had had to fight Seiten Taisei. The whole experience had forced him into admitting things he thought he could not feel. Not just his concern for his charge, but his caring for his companions. Ever since Koumyou's death and his subsequent flight from the temple, he had built walls around himself, refusing to allow anyone to get close to him. Close relationships equaled pain, that was his experience. Sanzo thought he had been effective at keeping people out, but somehow these three had broken down those walls without his even realizing it. And he found that he was actually grateful for that fact. Yes, today the thought of having to shoot Goku had devastated him, but it was the strength of those around him that had given him another alternative. Without that support, he would have lost something dear to him. It was almost funny how an event that had come so close to ending all their lives had given him insight into what he stood to lose.

Sanzo sighed as the water cooled around him. Grabbing a cloth, he washed off the remains of dirt and blood, taking special care to clean his hair. Leaving any indication of the events that had transpired would only cause Goku more pain. Not that there was much to be done about the bruises and scratches that marred his skin. Finally clean to his satisfaction, he stood and wrapped a towel around his waist. Getting out of the bath, he caught sight of himself in the mirror. With his hair slicked down and back, the chakra on his forehead stood out in startling contrast to his pale skin. His mark of being close to the gods. He scoffed at the thought. Despite the help of the Merciful Goddess today, he still did not feel close to the gods. The gods were the ones that had gotten them all in this bloody mess to begin with.

Sanzo paused in his drying as a sudden thought occurred to him. Without this journey, he never would have had the opportunity to really get to know his three… friends; would never have gotten to observe their strengths and weaknesses and see how much stronger they were as a group. He felt that he finally understood the order of the Sanbutsushin to 'trust the eyes of your heart.' Feeling oddly lightened, he finished drying and put on a clean pair of jeans and a loose shirt. Wrinkling his nose at the state his robe was in, he considered whether to attempt to clean it or just get rid of it. It wasn't like he didn't have a spare robe. Looking it over carefully, he noticed that it was mostly just dirty, not torn as he had thought. Since they were going to be here another day, he might as well drop it off to be cleaned. Throwing it over his shoulder, he padded down the hallway to their room, leaving wet footprints in his wake.

When he slipped into the room, it was quiet. Hakkai seemed to already be asleep, but Gojyo was slouched at the table, cigarette in hand. Seeing the monk return, he snubbed out the smoke and stood, giving Sanzo a small salute before dragging himself to bed. Light snores drifted up mere moments after his head hit the pillow. Sanzo let an amused smile through his defenses as he looked at the sleeping half-breed. Quietly setting his bag down, he found that while he was tired, his mind was too active for sleep. Stopping to make sure Goku was still sleeping peacefully, he slipped into Gojyo's abandoned chair and lit up. Putting his bare feet up on the table, he dropped his head back against the top chair rung. He stared at the ceiling, violet eyes taking in the cracked and worn boards, and the small fan that rotated slowly. It was a room like so many they had shared these past few years, but tonight it felt different. Tonight he was not bemoaning the loss of his privacy. Tonight he was relishing the warmth of being surround by friends.

 Sanzo raised his head and looked at the first bed that came into view. Hakkai. The one who was probably the closest to him in background and general temperament. They certainly shared the same dislike of rain, and similar reasons for it. Hakkai was the peacemaker in their group, always stepping in when things between the rest of them got too heated. Sanzo could not count the number of times that he had been stopped from burying a bullet in Gojyo's head by Hakkai's calming words. The healer gave of himself completely, choosing his companions safety and comfort over his own. No matter how badly hurt he was, he always tried to help the others first. Hakkai best understood his pain of losing someone close to him. And despite that, the man-turned-youkai still encouraged him to find happiness with Goku. Why? Was it the death of Cho Gonou and the rebirth of Cho Hakkai? Had that given him some insight into how unexpected life really was? That you never know what's going to happen, so it's important to take things when you can? That _the __benefits of being with him could outweigh the risks involved? _That was what Hakkai had said, and Sanzo thought he understood a little better now. But it was not true just for Goku, it was true for them all. The benefits of being close to his friends _did_ outweigh the risks involved. He had seen that today.

Turning his head slightly, he caught sight of the next bed. Gojyo. Before today, he would have described the half-breed as nothing more than a pain in his ass. The man went out of his way to annoy him and to press the boundaries of his temper and his personal space. But there was more to him than that. His skill in battle was unquestionable – that even Sanzo would willingly admit. But beyond that, surprisingly, of the four of them Gojyo was probably the most loyal to the rest. His day-to-day actions hid the little things he did that made it obvious he was devoted to his friends. While his teasing and fighting with Goku drove Sanzo to distraction, he was also quick to offer compassion to the young man. He could not be sure, but given the change in Goku's attitude after a night rooming with Gojyo, the redhead must have said something comforting. And his support of Hakkai was obvious. Even with his own bleeding wound today, his concern for Hakkai had been first and foremost in his mind.

A final turn of his head, and the third bed came into view. Feeling the need to be closer, Sanzo got up and straddled the chair near the bed, chin resting on the top rung. Goku. The object of both his irritation and, lately, his desire and confusion. He could not understand why he was so attracted to someone who annoyed him so much on a regular basis, but Sanzo found that he could not imagine life any other way. Life without Goku would be… boring. The young youkai exhibited a spirit and determination that kept them all going whenever they got discouraged. He had an incredible love of life, after having been denied its pleasures for so long. It was one of the things that attracted Sanzo to him. And his new maturity was intriguing. With that maturity had come a new level of responsibility and power… the earth child was powerful, that was certainly true. More powerful than they still knew, most likely, and frightening as well, as they had seen today. Only time and further learning would give Goku the knowledge he needed to fully control it. Thinking about the events of today made Sanzo shiver. The despair that had filled him when the sutra had rebounded off Seiten Taisei's ki shield had frightened him as much as anything he had ever faced. He had never been so close to giving up. He had not thought he was the type to ever give up. But the thought of having to lose Goku like that… Sanzo shook his head, trying to drive the thought out of his mind. It was over, it hadn't happened, there was no reason to dwell on it.

Sanzo lit another cigarette and found himself thinking instead about the reasons for it. Seiten Taisei had emerged because of Goku's fear for his life. Not for his own life, but for Sanzo's life. It was the one thing that could truly frighten the fearless fighter, the thought of losing his sun. Wouldn't their having a relationship just make that fear worse? Would being closer to Goku make the young man even more protective? Was it _possible_ for him to be more protective? And what of himself? Was there something he could do to stop this from happening in the future? Their road was a dangerous and bloody one, and he was only mortal. Despite his best intentions, it was doubtful that they would reach their destination in the west without his being hurt again. How could he reassure Goku that he wasn't going to leave him when he himself did not know if it was true? Sanzo pondered the question for a while, and realized that it was a key point in his decision of whether or not he could allow himself to return Goku's love. Would allowing this to happen cause future pain or future happiness for Goku? For himself? He depended on Goku's strength in battle, and on his own strength of will. Goku depended on him for… well, for everything, really. He was the bringer of light, of freedom, of happiness for Goku. How could he not respond to that kind of adoration? But was it simply adoration? Or had adoration long ago deepened into love? The ramifications frightened him.  

Sanzo tried to think things through without allowing emotion to cloud his mind. Goku loved him, that was a fact. The young man had admitted it last night, though the monk had known it before that. And himself? He cared deeply about Goku, he had admitted that to Hakkai. Did he love him? Sanzo was still unsure. There were so many connotations to the word that confused and worried him. Goku had allowed him to make the choice of where things went from here. So what did he want to do? Could he allow himself to pursue a relationship with someone he cared about and who cared about him? Why couldn't he? Because of a fear of loss? With Goku's skill in battle, it was more likely for Sanzo to fall. The rare times the young man got hurt were normally due to his protecting Sanzo. Would that really change if Sanzo refused him? Probably not. Goku was likely to be devoted to him until his death. Goku would not grow up and leave him. So the only other possible loss would be to Seiten Taisei.

A new idea began to grow in the monk's mind. Could loving Goku actually _help_ him keep from losing control? Sanzo gazed down at the sleeping young man. They already had an unbreakable bond, and love could only strengthen it. Would that stronger bond allow him to reach Goku during time of crisis, to reassure him? To become an anchor of sorts? And if it did not, how could it make things worse? The circumstances that allowed Seiten Taisei to reach the surface could still happen whether he admitted love or not.

Sanzo got up from the chair and sat on the edge of Goku's bed. The youkai slept like the dead; there was not much chance of waking him. Running his fingers lightly through the young man's hair, Sanzo contemplated the relaxed face in front of him. Such childlike innocence and peace, even in sleep. He gently traced the lash mark marring that smooth face. Feeling the touch even in deep sleep, Goku stirred and pressed into the contact. In a voice so quiet that Sanzo had to lean in to hear him, Goku spoke a single word. "Sanzo." There was nothing but love in the saying of his name. It was that simple word which finally gave Sanzo the answer he had been seeking. How could he refuse a partner who had so much love for him even during sleep? He could not, it was that simple. The decision filled him with tranquility, and he leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to Goku's forehead. Resolving to talk to the young man as soon as they were alone, Sanzo rose and went to his own bed. Getting comfortable under the blankets, he found himself feeling as Goku must each day, filled with the joy of the future. Sanzo closed his eyes and slept. 

A/N:

Ahhh, finally settled in (If an air mattress and the computer on the floor can be considered settled in), and I got my high-speed connection today, so I'm back in business! Sorry about making you wait a little longer than I would have normally, believe me, not having a connection for 3 days was just torture! But enough of that, here's the next chapter. I love Sanzo here. There are so many images of him that just make me drool all over my keyboard. Something about him and bare feet just sets me off.

Stitcher2ficcer, my thanks as always.

My God, we are almost to 250 reviews! You guys loved ch.11 and 12 as much as I did! Thank you, each and every one of you.

SD: Sentimental? I'm not sure about that one. Maybe sappy at times, but I can't help it! J

Me-Nuriko: Yes! I am back, I am connected again, and I will email you tonight! I hate being out of touch. I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I'm glad you liked Kanzeon, she was important to what Sanzo needed to learn.

Zek Majiri: I agree, he really does need to ask for help more often. It was fun to humble him a little! The evil things we authors can do!

Nikki: Thanks! I love them in bed, but I like them fighting as well. They are sexy that way! I'm glad I took you by surprise with the way I ended things, I was hoping I would. We will have to wait to see if there is a happily ever after, though it wouldn't be much of a SanzoxGoku fic without one, would it? I think this chapter gives you a little insight into what will happen.

SuGaR aNiMe FrEaK: Poor Goku, hiding from Ran! I can't image why he'd want to hide from a sugar-hyped Ran. And you actually got Sanzo to agree to be there! That's pretty good negotiating skills. I'm looking forward to more.

Mei Yanohi: Holy Jesus Shit? That's not one I've heard before, but I appreciate the thought behind it. I'm happy you liked 12, I was pretty proud of how it came out. I'm waiting to see your review on this one. You recognized the scene you drew for me, right?

Eclipse45: I'm glad you liked it. When I'm writing this I can see what's going on in my head, so knowing that I'm doing a decent job of allowing my readers to do the same makes me happy.

katie: I'm glad Seiten Taisei scared you, that means I was doing my job!

Pervasive Threnody: I very much enjoyed the Pocky, thanks! I have to admit, I started watching Saiyuki dubbed, so Greg's voice is the one I hear in my mind. I actually love the show subbed or dubbed, and I try to watch each episode both ways, just to see the difference. I can't get enough of our beautiful bishies!

Stitcher2ficcer: Now, now, be nice. It's not nice to torment the other readers with what you know. I hope your right about them loving it, though!

Silver on the Tree: Despite their encounter at the beginning of this story, I felt they both needed to do some growing and thinking before they could reasonably commit to a real relationship. Sanzo especially needed to come to terms with not only how he felt about Goku, but how he felt about all of them. Don't worry about repeating things, I always love to hear them!

Nozomi Anshin: hehe Maybe you're right, but then it wouldn't have been as much fun! (For me at least!)

Bleedformeee: I want to hear all about FanimeCon. I presume it must be this weekend? What are you cosplaying as? I've got an idea for a costume for next ACEN, we will have to see if I get energetic enough to actually do something about it.

Mitsko: Have you seen any more Gunlock? I have 8 downloading right now. 7 is pretty funny, Sanzo gets turned into a tree! God, I love these guys!

Merf: I'm glad you liked it, and I hope you don't think I got too sappy/OOC with Sanzo here. He has to get a _little_ sappy in order for this all to work out, but I'm trying to do it in character with the development of the story.

Phoe-chan: Seiten Taisei is just deliciously chilling, isn't he? Hope you liked this chappie as well.

Crimson1: I can't believe how many people were worried that I was actually going to have Sanzo shoot Seiten Taisei. Not much romance involved if that had happened! I can't promise he won't be angry with himself when he wakes up, he normally takes what he does as ST pretty hard, and now that there is a deeper relationship growing with Sanzo, he probably isn't going to be too happy.

Saiyuki G.H.S.G: Thanks! I loved the way Gojyo stepped in to stop Sanzo in ch.12, he can be such a great guy when he wants to. Writing him has definitely made me love him more.

huh: I'm glad you are liking my characterizations. I'm trying to stay as true to them as I can. You'll have to wait to find out about Goku waking up until next chapter, but I hope this suffices in the meantime.

NemKess: Wow, that's quite the compliment. I had so much fun writing it, I'm glad you enjoyed it so much.

rhoda: I'm not scared of Sanzo, he owes me for what I let him do later. He was fun to humble, though!

chibisanzo: Yeah, that was pretty unusual for him, wasn't it? He had to face that he couldn't do everything by himself.

KazeShinai: A little fluff here, not too much though. Just wait, it's coming.

Shelley: I love to hear from readers who have been following my story. I hang on every review, wanting to know what you guys think. I'm happy you are liking this so much. I can't wait to get your glowing reviews! (Sanzo and Goku in wedding dresses? Now there's a pic I'd like to see!)

gallatica: I can't believe I got to meet them either. It was soooo great! And I will never forget Greg saying that line, I think of it when I'm writing! I've been trying to email you, but it says your hotmail account is full. Send me an email when you get it cleared a little, I want to stay in touch!

Klee5: Don't worry, I haven't forgotten you! I'm looking forward to more chapters, but you just _can't_ put Tenpou and Goku together! Poor Sanzo!

Bakasaru Boi: Yeah, they stopped him, but there is still a price to pay, at least for Goku. And that's all I'm going to say about that for right now. Hope with the summer here you have more time for Saiyuki fanfics!

Am1-13th: Nice to have you back again. No lemon here, be patient.

Kisariko: Thanks for the compliment. Hope you like Sanzo here. (Is wonderfullizm a word? If not, it should be, it's fun!)

ForsakenOn3: Any time Seiten Taisei shows up, you know it's going to be bloody and violent. I'm glad you thought it was interesting.

Dragon keeper: You go from threatening me to being my loyal fan? LOL! I'm happy to have a loyal fan! I am your source of life? O.O That's quite the compliment. You are a sweetie. I love blueberry muffins, and they go great with lemonade. I'll enjoy them while I'm writing! No stars, but here's a hug. **_Gives dragon keeper a big hug_**

Stranger: Your review made me laugh. You must not have read very many Saiyuki fics if you are asking that question. Easily half of the fics involve the guys together, and the pairings are numerous. We just love to put our beautiful bishies together, they are great that way. I don't really think of them as being gay (though I don't have a problem with it), I think of them as loving someone they have a deep and abiding connection with. But that's just me. I hope you try out and enjoy the many great Saiyuki fics out there, both gen and shounen-ai. If you want some suggestions, send me an email, I've read most of the ones on ff.net.


	14. Pain and Revelations

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 14: Pain and Revelations

When Goku awoke, it was to a darkness that pressed down on him, filling his body and soul. He gasped, desperately trying to fill his lungs, to dispel the gloom in which he was sunk. Panic flared, bright and hot, searing his flesh. He curled into a ball, shaking uncontrollably, crying soundlessly for someone, anyone, to hear his pain. He could feel the oppressive weight of the chains on his wrists and ankles, every bit as real as the heavy pressure of the diadem on his head. None of it was real, nothing was real, and he was still trapped, caged like the wild animal he was. He pulled against the restraints, but his muscles failed him like everything else had, and he remained ensnared. A keening cry filled the air, his own cry, and the sorrow and longing took his own breath away. Despair broke over him like a wave, and he shrunk away from it, falling off the edge of reality into a downward spiraling madness.

He came to himself after hitting the floor, hard. He lay where he had fallen, breathing heavily, trying to reassure himself that he was not in that prison any longer, that Sanzo had set him free long ago. Finally opening his eyes, he was smothered by the darkness in the room. The despair began to overtake him again, and he struggled to his knees, crawling towards the only source of light he could see. Blinking away the tears that threatened to spill, he made it to the window and pulled himself up, drinking in the sight of the setting moon. Goku laid his head against the cool glass and tried to calm himself. That had been the most frightening thing he'd had to experience in a long time. Finally managing to get a slight grip on his reeling emotions, he turned to look around him… and froze. It was his worst nightmare come true. Lying in their beds in a gross parody of sleep, the bodies of his friends stared back at him with unseeing eyes. Voices sprung up around him, whispering, screaming, taunting, blaming. "You did this. You killed them. Monster! You killed the ones you love!" They started to laugh, filling the room with the noise until it became deafening. He tried to scream, but what came out was a high-pitched laugh, tinted with madness. Tears streamed down his face as he laughed and laughed, as his hair grew, as his nails turned into claws, as his ears lengthened into points, as his vision sharpened into that of a night creature. And still he continued to laugh as the darkness surrounded him, pulling him down.

A sharp blow to the back of his head finally brought him back to reality. His eyes flew open, and while he was still in darkness, it was the normal darkness of very early morning. He seemed to be afloat on a sea of black, unable to adjust his eyes to see beyond the borders of his bed. His head was still throbbing, and he ran a hand over it tentatively. From his position, it seemed that he had hit his head on the wall behind him as he tried to get away from the terrors that haunted him. Forcing himself to stay immobile as his eyes adjusted to the low light from the single window in the room, he strained to see through the gloom. Shadows resolved themselves into shapes, and his breath caught in his throat. He was surrounded by three beds containing the bodies of his friends, just as he had dreamed. A scream threatened to break free as his chest tightened, but he swallowed down his panic. Goku's trembling limbs refused to hold his weight, and he half crawled, half dragged himself to Sanzo's bedside. For a moment he did nothing, too frozen by terror to confirm his greatest fear. After a few choking moments he realized he could no longer feel his own heartbeat. His lungs no longer pumped for air. The body before him breathed deeply in and out while Goku waited for the painful tightening in his own lungs and the world of black that would induct him into the quiet night. As he waited and wondered what to do with the last moments of his life, Sanzo turned towards him in sleep and breathed into him. Finally released from the spell, Goku collapsed fully onto the floor.

He lay there, counting each breath that streamed into his body, returning life to his deadened limbs. Sanzo was okay, he was okay, it had all been a dream. As his breathing began to calm, he took stock of himself. He _hurt_. Everything was sore, including a stinging sensation on his cheek. Raising a hand, he found a long scratch he didn't remember getting. Seeing his hand close up, he realized it was covered with dried blood. He had not noticed it before, but his whole body was blood-spattered. What was going on? Why was it night? What had happened to fill his dreams with such terror? He tried to recall the last thing he remembered. There was a battle. A huge army of youkai. A woman on a roof. He had been fighting, and Sanzo had fallen. He had panicked, rage filling him, then… nothing. Just his horror-filled dreams. Dread began to choke him again. That was why his limiter felt odd, different somehow. He had become _him_. Seiten Taisei, the monster always held barely at bay.

Moving as quickly as his aching limbs would allow, Goku got to his knees and peered at Sanzo closely. Scratches marred the pale skin, and a darkening bruise covered the visible skin of the man's shoulder. He had done this, he had hurt Sanzo. Shame and disgust threatened to overwhelm him. Wanting to remove the most visible sign of his folly, Goku lightly touched his fingertips to the mark. The monk stirred, but did not awaken, a sure sign of his exhaustion. Sending a slow flow of ki though his hand, Goku watched as the bruise faded, then disappeared from sight. The job finished, he sat back on his heels and watched Sanzo sleep. The man was going to be furious with him for losing control again. All his efforts to get close to him had probably been for naught now. Things had been going so well; this couldn't have happened at a worse time. How could Sanzo view him with anything other than disgust after what he had done?

Goku was filled with remorse. Wishing he could rewrite the events of the day, he stood and made his way to Gojyo's bed. Looking the man over, he did not see anything wrong… until Goku got to his arm. A slash from wrist to elbow, partially healed, stood out as a silent reminder of his transgression. The half-breed was a heavy sleeper, so there was less chance of waking him, but he still made sure not to touch him more than necessary. It took more ki to heal him than he had used for Sanzo, but the damage had been more. The green light reflected off gracefully flowing red hair, turning it a sickly color, reminding him of the death he had dreamed in those crimson eyes. When the wound was healed, he turned to Hakkai. The healer had a cut across his brow that was healed easily enough, and finally Goku stepped back, his despair only slightly lessened by his relief that he had been able to undo some of the damage he had wrought. Closing his eyes for a moment, he found himself back at Sanzo's bed without realizing that he had moved. The man's sleep tonight was not as peaceful as it had been last night, and a faint creasing of his brow bespoke pain from an injury he could not see. He was trying to figure out how he could do something about it when a voice spoke out of the darkness behind him.

"Goku."

He whirled around, scanning the room for the speaker. Gojyo was standing a little ways behind him, flexing his newly healed arm. In the shadows of the room his hair and eyes were black and his skin ghostly, making him look like an apparition from the netherworld. Goku took a step back before he could stop himself.

Gojyo smiled slightly. "You didn't have to do this."

Goku knew what he was talking about, and bitterness colored his voice "I did have to. I caused it."

The redhead waved the statement away. "It wasn't you, we all know that."

Goku refused to be pacified. In a panicked tone, he said, "But it was me! I did this with my own two hands. I hurt you all."

"Shhh! You don't want to wake the others. They need their sleep," Gojyo hissed at him. "We don't need the cranky monk waking up and taking pot shots at us. One friend trying to kill us is enough for me." The joke fell flat in the tension between them and Gojyo sighed. "Don't blame yourself, Goku We don't. Just… try not to let it happen again. This time… we weren't too sure we would get you back."

It was a shocking statement and Goku could only gape at him for a moment. "What… what happened?" His voice wavered with the deep sorrow he felt.

"Goku." Hakkai slipped out of bed and padded over to them. "It's still early. You need to sleep, we all do. Try not to worry about it. We're all fine now, and we'll tell you about it later."

He wanted to argue, but even in the dim light he could plainly see the fatigue on Gojyo's and Hakkai's faces. "I'm sorry I woke you. Go back to bed." When he did not move towards his own, the two hesitated, but he attempted to smile. "Go on, I'm just gonna go clean up." Pulling on his boots, he grabbed his bag and quickly walked out of the room, feeling their eyes on his back.

Sanzo awoke to the sound of the door closing and his friends talking quietly near his bed.

"Do you think he's okay?" That was Gojyo, concern evident in the man's voice. "I've never seen him so depressed. He's blaming himself even more than he did before." Apparently Goku was upset at what had happened. Not surprising, he always felt guilty after becoming Seiten Taisei.

"There isn't much we can do about it right now. We'll talk to him later, when we are all better rested. Though really, there is only one person who can help this situation." Hakkai this time. Sanzo sighed. He knew what was being implied.

Gojyo was quiet for a moment, then held out his arm. "See this? He healed me. Looks like he got your forehead as well."

Hakkai ran a finger over his brow, where the painful cut had been. "Yes, he did. Atonement for his perceived sins, perhaps?"

"Whatever it is, the look on his face was frightening. He looked ancient, and incredibly sorrowful." The half-breed's voice held its own hint of sadness. "I can't help but feel bad for him. It can't be easy to face the fact that you tried to kill your friends."

"No, it can't be. One of us should go talk to him. I don't like the idea of him being alone right now."

That was his cue. Sitting up, Sanzo scowled at the two. "Damn it, is it really too much to ask to get a decent night's sleep?" He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood. The youkai and half-youkai looked at him expectantly. "Fine, I'll go talk to the monkey. Go back to bed before you collapse." The tiredness was evident on both their faces, and Hakkai was swaying where he stood. Pausing just a moment to grab his cigarettes and lighter, Sanzo strode towards the door, resisting the urge to slam it behind him.

Sanzo scanned the hallway, not finding Goku in sight. Sighing again, he walked towards the kitchen. Maybe the young man had decided he was hungry, though it was not likely. He just did not have anywhere else to start looking. Passing a window, a familiar silhouette made him pause. Goku was sitting outside on a small bench, his shoulders slumped and his head hung low, the picture of misery. Even Sanzo's heart was wrenched by the sight. Despite his desire to share the conclusions he had come to last night with the young youkai, Sanzo knew this was not the time. Goku needed comfort, something he was not familiar with giving, and it was with uneasy steps that he walked outside and laid his hand on the earth child's shoulder.

Goku had found the closest bathroom down the hall, but did not go inside. As much as he wanted to wash the blood away, he needed time to think, away from the cuts on Sanzo's skin and the visible exhaustion overpowering his friends. Exhaustion that he had caused. Glancing out a window, he saw a small bench on the front patio. The front door was unlocked, so he made his way outside and sat down, setting his bag on the ground beside him. His mind was in turmoil, his emotions eating away at his self-control. Despite Gojyo's and Hakkai's kind words, he felt guilty for causing them pain. If only he had not lost control, if only he had not panicked at seeing Sanzo fall, if only… the regrets rushed through his mind. He was nothing but a monster, a danger to those he cared most about. They were on this journey to stop the resurrection of a monster who could destroy the world, and one of their group was as much of a monster. He did not deserve their concern and care. Sanzo never should have brought him down from his mountain prison. There was a reason he had been chained there for 500 years, and while he still did not know what it was, he was beginning to have an inkling of what might have occurred. He was so caught up in his grief that he didn't hear the door open and the footsteps approach him. It was not until a hand descended on his shoulder that he realized he was no longer alone. Whipping around, he looked into the face of the one person he was most afraid to see: his keeper, his sun, the man he loved.

The monk sat down beside him and lit a cigarette, saying nothing, but there was no hostility in his movements. The silence stretched between them until Goku could not take it anymore. "Sanzo, I—"

Sanzo cut him off. "What are you doing up?"

It was an unexpected question, and Goku blinked before answering. "I… needed some fresh air."

"Ch'. So you woke us all up because you needed fresh air?"

"Sorry." Goku looked down at the hands twisting in his lap. Yet another thing he had done wrong. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Look at me." Unable to resist the tone, Goku did as commanded. Sanzo's voice was harsh, his face expressionless, but there was compassion in his violet eyes. It surprised him even through his depression. "Are you sure that's the only reason you are up and wandering around?"

This was not at all the way he had expected the conversation to go. The fan was nowhere in sight, and Sanzo had not yelled at him yet. This only served to shake him even more. He did not deserve to be treated like a fellow human being.  "Yes… No… I don't know." The bruise on Sanzo's shoulder still hung in his mind's eye, chilling his blood. He did not know what to say.

Sanzo pinned him with a direct gaze. "You wouldn't be feeling guilty about what happened, would you?"

Goku finally wrenched his eyes away, directing them back towards the shaking hands in his lap. "Shouldn't I? Isn't that a normal emotion for someone who tries to slaughter his friends?" His self-loathing was a tangible presence between them.

"Stop. It's over and nothing you can do will change it. Don't dwell on it like an idiot."

That was hardly fair, considering who had said it and his brooding in the rain. Goku scowled up at the monk. "That's rich coming from you." As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he waited for the blow, wanting the physical reminder of his emotional pain.

Instead of anger, amusement flickered through Sanzo's eyes. Trapped in his haze of resentment and bitterness, Goku was stunned at the monk's good mood despite what had happened. He wondered what had brought about the uncharacteristic attitude. Sanzo coughed to cover his momentary slip, and scowled at Goku. "We aren't talking about me, we're talking about you. Quit evading the subject."

"I'm not," Goku cried. "How can I help but feel guilty? I hurt you, I hurt all of you. Again… I lost control, and I could have killed you." His voice dropped to a whisper as he contemplated his still blood-spattered hands and clothing. "Blood, your blood, Sanzo, is still on my hands." The whisper trailed into silence as despair washed over him.

"We all have more blood on our hands than we're comfortable with. But you didn't kill us, and we all survived."

He watched warily as Sanzo stood up, looming in front of him. Expecting a whack, he screwed his eyes shut and braced himself. What came was not the fan, but a comforting hand twining itself into his hair. His eyes flew open and he looked up in shock at the blonde. Sanzo was looking down at him with concern on his face. It was almost more than he could bear.

"Goku, nothing I can say will make you feel better. Only you can do that. But know that we don't blame you. _I_ don't blame you. We're just glad to have you back with us."

Gojyo had said the same thing, but it was more reassuring to hear it from Sanzo. The darkness enveloping him receded for a moment, and Goku gave his caretaker a tentative smile. An answering smile appeared on Sanzo's face for just a moment, then disappeared, but the hand on his head remained. Keeping his eyes trained on the monk, Goku saw something he could not identify flash through the violet eyes, and he felt the hand slide down to caress his cheek lightly. The fingertips lingered for a second, then were gone, and Sanzo turned away from him. Despite the ghostly warmth that still lingered on his cheek, he felt the acrimony close over him again.

"Come on saru, we can still get a couple more hours of sleep. Hakkai has insisted that we stay in town another day, so we get to sleep in, and I for one am going to take advantage of that."

"Sanzo…"

The man paused in his forward movement, but did not turn to face him. Goku stood and addressed his comments to Sanzo's back. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you treating me like this? Like I… deserve your care?"

Sanzo turned then, surprise evident on his face. "What?"

"I'm a monster. I want nothing more than to protect you, but instead I become a… a _thing_ that tries to take your life. And Gojyo's and Hakkai's… I nearly destroy our mission…Why are you treating me like I deserve to stay with you?"

The blonde frowned, displeasure making the violet eyes spark with anger. "Is that what you think? That you're a monster?"

"Just answer the damn question!" He could not control the emotions running rampant through him.

Sanzo strode forward and whipped out the fan, striking him smartly over the head. "Don't think so highly of yourself that you could end my life," he hissed. "I fully intend to live to be an old man, and when I do die, it won't be at your hands."

"I saw it! I saw the bruise on your shoulder. _I _did that! If that blow had landed on your head, you would be dead now."

Sanzo looked like he wanted to hit him again, but refrained. Sighing quietly, his eyes softened. "Goku, you aren't a monster. Would a monster have healed the very wounds he'd inflicted?"

Goku had no answer to the query, and turned away. He wanted to run from the comfort Sanzo was offering, unable to accept it, but he had to know. "You still haven't answered my question."

"I'm treating you like you deserve to stay because you do. What happened yesterday doesn't change all the good that you've done. You are still needed on this journey, no matter what you might think. We need your strength. I need your strength. I… want you to stay with me."

Whatever it was that he had expected Sanzo to say, that was not it. Goku whirled around, gaping at his keeper, at a loss for words. When he finally found his voice, it was barely a whispered stutter. "Are… are you serious?… After what I did?"

"When do I say things I don't mean?" The monk looked slightly uncomfortable at his confession, unaccustomed as he was to being so honest about his feelings. "I told you, what happened yesterday changes nothing. You are still you." He looked like he wanted to add something more to his statement, but didn't.

Goku stepped closer to him, scrutinizing every line in Sanzo's face, every facet of his eyes. "You… really… want me to stay?"

Sanzo looked him square in the eye and said softly, "Yes."

His breath caught in his throat. "But why? Aren't you afraid the same thing will happen again, and you won't be able to stop me?"

Sanzo sighed and looked away. "We were barely able to stop you this time. The first limiter I put on you broke again almost immediately. You were too powerful. And then you deflected the power of the sutra. I was prepared to shoot you, to end your life before you could end anyone else's." The monk paused, and they locked eyes.

"Why didn't you?" Goku breathed.

"I would have, had Gojyo not reminded me that the Goddess of Mercy had limited you before. I asked for her help, and together we were finally able to limit you. The power you now contain because of your ki abilities is beyond my ability to control, Goku. So yes, the thought is troublesome, but I'm not going to let it rule my actions. And you shouldn't either."

Goku took another step, narrowing the distance between them. In his current state of mind, he was prone to doubt the man's words, but there was no room for questions in Sanzo's expression. "So what are you saying?" He did not know why he was pressing, but all of a sudden the monk's answer was more important than anything.

"That I want you with me." Sanzo's voice was low, and he was looking more uncomfortable with each word he spoke.

"How?" Goku whispered the word and took another step.

Sanzo hesitated for an instant, as if unsure how much to say. "In all ways."

Before Goku could respond, Sanzo leaned forward and captured his lips. It was in the action more than the words that Goku got his answer. Maintaining the kiss, Sanzo wound an arm around his hips, pulling him forward. The movement off-balanced him slightly, and he placed a hand on the monk's chest to steady himself. Deciding he liked feeling the heartbeat under his palm, Goku left it there, and laid his other hand on Sanzo's cheek, running it back to tangle in the soft golden hair. Sanzo's lips offered not just respite from his misery, but more, so much more. Withdrawing slightly, he paused just a moment to ask, "You're sure?"

The reply was whispered against his lips. "I'm sure." The words hung in the air as Goku took the comfort and compassion that was being extended to him. They remained there, caught up in their wordless communication, until the necessity to breathe broke them apart. Goku laid his head on Sanzo's shoulder, ghosting a kiss against his neck. The monk tightened the grasp around his waist and ran his free hand up Goku's spine, holding him close. In all their passionate moments, Sanzo had never just held him, and Goku felt his heart swelling with love for the man. "Why?" he breathed into Sanzo's skin.

The reply was quiet, with just a hint of belligerence. "Because I almost lost you. Isn't that enough?"

It was. It was all he needed.

The sound of the inn's door opening broke the silence, and they moved apart, though Sanzo reached out and laid a hand on the younger man's arm to keep him from going far. Hakkai stood on the porch, turned slightly away from them as if to protect their privacy.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to make sure everything was okay."

"We're fine," Sanzo answered for them both.

"That's good to hear. I… noticed you out here, and took the liberty of renting another room for our use. I'll just leave the key." Hakkai laid a key on the small bench they had been sitting on earlier and left them alone.

His pain temporarily relieved by the monk's revelations, Goku smiled tentatively up at Sanzo. The man squeezed his arm gently and led him over to the bench, grabbing the key as Goku picked up his bag. The younger man hung back for a moment, uncertainty making him hesitate. At his lack of movement, Sanzo looked back. "Come on. Come back to bed."

Goku looked deep into his eyes, and was reassured by what he found there. Nodding slightly in answer, he followed Sanzo into the inn.

A/N: Whew, another chapter finished! Holy cow, I can't believe how quickly we are jumping up in reviews! Over 275 reviews already! You guys are just amazing! **_Hands out yummy double chocolate chip cookies I made myself_** You all make every word I write worth it!

Stitcher2ficcer, it's always so much fun to work with you!

Akiko Koishii: Thanks for the warm words! Your story has an interesting plot, I'm looking forward to seeing more.

sweetxkare: Thank you! I hope this was quick enough for you! (I couldn't help myself, I wanted to post this chapter early!)

KazeShinai: I'm glad you liked 13, I hope you liked this one as well.

Pervasive Threnody: You're right, Goku does need a little comfort, and Sanzo is willing to provide. Isn't he sweet?

dream-eater-is-hungry: Yeah, Sanzo is taken, but by Goku! Goku will be pissed if you try to take his man away! But yeah, Sanzo _is_ sexy and drop dead gorgeous! Yaone shouldn't be surprised about Kougaiji though, doesn't she know about him and Doku? So if Sanzo is number 1 on your list, and Kougaiji is on there, then who is the third?

Lord J: No, I haven't seen you review before, but I'm glad you are now! I understand about the beginning, I'm not that happy with it either, but I'm glad you like the rest of it!

Silver on the Tree: You are so sweet! I really appreciate what you said about keeping Sanzo in character despite the slightly sappy circumstances. Hope Sanzo didn't hurt you too badly!

Eclipse45: Everyone keeps trying to steal Sanzo from Goku! Better watch out, he's going to get really angry! I'm glad you liked the Sanzo wet footprints image, that was my favorite! I find it sooo sexy! You're right, Goku does need a hug! Good thing he has Sanzo there!

Huh: You do a dance when I update? That's funny! I'm glad it makes you happy though! Yeah, getting this many reviews is awesome, it just confirms to me how great my reviewers are!

Chibisanzo: You're right about Goku, he isn't exactly happy with himself. And I'm not telling about the ending, you'll have to wait and see!

Me-Nuriko: I'm glad you liked Sanzo, and I've really enjoyed talking with you! I hope we can keep it up even after this is over!

Zek Majiri: Thanks for the compliment on Sanzo, I worked really hard on him. I liked your blurb, it was interesting, and I'm curious on what you are going to do with it.

SuGaR aNiMe FrEak: Gojyo is so naughty! Ran, you were wise to drop the gun, Sanzo can be scary!

goku-the-saru: I'm glad to see you got an account, welcome to ff.net! You should write something, preferably something SanzoxGoku! hehe I'm glad you are still liking my story!

Anne: Thanks, I'm glad you are liking this so much! I hope this was soon enough for you! Thanks for the compliment on my grammar, it's something that bothers me as well. A story has to have an incredibly good plot for me to overlook bad grammar.

Mitsko: Yeah, a tree, it's pretty funny. I just downloaded Gunlock 9, but I haven't watched it yet. I wish I could speak Japanese, it would make watching the raws make more sense!

Shelley: Thanks for the compliment on Sanzo! I love it when people tell me I'm doing a good job with him, I just love him so much! I would _love_ to see the pics if you want to scan them in. Just send them to the email on my profile. I want to see them in wedding dresses!

Chibi Wingzero: Don't worry about reviewing before, I'm glad you are now. Sanzo has come around slowly, it's nice to see that things are working out for them!

Dragon Keeper: Thank you for the cookies, what kind are they? I like cookies! I don't have a sister, I'd love to have you as mine! You got your wish, Goku woke up, but it wasn't pleasant for him. So here is your early chapter, I hope you liked it!

musegurl18: LOL! Yeah, I guess it was kind of sentimental. My story is addictive? O.O I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not! I really appreciate the compliment on my characterizations though, I've tried really hard. No, I don't think anyone has told me I make them fall in love along with the characters, but I'm glad to hear it! It means I'm doing my job. One of the reasons I wanted to write this was to share my love of the SanzoxGoku pairing with everyone, and your comments make it seem like I'm achieving that. Thank you!

bleedformeee: You say you can't tell me enough, but I can't hear it enough! I _want_ to know that people are still loving what I'm writing! Have a great time at FanimeCon! Did you get your cosplay outfit done? I can't wait to hear about it!

Shiomi: Glad you reviewed, I always like to know who's been following me on this journey. Glad you liked the chapter, hope this one is up to snuff.

Nikki: Sorry, Goku didn't wake up in Sanzo's arms, but I hope the rest of the chapter made up for it. I put the poor guy through quite a bit of angst at the beginning, didn't I? Poor Goku!

Sussi: Not telling on the chapter thing, but we are getting close. Thanks for the compliment on my writing!

Crimson1: Yeah, I agree, it is about time Sanzo figures it out! I'm glad you like this, anything else on your plate? I'm going into withdrawal now that 'Don't Speak' is done.

Phoe-chan: O.O I'm not sure I've had anyone tell me my chapters were too long before! Most of the time you hear complaints that chapters are too short. I'm happy I made you squee, that's fun! That's quite the compliment, there are a lot of really good authors on ff.net, I don't really think I compare to the likes of SF, Gallatica, Stitcher2ficcer, and many others.

Kaida: I'm sorry you have had a rough time, but I'm glad my story could do its part in cheering you up. It's really nice to hear that I can affect someone that much. I've certainly been affected myself by some of the best stories, but this is the first time I've been told that mine did it. I do love these guys, and I'm glad it comes through in my writing. Your review really made me smile.

ForsakenOn3: Well, things are winding down, so they do get kind of peaceful. I presume you are talking about the end of the desert arc, when Sanzo collapses on the sand with his hand on Goku's head. Or maybe 49, when he sits down with Goku in his arms after limiting him? I love both of those scenes, they are so sweet! How can anyone watch those and still not think these guys belong together?

Amelia Glitter: Another reader coming out of stealth mode! Welcome, I'm glad to hear you are enjoying this. I'm always pleased to be told I'm keeping them in character, it's difficult, but something I work hard at. I hope you liked this chapter.

pratz: Ch.13 is very introspective for Sanzo, but he does think a lot! He's got to be thinking about something during all that time he does nothing but smoke and stare out the window! I'm glad you liked that last paragraph, I like it too!


	15. Desires Culminated

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 15: Desires Culminated

**Yaoi warning****. **This gets pretty graphic, don't read it if you don't like M/M lovemaking.

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Goku followed Sanzo down the inn hallway to their new room, the last room on the right, a couple doors down from the others. As much as he wanted the comfort of being near the monk, the first thing he wanted to do was take a bath. The blood on his hands and clothes was all he could smell. The dried spots were making his skin itch and crawl. The coppery scent made his mood spiral downwards again, now that he was outside the comfort of Sanzo's arms. He was covered with the blood of countless others, both friend and foe, though it was the friend part that bothered him most. Remorse surged through him again, and he snuck a look at Sanzo. The scratches on the monk's face and neck made him feel horribly guilty, though he covered it up with a smile when the man glanced at him. Sanzo's suspicious look made him think he had not hidden it well. Goku glanced away, uncomfortable with the way Sanzo seemed to see right through him.

Sanzo unlocked the door and they stepped inside. Goku scanned the room: much the same as the room they were in before, with the exception of one double bed instead of four singles. And… oh, could it be true? "Sanzo, this room has a bathroom attached!" A large tub sat to one side, and it was all he could do not to start stripping off his bloody garments right away.

Sanzo followed him into the bathroom, commenting, "Hakkai must have asked for this specifically. Probably realized you hadn't had a chance to bathe yet."

"And boy, do I need it. I stink." Goku tried his best to sound like his normally cheerful self, but the effort fell flat. He could tell Sanzo was not fooled.

The monk shot him a sharp glance. "Come here."

The younger man hung back, shaking his head slightly. He was unwilling to bring his sullied presence closer to Sanzo.

"Yes."

Goku took a tentative step closer. "I need to wash. I want the blood off…" His voice trailed into silence.

Sanzo closed the distance, cupped his chin in gentle fingers, and brought their foreheads together. "Do what you need to. I'll be here." He emphasized the words with a tender kiss.

Goku smiled at him, a real smile this time. "Thanks, Sanzo… for everything."

Sanzo returned the smile and walked back into the bedroom. "Take your time."

Goku closed the door and stripped off his soiled clothing as quickly as he could. He pushed the pile as far away as he could, trying to remove himself from the tainted reminder of his sin. Twisting the tap as far as it would go, he made the water as hot as he could stand it. It took hardly any time to fill the bathtub, and he sunk into the hot water gratefully. He dunked his head under, trying to get the blood off as quickly as possible. Sitting back with a sigh, he took the washcloth and soap and began to scrub at his skin. If only the marks on his soul were as easy to remove. He scrubbed and scrubbed until every inch of skin he could reach was pink and stinging. He still did not feel clean, and threw the cloth at the wall in frustration. It fell onto the floor with a watery plop. Damn it. Would he never be clean again? His head dropped and he brought his knees to his chest. Tears trickled down his cheeks. He could not stop blaming himself for what had happened. Despite what they had all said, he was the cause of their pain. He and he alone had put them at risk. How could they forgive him so easily when he could not forgive himself? He swiped at his eyes angrily. He could never atone for his sin against them. And he could never be sure he would not do it again.

Goku wondered whether it would be better if he not continue the journey, but he dismissed the thought quickly. He could not leave Sanzo. Hadn't the man just said he wanted him with him? Even if he had not said it, Goku could not imagine his life without Sanzo. He would wither up and die without the light from his sun. He had tried to become stronger, for Sanzo, for all of them, but he was still the same needy child. An out-of-control child that tried to kill them occasionally, but a child nonetheless. It was not like the others would ever say it was true, but he felt it regardless. When would he be able to hold his head up and get the respect that he so wanted from them? But he was not worthy of it, no matter how much he wanted to be. Their caring words only made him feel worse, for he knew he did not deserve them.

Goku sniffled, wiping at his cheeks with the back of his hand. He was not doing anyone any good moping around like this. He knew he had to buck up and face them all. There must be something he could do to make things better. He would do whatever he had to. He could not stand it if they looked at him as a monster, despite the fact that it was how he saw himself.  He would hold onto his guilt as long as necessary to remind himself of what he had come so close to losing.

A sound at the doorway and the drift of a familiar smell brought Goku's head up. Sanzo was leaning against the doorframe, a cigarette in one hand. The blonde was looking at him in a way that sent shivers down Goku's spine despite the hot water. "S-Sanzo. I didn't hear the door."

"Seems to me you were too concerned with beating yourself up." There was a gentleness in the tone that he rarely heard.

Goku immediately became defensive of his guilt. "Only reminding myself of the truth."

Sanzo sighed. "What truth? That you're a monster? That you don't deserve to be with us? Those are not truths, and no one believes them except you."

"That doesn't make them untrue. What am I supposed to think after what I did?"

"Didn't we just go through this outside? Listen to me this time. We want you here. You are not a monster."

"Then what am I?" The tears were beginning to overwhelm him again.

Sanzo stubbed the cigarette out on the wall and tossed the butt into the trash. Approaching the tub, he crouched down to be at Goku's eye level. "You're you. That's all we expect you to be. It's all _I_ need you to be."

Goku was caught in the care radiating from those calm violet eyes. "How can you so easily forgive what I did?"

"It wasn't you that did it. It might be different if you knowingly tried to kill us, but that wasn't you. It was your body, but not your mind, and that's what makes you who you are." Sanzo hesitated and bit his lip, then went on. "And because…" Sanzo reached forward and brushed the tears off Goku's cheeks with a gentle touch. "… because I care about you, Goku. You've come to mean as much to me as I mean to you. If this hadn't happened, I wouldn't have realized that." The monk leaned in and touched their lips together. Goku grabbed at Sanzo's shirt with a wet hand and pulled him closer, clinging to him. He needed this, needed his warmth. It was the only thing that drove the shadowy demons away.

****

Sanzo finally pulled back, easing Goku's fist off his shirt. "I think this is something better continued after you are out of the tub." Pausing to roll up his sleeves, he picked up the washcloth from the floor and lathered it with soap. Goku looked at him wide-eyed. "Well, do you want my help or not?" He was careful to keep any irritation out of his voice; Goku was upset enough as it was. To his surprise, the young man blushed. Sanzo snorted. As if he had not been sitting here the whole time; not to mention the fact that they had already been intimate once. After all the time they had lived together, suddenly the saru had developed a sense of modesty.

"Come on, scoot forward." As usual when given a direct command, Goku obeyed, still blushing. Placing a hand on the younger man's arm to steady himself, Sanzo began to wash his back, rubbing in gentle circles. The muscles under his hand tensed slightly at his initial touch, but relaxed under his movement. The frown on Goku's face was slowly replaced by an expression of pure bliss. At last he was calming down. Sanzo had found the look of utter despair that had been on his face frightening. It made him want to hurt someone. He mentally laughed at himself. Who was being overprotective now? He was determined not to let those golden eyes be shadowed like that again.

Turning his attention back to his task, he admired the smooth muscles of Goku's back and shoulders, even more alluring now than they had looked under his shirt. The young man really was amazing. So much power so tightly contained. It was sometimes easy to forget that Goku was the strongest of their group, but not when confronted by the evidence at such close range. Sanzo brought his other hand into play, reveling in the feeling of strength under his palms. Goku shivered slightly at the touch, and the shiver repeated itself in Sanzo. Gods, what was he getting himself into?

Forcing his mind back onto neutral pathways, Sanzo was struck by how much Goku had grown up recently. Even his level of guilt at what had happened spoke of more maturity than he had possessed at the start of their journey. He had not reacted this badly the other times he had become Seiten Taisei. Perhaps now, with Sanzo's help, he would be better able to control the power contained within him. Reluctantly sitting back on his haunches, Sanzo then stood up and moved away from the tub. "Come on. I think you're clean enough."

Goku started to stand up, but hesitated, looking at Sanzo with another blush. When the blonde didn't move, he turned around and stood up slowly. Sanzo had to withhold a startled gasp. With the water running off his lithe, tanned body, Sanzo found him breathtaking. Reaching blindly behind himself for a towel, he tossed it to the brunette. Goku grabbed it out of the air and wrapped it around his waist. When he turned around, there was uncertainty in his eyes.

Sanzo extended a hand to help him out of the tub, but Goku didn't take it. Looking away, the youkai asked softly, "How can you stand to touch me?"  _'After what I did.'_ The words were unspoken, but came across clearly, and Sanzo understood now the shame that had made Goku blush and which he had mistaken for modesty.

Sanzo reached out further to grasp Goku's elbow. "Don't be childish. Come on, get out."

Goku did as requested, but backed away as soon as he could. "I'm not being childish." He grabbed another towel and turned away from Sanzo, drying his hair.

"Yes, you are." The monk sighed. Obviously his words were not enough. The guilt Goku was feeling ran too deep. A few steps brought him behind the young man, and Sanzo wrapped his arms around him, pulling him back against his chest. Goku was unresponsive, refusing to relax into the embrace. Nuzzling at his neck, Sanzo added, "Do you have any idea just how much I want to touch you?"

Goku stiffened and pulled away, walking into the bedroom and sitting down on the edge of the bed. His face was etched with sorrow, and his eyes glistened with tears again. He propped his elbows up on his knees and buried his face in his hands. His words were anguished. "Why? I've wanted this for so long. But I don't deserve it."

Sanzo could not help but feel frustrated. They were repeating the same arguments again and again. He fought down his rising impatience. What could he possibly do to make Goku understand? He walked over and crouched in front of the young man, pulling his hands away from his face. "Look at me." Goku turned his face away, blinking desperately to hide his tears. Sanzo shook him slightly. "Look at me!" Slowly, the youkai met his eyes. "I know you're hurting. I can't stop that. But I won't leave you alone with that pain."

Goku searched his face, questioning his sincerity. Wanting to reassure him, Sanzo laced their fingers together and squeezed slightly. "I care about you. It's taken me a long time to realize that." He had to get Goku to think about what he was doing. The young man was trapped in the nightmare of his actions and refusing to take the comfort Sanzo was anxious to give him. "You said you loved me, why push me away now?"

A look of horror crossed Goku's face. Dropping to his knees in front of Sanzo, he threw his arms around him and buried his face in his neck. The quiet sobs that shook the young body and the wetness on his neck told Sanzo Goku had finally let go, and he felt his own tension dissolve. Shifting slightly to get more comfortable, Sanzo wrapped his arms around Goku's shoulders and held him close. He twined a hand in Goku's hair and pressed a kiss on the side of his head.

He was not sure how long they stayed that way, but as Goku's sobs slowed, Sanzo realized his legs were numb. He stood slowly, pulling the young man up with him, and Goku did not resist. The arms around him tightened. "I'm not going anywhere, Goku. It's going to be okay."

The young man did not answer, but his breathing evened out and the sobs stopped entirely. Sanzo rubbed his back in slow circles, trying to suppress the warm feelings being kindled by the bare skin under his palm. He was filled with desire for the young man pressed against him, but unlike their previous encounter, the desire was further enhanced by his feelings. Goku had allowed him to decide if this was what he wanted, and he had. He _wanted_ Goku, in every sense of the word. He wanted the earth spirit, body and soul, and he wanted to give of himself in the same way. 

Finally Goku loosened his grip and took a step back. That was exactly what Sanzo had been waiting for. He crouched slightly and slipped an arm behind Goku's knees, lifting the young man and placing him on the bed. Sanzo half expected an outraged outburst, and was disconcerted when none came. Goku stayed still, hair shadowing his eyes. Sanzo took a second to strip off his shirt, then crawled onto the bed, sliding down until he was nose to nose with Goku. He brushed the young man's bangs back, and the golden eyes slid closed. Sanzo frowned, frustrated to be so tantalized by Goku when the youkai was too eaten by guilt to react. He understood how Goku must have felt last night. Sanzo stroked Goku's arm from his shoulder to his hand and interlaced their fingers. He examined their hands, noting how well they fit together, admiring the contrast of tanned skin with pale ivory. He squeezed slightly, and Goku hesitantly squeezed back. "You said you don't deserve me. Why? Because of what happened? It's just one event in our journey, nothing more, nothing less. Because you couldn't control yourself? The blame is not only yours. It was _my_ life you were trying to protect." Goku opened his eyes slightly and Sanzo tightened his hold on his hand. "Yes, a part of you is dangerous, but that's who you are. I didn't hate you for it before, and I don't now. I've accepted it and all the consequences that go with it, and you have to do the same."

Goku's eyes were fully open now, and while they were at first colored by disbelief, the more Sanzo said, the more that faded. "But—"

"No more buts. You haven't listened to a word I've said. I'm not going to say them all again." If he could not get the young man to listen, he would have to show him. Sanzo placed Goku's hand over his heart, his breathing deepening at the warmth of the younger man's palm on his breast. "Feel that? It means I'm still alive. And you are too. You have always rejoiced in life; and without knowing it until now, I've drawn strength from your joy; don't stop now." He pressed his lips against Goku's, and the young man slowly responded. Sanzo poured all his care and concern into their joining, and Goku absorbed it like a sponge.

Sanzo felt his skin beginning to heat, and broke their kiss, careful not to let himself get carried away too quickly. Goku gave him a small smile, and relief at getting a response swept through Sanzo. He laced his legs with Goku's, pulling him closer, and placed a light kiss on his forehead, then his cheek, then barely brushed their lips together. Raising himself up on one elbow, he breathed gently into the young man's ear, and Goku squirmed beneath him. Sanzo trailed his hand down Goku's back, stopping at the edge of the towel still tightly wrapped around his waist. Tugging gently on the terrycloth edge, he loosened it enough to reach inside. As his fingertips caressed the soft skin of Goku's ass, Sanzo held his breath, desire pulsing through his veins. Goku shivered against him, stoking Sanzo's fire. Closing his eyes for a moment as he tried to restrain himself, he was surprised when lips caressed his neck. The feeling was exquisite, and he arched his back, no longer able to conceal his arousal. He forced himself to pull away, wanting to give Goku whatever time he needed.

Goku looked into Sanzo's eyes and placed a gentle hand on his neck, drawing him forward. Lips just barely touching, the younger man whispered a single word. "Please." It was all the encouragement Sanzo needed. He pressed down on Goku, forcing him to roll onto his back, trapping his hand underneath the young man as their lips stroked each other. He freed the hand with little difficulty, and trailed his fingers up Goku's side, leaving goose bumps in their wake. Goku threaded both hands in his hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss. They were wrapped together, breathing each other in with every heave of their chests. Sanzo's head spun, and every inch of his skin was flushed with desire. The feeling of Goku's body was intoxicating, and he could not stop touching him, caressing him. Every movement of their bodies, every contact of their tongues, burned with their passion for each other, newly discovered emotions sending that passion soaring to ever-greater heights. Goku's gentle touch on his neck, his back, his shoulders, slowly growing more forceful, was filled with love. Their lips quoted volumes of unspoken poetry, sonnets of adoration and ardor. 

Sweat-slicked skin slid against skin, and their heartbeats pulsed in time. Goku's towel was gone, tossed away by one of them, Sanzo knew not which. The young man's hands were currently fumbling with his zipper, tugging his pants down and away, and then they were both naked. Sanzo's flesh sang with exhilaration at the freedom to touch and be touched. His every nerve fired overwhelming sensations into his brain, and he was consumed by the alluring young man beneath him. Their wordless communication grew more heated as their souls intertwined. Sanzo was not sure where he ended and Goku began. They seemed to know each other as intimately as they knew themselves, caressing, kissing, stroking in just the right places. Sanzo's head swam, his own thudding heart drowning out coherent thought. Strong hands pressed against him, ripping a moan from his throat, gentle motion taking his breath away. He returned the attention, and vaguely heard Goku groan. His name caught his attention, and he was filled with the need to hear it again. No one could ever say his name the way Goku did, filling each syllable with such emotion.

Sanzo increased the tempo of his movement, and Goku's moans increased in volume. Passion thrummed through him at the cries, making his body quiver. He tasted Goku, and the young man's earthy scent filled his senses. Sanzo was filled with the vibrations that coursed through the lithe, tanned body beneath him. They reverberated in his body and mind, breaking him apart and reassembling him in new and unfamiliar shapes. He was becoming what he needed to be, one who could call Goku his, and be called Goku's in return. Sanzo ached with the need to be joined with Goku, to complete their unification. He wanted to spill his emotions into the younger man, and receive the assurance that they were returned. Hands gripped his shoulders tightly, digging into his muscles in a combination of pleasure and pain. Sanzo luxuriated in the strange sensation as it increased his ever-growing need.

Their union was a shock for both of them, and they gasped. Sanzo was fulfilled by the sense of completeness that swept over him. It was as if he had been missing a part of himself without even knowing it, and now it had returned to him. His movements were slow and deliberate, controlled by his desire to make this last as long as possible. Goku panted beneath him, hands clenched around his forearms, legs locked around his back, urging him on. The young man choked out the first coherent sentence he had said since they had begun. "Gods, Sanzo. Don't stop."

Despite his body's desire to clench his eyes shut and throw his head back, Sanzo kept his gaze on Goku. The younger man's eyelids fluttered open and closed, pupils rolled back as he struggled to breathe, lips parted and red from hard use. A flush colored his skin under his tan, and sweat rolled down his face. He moved with Sanzo, speeding up the pace, deepening their contact. Sanzo struggled to keep control of himself, fighting a losing battle. The combination of the intense pleasure and the feelings he shared with Goku were too much for him. He moaned Goku's name as wave after wave of pleasure slammed into him, stealing his breath. Goku was chanting his name as if it was a sacred prayer, getting louder with every stroke. Sweat and damp hair dripped into Sanzo's eyes, and he freed a hand to brush them away. Wanting to pleasure just as much as he was being pleased, Sanzo grasped Goku. The young man pounded his free hand into the blankets, gripping them in a white knuckled fist, twisting them as he squirmed.

It did not take much longer for Goku to hit his peak. His head slammed into the bed and his back arched as he screamed Sanzo's name. His release tipped Sanzo over the edge on which he had been riding for so long. With a hiss, his eyes clenched shut and his mind exploded in a golden haze. His lips formed words of their own volition as his heart spoke them. "I love you, Goku."

As the intensity subsided, Sanzo pitched forward, barely holding his body off Goku's with trembling arms. He forced his eyes open, only to see Goku staring at him in shock. "Did… did you just say what I think you said?"

Sanzo pulled back, turning his body to the side and collapsing next to Goku. Still panting, he replied, "What do you think I said?"

"That you… love me?" Goku's voice was full of hope as he stared at the man he loved.

"Then why did you ask?" Even now, it was not in Sanzo's nature to answer a stupid question.

"I love you, too." The young man's reply came from the depths of his soul.

Sanzo pulled Goku into his arms and placed an exhausted kiss on his lips. Goku responded with all the passion he could muster, and they exchanged assurances of love in the simple contact. The kiss was soft and brief, but held the promise of many more to come, many more days spent together. Their heartbeats slowed, and their breathing evened out. Goku laid his head on Sanzo's chest and wrapped an arm around him, snuggling close. Sanzo laced their fingers together and hugged the younger man with his free arm. Complete in their love for each other, they closed their eyes and slept.

****

A/N:

That was so much fun to write! _This_ is why I love these two together!

We blew away 300 reviews! The number of reviewers for each chapter keeps on growing! **_Hands out brownies with '300' written on them in white chocolate icing_** We are almost done with this journey, thank you all for holding on to the end!

I want to take a moment to pitch a fic for a good friend of mine, Me-Nuriko. She just started 'Cho Hakkai: Murderer?', and it's quite good. It's a 5x8, but I guess we can't hold that against her. (Just kidding!) Go read it if you have a chance.

I hate to mix fandoms, but I recently made an addition to my manga collection, and I had to make mention of it here. If you are a yaoi fan (and I'm assuming if you are reading this you are), then you _must_ read FAKE. It's a great romance between two complete bishies, with great kissing scenes in every volume. Dee reminds me a lot of Gojyo, I think that's one reason I liked it so much. If you read it and like it, or are already a fan, drop me a line, I'd love to talk to someone about it. Actually, I'm always up for meeting new friends, so if you want to chat about anything at all, drop me an email. I _need_ more people to squeal over the guys with!

stitcher2ficcer, you really are amazing!

Phoe-chan: Yeah, but fluff is good, right? I think you need to pass some of that food this way, I need it after this chapter!

Pervasive Threnody: I don't want it to end either, but it has to sometime, or you all would get _really_ tired of me! I love Tender!Sanzo as well, and I don't think it's completely OOC for him. He has his moments in both the manga and the anime. Of course, I may have stretched it a _little_ bit in this chapter, but that's one of the perks of being a writer, right? (Of course, he's fun as a bastard as well! J)

iamzuul: I'm glad you like this! 'Fear Itself' is just wonderful, and I'm looking forward to more! I try to keep the Sanzo sap to a minimum, and stitcher2ficcer helps keep me in line.

goku-the-saru: If you liked 14, I'm hoping you loved this one! I agree, the world can't get better than good Sanzo/Goku interaction!

Fish1: No, as you can see, 14 wasn't the end, and this isn't either, but we are almost there. I'm happy you are enjoying my little story! (Though I guess it isn't so little anymore, is it? 60,000 words, yikes!)

Akiko Koishii: Thanks!

Chibi Wingzero: Thank you! I'm glad to hear you say that about Sanzo. And I have tortured poor Goku quite a bit, haven't I? He got his reward in this chapter.

Nozomi Anshin: Hakkai has done his best to bring them together, isn't he sweet?

pratz: I think Sanzo _could_ be that sweet if he would just let himself go. I'm glad you found nothing awful or distracting, that's one of the things I'm aiming for! I don't know the book you mentioned, but if you think I would like it, send me an email and tell me about it. I'm always up for anime/manga suggestions!

Lord J: Yes, much angsting, I have a tendancy to do that to these guys. It's just so much fun! **_Looks around in consternation _**I have no idea how I'm going to get all this confetti out of here though.

SuGaR aNiMe FrEaK: I think you were channeling this chapter when you wrote your review! You made me laugh again, and I'll definitely accept a 10.5! I hope this one was just as good!

Sandrine: I'd love some chocolate! I think it's a whole separate food group for me! Thanks for the compliment, I'm glad you are enjoying this so much! This is definitely my favorite couple, and I love to see them together.

Dragon Keeper: I'm sad to see you can't be on ff.net anymore, but I'll definitely send you the chapters. Can't keep my sister in suspense, can I? I'd love to hear about your story ideas, and I have problems with plots as well, so don't worry, you are in the majority! How did you know strawberry shortcake was one of my favorite desserts? Such a yummy summer treat!

Shelley: I've made him angst quite a bit in this chapter, but even Sanzo remarks that he's more affected than he was before. I think his growing relationship with Sanzo (and the others) would make him feel even worse when he threatens their lives. I didn't know this was posted on your birthday, happy (very) belated birthday! I hope this gift has lived up to your expectations. I'm still looking desperately for those scans. If they don't want to go through on my hotmail account, let me know, and I'll give you an alternate email.

Me-Nuriko: It didn't sound bad at all! Yeah, poor Goku, even I feel bad for him, and I did it to him! It just makes coming out of it all the sweeter! I hope you liked this chapter! I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter of your new story!

KazeShinai: Thank you! Your praise really makes me smile!

Amelia Glitter: You're just wonderful to say that, I'm glad I inspired warm fuzzies! I love it when a story does that to me!

Crimson1: You know, I wonder the same thing. Why _can't_ Sanzo get it together like this in the anime? Wouldn't that be the most delicious episode to watch? Your ideas sound good, I hope to see them in print sometime.

Am1-13th: I don't think anyone has told me that my writing made it their lucky day, but I like it! More 39 sweetness here, and you finally got the lemon you asked for before. Hope it was worth it.

Zelgadiss55: Reviews like yours really make my day. I didn't used to do a lot of reviewing either, and it took a special story to pull one out of me. Knowing that this was one for you makes me feel really good. I'm glad you are liking it so much, and I hope to hear more good things from you. I didn't want to rush Sanzo, it just wouldn't be in character for him. He needed to think things through and be frightened by possible loss before he could face what he feels. In my opinion, at least. I don't know if I would classify myself as obsessed with yaoi pairings (okay, yeah, I probably would!), but these two just grab me and won't let go. I wanted to write this to share that feeling, I'm glad I've succeeded with you.

littlefreeze: I'm glad you've joined us, and I'm happy you like it!

Angel Baby: Your review was just wonderful, I'm so glad you liked it that much. Every once in a while I hit upon something that just seems to work, and it's nice to see that someone agrees with me. Your angst senses are tingling? I've never heard of those, but that must be what's ringing in the back of my head all the time! I'm such an angst freak. (As if it didn't show!) And I agree, I don't think I've ever read a chapter that was too long!

Eclipse45: I have been painfully remiss in getting back to you, and I'm dreadfully sorry. I'll do it as soon as I can, don't worry. Yeah, Sanzo is complex, that's what makes him so much fun. He was incredibly hard to write at the beginning, but I'm feeling much more comfortable with him now (though I do have to fight my urges to make him too soft), and he's definitely my favorite character to write. I don't know about the Hakkai thing, I don't know that I could do a good job with him. Now Gojyo, him I could write. Hmmm…. **_Runs off to jot down plot ideas_**

Silver on the Tree: I've never had coffee pie, but I'll try it if you say it's good! I'm glad you liked the nightmare, I was really proud of that part. I hope getting your wisdom tooth removed wasn't too bad. I've never had it done, but most people don't seem to enjoy it much. 350 reviews before the end? Maybe. We will have to see how well received this chapter is!

ForsakenOn3: No, you aren't mad. I've read some of my favorite fics over and over again. (I think I've read 'Awakenings' by stitcher2ficcer at least a dozen times, especially the SanzoxGoku section.), and I enjoy them more every time. They are the sweetest couple, I just can't get enough of them!

gallatica: I'm always excited to hear you are still enjoying this. I hope you liked this chapter. Drop me a line when you get a chance.

ChibiLoner: It's not corny, I love to hear it! You're a sweetie!

Zek Majiri: Wouldn't be much of a romance fic if Sanzo wasn't at least a little nice to Goku. I'm glad you think it worked well.

Bleedformee: I love you, too! I'm dying to hear about your purchases from famine, especially the Saiyuki stuff. I don't have much, and I'm dying to get more!


	16. And It Ends

**Title**: A Simple Kiss – Chapter 16: And It Ends

**Yaoi Warning: Possibly considered R-rated. **If you skipped the lemon in the last chapter, you definitely want to skip this one. I have left the rating at a PG-13 level because my descriptions are not explicit, though my language clearly suggests the actions, but some readers may consider this R-rated.

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Goku did not so much awaken as spring suddenly into the world of the living. He squeezed his half-open eyes shut against a mild wave of fear. If waking nightmares were waiting for him, as they had been the last time he had woken, he wanted to prepare himself first. Extending his senses, he noted that nothing seemed to be amiss, and as he began to relax, he realized that he could see light through his eyelids. Cracking one eye tentatively open, he was blinded by the light shining through the window. The sun was higher in the sky than he had expected, and he estimated that it was close to noon. A low growl from his stomach confirmed that thought, and he realized he had not eaten anything since the day before.

A soft sound caught his attention, and he turned his head, mildly surprised. He had not forgotten he was not in bed alone, he just had not thought about it yet, afraid it might be a dream. Sanzo was curled up beside him, head resting on his shoulder, one arm thrown casually over his chest. The blonde was sleeping peacefully, though as Goku moved, he buried his head farther into the young man's shoulder to escape the sunlight, and his arm tightened around Goku's chest. A contented smile spread across the younger man's face. This morning's remarkable events had overwhelmed his consuming grief. He had never thought he would hear Sanzo tell him he loved him. It was… wonderful. Goku gently brushed the hair away from Sanzo's eyes. "I love you, Sanzo," he whispered.

A violet eye peeked open, focusing on his face. "I know." Goku was not disappointed at the response; he had not really expected to hear words of love again so soon. But someday… he hoped he would hear them again. For now, actions were enough.

It was slightly awkward, but Goku tilted his head down and gave Sanzo a light kiss. It was sleepily returned, then the monk sat up and stretched. Goku did the same, enjoying the feeling of muscles awakening after a long sleep. His stomach sounded again, and Sanzo quirked an eyebrow at him. "I'm not surprised you're hungry. I'm actually astonished it didn't get you up before now."

Goku blushed. "Well, you did tire me out." He was amused to see Sanzo flush as well.

The man turned his head to hide it. "Something had to be done to get you out of your funk. And as usual, _I_ had to do it."

Goku grinned. "It worked." He leaned in until he was nose to nose with Sanzo and lowered his voice to a deep growl. "I wanna do it again."

The monk blushed even brighter and shoved him away. "Not now, stupid monkey. I'm hungry, even if you're not." He got up from the bed, grabbing his clothes from the floor, and began to dress.

"Hey! I'm not a monkey! And I _am_ hungry." Goku hopped out of bed and seized Sanzo by the arm, swinging the man around to face him. "But not only for food."

Sanzo seemed at a loss, though Goku did not know if it was because of his statement or their nakedness. Goku took advantage of his hesitation and pressed their bodies together, raising his head for a kiss. The bodily contact shook Sanzo out of his daze, and the monk eagerly seized his lips, but only for a moment. Shoving Goku away again, he began buttoning up his shirt, hands shaking only slightly. "I said not now! Get dressed."

Goku grinned widely, then sauntered over to his bag, digging until he had uncovered his extra clothes. It only took a moment for him to get dressed, and when he looked up, Sanzo was watching him, an odd light in his eyes. "What?"

The monk shook his head slightly. "Nothing. Come on, Hakkai and Gojyo are probably waiting for us."

Goku had been headed out of the room, but on hearing the names of his missing companions, he stopped in his tracks. He stood still for a moment, then leaned forward, pressing his forehead against the door. Shame wrapped a tight fist around his heart. With his thoughts so completely focused on Sanzo, he had forgotten that he had not yet faced his friends. Would they turn from him in disgust? Would they flay him with words of accusation? Or worse, would they lie to him and pretend that everything was fine, as they had early this morning? Goku slammed his fist into the door. After a week full of stress he was frustrated, tired of feeling all this guilt and confusion. He raised his arm to punch the door again when a strong grip caught his hand. "Stop it!" The forceful command tore through his turbulent thoughts. He was about to protest when a hand grabbed his shoulder and whipped him around, face-to-face with an irritated monk. "Are you trying to hurt yourself?"

Goku sagged back against the door, looking away. He was not sure what to say, so he said nothing. His silence only aggravated Sanzo further. "What the hell's the matter with you?"

"I… I'm not hungry." He did not want to admit to Sanzo that he was anxious again.

The monk narrowed his eyes. "Why are you lying to me?"

"I…" Goku lowered his head and fixed his eyes on the floor. "I… don't know."

"You don't know what's wrong, or you don't know why you're lying to me?" Sanzo's voice was harsh, but it was not the worst he had heard from the man.

"I'm sorry." He was not really sure why he was apologizing, but it felt like the right thing to do.

Sanzo sighed, and now there was gentleness in his tone. "Let's go, Goku. You'll feel better after you eat."

Goku sank down to the floor and laid his head on his knees. "I can't. I can't face them after what I did again."

"Yes, you can. How is it any different than facing me?"

"Like that was easy…" Goku muttered. Of course there was a difference. Gojyo and Hakkai were his friends, but Sanzo… he loved Sanzo. That made a huge difference.

Sanzo's voice cracked like a whip. "Quit acting like a child!"

"I'm not, damn it. I just don't want to see them yet!" His frustration with himself was a red-hot coal in the center of his chest.

Sanzo scowled at him. "You have nothing to be anxious about. They won't condemn you for what happened, any more than I do. Hakkai and Gojyo are your friends."

"I know! But… I still—" His protest was cut off Sanzo's fan smashing down on his head in a motion so fast he did not see it coming.

"Enough! I won't have you feeling sorry for yourself."

His head hurt, his heart hurt, and now he was being yelled at. The morning's happiness in finally coming together with Sanzo was evaporating before his very eyes. It was more than he could deal with. Goku surged to his feet and stood toe to toe with the monk. "And why not? Why can't I? Everyone else seems to be able to wallow in self-pity but not me! You do it often enough but I'm not allowed to. Why do I always have to be happy? Will the world stop if I stop smiling for a little while?"

Sanzo's surprise at his outburst was evident. Eyes wide, the monk leaned back slightly to put some distance between them, but he did not step back. He stayed silent for a moment, and Goku awaited his response, with muscles tight. Sanzo looked away when he finally said, "Mine might."

Before he truly comprehended the words, Goku launched himself at Sanzo, wrapping his arms around the monk's waist and burying his face into the man's neck. "I love you so much, Sanzo," he murmured into the soft skin under his lips. Sanzo shivered slightly, rekindling Goku's desire. Despite his hunger, he was not ready to face his friends, and so he sought the only distraction that made him feel whole. He fumbled with the buttons on Sanzo's shirt, almost tearing them off in his haste.

Sanzo stepped away from him. "Goku, what do you think—"

His need controlling his actions, Goku let him get no further. He ripped Sanzo's shirt from his body and, pausing only a moment to pull off his own, shoved the monk back onto the bed. Sanzo lay stunned as Goku pounced on him, grasping his shoulders and capturing his mouth. When Sanzo tried to push him away, Goku pinned his wrists above his head. Violet eyes narrowed at him, but he was not deterred, reaching down to unzip Sanzo's jeans.

The monk struggled, at first, against his hold, but the flush of his skin and his shuddering breaths told Goku he was not adverse to the idea. The younger man's instincts were confirmed when Sanzo leaned up as best he could and locked onto Goku's lips. The heat inside him flamed outward, searing his skin wherever it touched the monk's flesh.

Sanzo ran his tongue over Goku's lips, and Goku willingly parted them, welcoming the invasion. They tasted one another, exploring each other's depths, their tongues dancing a sensual dance as their bodies pressed together. He ran his tongue down Sanzo's neck, nipping at his skin lightly. The man's head fell back, exposing more of his skin to the pleasurable touch. Goku seized the advantage, tracing Sanzo's collarbones with his tongue, exhilarated by the monk's squirming beneath him. As much as he had enjoyed their previous encounters, being in control increased his pleasure ten-fold.

Wanting to make Sanzo moan, he pressed a kiss on each of his palms, biting lightly at the pulse points of his wrist before drawing his tongue down the man's right arm. Reaching his elbow, Goku nipped at the skin there. Sanzo wriggled beneath him, and Goku held him still with his knees. He repeated the licking caress on the other arm, and this time he was rewarded by Sanzo's breath catching. Maintaining his hand on Sanzo's wrists, Goku moved down to catch the tip of the blonde's ear between his teeth. Biting gently, he traced the curves with his lips. He snaked his tongue behind Sanzo's ear and down his neck, pausing to nip again at his collarbone. Goku could tell Sanzo was struggling to keep quiet, but was unable to stop the moans that broke from his throat.

Goku closed his eyes as Sanzo took his lips in a kiss, rough and harsh, but no less pleasurable. Finally releasing Sanzo's wrists, Goku propped himself on his elbows, enjoying the pleasure of his lover's lips. Sanzo's hands slid over his chest, fingernails faintly marking his skin. There was no pain, only incredible desire. He slid off Sanzo, and was amused when the monk made a slight sound of disappointment. Ignoring it, he tugged at Sanzo's jeans. "These have got to go."

There were no complaints. Sanzo raised his hips to speed up the process, and Goku yanked his jeans off and tossed them to the floor. He divested himself of his own pants and hopped onto the bed again. Sanzo had turned on his side, and when Goku landed next to him, he pulled the younger man close. Pressing full length against each other, their excitement was apparent. Sanzo moved slightly, and the resulting friction brought gasps from both of them. When Sanzo suckled at Goku's neck, Goku's whole body throbbed with desire. Fingertips just barely traced lines down Goku's smooth skin and he shivered against the touch. Wanting to feel every inch of the older man's body, he ran a hand over his hip, gripping the prominent bones there and pulling him tightly against himself.

Goku quivered with suppressed emotion. With one hand entangled in soft golden hair, he insinuated his other hand between their bodies, his action making Sanzo abandon the bruise he was leaving to moan quietly. The sound turned Goku on even more than he already was. It seemed to resonate his head, filling him. Wanting to hear more, he pushed Sanzo further, and could not suppress a satisfied smirk when Sanzo gasped. Unfortunately for him, it was at that moment that Sanzo looked at him.

Violet eyes narrowed, and a hand shot between them, grasping him. Despite the speed of the movement, the grip was gentle. A quick stroke was all it took for Goku to release his own moan. The look on Sanzo's face was pure satisfaction. Refusing to relinquish his dominance, Goku used his body weight to press Sanzo on his back, continuing the encircling caress with his hand. The monk's grip remained firm, but his hand stilled as a shudder passed through his body. Goku slid on top of him. Nose to nose, he attacked Sanzo's mouth, and Sanzo replied with equal passion as he wrapped his arms around Goku.

Goku's love for Sanzo colored every breath, every movement. Breathing heavily, he pulled away and slid down Sanzo's body, pressing his legs apart, leaving a wet trail down his chest with his tongue. He felt Sanzo grip his shoulders tightly as he took him into his mouth, and he reveled in the taste that was uniquely Sanzo. The blonde's groans filled his ears, loud in the quiet room. Goku could hear Sanzo struggling to breathe, his nerves seared by the pleasure Goku lavished on him. Wanting more, Goku replaced his mouth with his hand and whispered, "I'll be right back."

He slithered up Sanzo's body, sweat coating them both. When Sanzo made no indication of having heard him, he placed a kiss on the man's nose. The violet eyes finally locked onto his face, and Sanzo gasped out, "What?"

"I said, 'I'll be right back'." Goku slid off the bed and jogged into the bathroom to get a small bottle of lotion. Returning to the bedroom, he explained, "I noticed this earlier, and I thought we might… need it." He paused slightly as he said it, afraid that he might be pushing things. The monk reached for the bottle, but Goku pulled it back and shook his head, their eyes meeting. Understanding his intention, Sanzo hesitated, but finally nodded his acquiescence. Goku couldn't stop a grin.

He poured a small amount of lotion into his hands and began to gently explore Sanzo's body in ways he never would have thought the man would allow. Sanzo said nothing to halt his actions, and he seemed to relax and lose himself in Goku's passion. A slight look of discomfort crossed the monk's face as Goku completed their joining, but it soon melted into a look of overwhelming pleasure. His eyes were screwed shut and he gasped for air, hands twisting the blankets beneath him as the two rocked together as one. Slightly worried over his reaction, Goku paused, and asked huskily, "You okay?"

Sanzo answered by seizing his arms and pulling him down for a kiss. The monk sucked on Goku's lower lip until the younger man pulled back and began to rock again. Goku was consumed by the intense heat coursing through his body, unlike anything he had ever experienced before. He lost himself, knowing nothing except for the pleasure thrumming through him. He heard himself call out Sanzo's name, heard the call answered with his own name. His passion built to a fever pitch. Flashes of light blinded his vision, and he shut his eyes against them, only to have them appear even more vividly in the blackness.

It felt as though hours of extreme pleasure had passed when Sanzo finally hit his peak and cried out, head slamming back onto the bed. Goku moaned Sanzo's name only moments later and froze, locked into position as his whole body shook. They stayed that way until the trembling had slowed, and then he collapsed next to the blonde. Still breathing heavily, Goku pulled himself closer to Sanzo, snuggling into the welcoming embrace. Sanzo wrapped an arm around him and held him close as Goku placed an exhausted kiss on his neck. He wished, just for a moment, that it did not have to end, that they could lie here forever.

Only a short time passed, however, before Goku's stomach reminded him that given all the energy he had put out, he had not eaten in a long time. He was still hesitant about seeing Gojyo and Hakkai, but Sanzo's physical reassurance of how much he cared bolstered Goku's flagging confidence. He was ready now. Rising up on one elbow, Goku kissed Sanzo lightly on the lips.

The monk looked at him, and asked quietly, "Feeling better?"

Goku smiled. "Much."

"Good. Think we can actually make it downstairs this time?" The sarcasm was apparent, but not biting.

"I don't know," Goku teased. "It depends on whether you can make it past me to the door."

Sanzo was exasperated. "Enough already."

Goku laughed. "I didn't hear you complaining a few minutes ago."

Sanzo growled and lightly smacked him on the head. "Go get dressed and leave me in peace!"

"I'm going, I'm going." Ready for the meal waiting downstairs, Goku scrambled into his clothes, and stood patiently by the door as Sanzo dressed. Practically bursting with impatience now, he threw open the door and scampered out, Sanzo following behind, shaking his head in exasperation.

-------

Gojyo glanced at the dining room's entrance for the tenth time in five minutes. "Damn it, I'm not waiting any longer! We have no idea if they're even coming down for lunch and I'm hungry!"

His companion laughed. "Well, I guess we could go ahead and order. I'm really surprised Goku's appetite hasn't driven them down here by now."

The redhead could not suppress a leer. "I guess his appetite for something else was a little stronger."

Hakkai blushed a little at the insinuation. "You don't know that. They had a lot to work out, and they both needed more sleep."

"Yeah, sure. Sleeping. There is no way you really slept through all that noise this morning. I knew Goku could get pretty loud, but damn… I think the next town heard him screaming Sanzo's name."

"Not so loud." Hakkai glanced around, making sure they were still alone. "Say that in front of Sanzo and he'll shoot you. And don't assume I'm going to stop him if you do something stupid." His voice was stern, but there was a twinkle in his eye.

Gojyo glanced over his shoulder guiltily. "Yeah, yeah, I know." Suddenly becoming serious, he propped his head on his hands, elbows resting on the table. "I'm not going to tease Goku about this. I told him I wouldn't. I'm glad for him. He deserves some happiness, even if it is with the damn monk." Hakkai gave him a severe look, and he squirmed a little. "Okay, Okay. I'm happy for Sanzo too. Took him long enough to see what was right in front of him. Maybe he'll be a little less trigger happy now that he's getting some."

Hakkai laughed again. "Don't count on it. He's still Sanzo."

Gojyo was downcast. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

It was Hakkai's turn to become serious. "I hope Goku's feeling better, at least. He was so depressed when he woke up. He looked better when I… happened upon them outside, but still, I'm worried about him."

Just then, Goku ran in the door, looking around wildly and skidding slightly as he changed directions and headed towards their table. Sanzo followed at a more leisurely pace, trying unsuccessfully to appear as if he was not with the overactive young man, just headed in the same direction. It would have worked if his eyes had not followed Goku's every move, the faintest smile gracing his features.

Gojyo tilted his head in Hakkai's direction as he watched Goku head their way. "I'd say he's feeling better." When Goku plopped into the chair beside him, Gojyo tossed the younger man a grin. "Hey there monkey boy! How ya feeling?"

He was dismayed to see a shadow briefly cross Goku's face before the young man answered, his enthusiasm subdued. "I'm good. But… what about you guys? Are you… okay?"

Gojyo had to lean in as the words trailed off. He exchanged a glance with Hakkai, and they silently debated who should answer. The half-breed accepted the push he was given, and turned his eyes back to Goku just in time to see Sanzo squeeze the young youkai's arm reassuringly as he sat down. The action startled him into silence for a moment; it was not something he would have expected to see in public from the normally reserved monk. _Damn, things must have gone **really** well for them._ A sharp poke in the side made him start. They were all looking at him, wondering at his silence, Sanzo's face drawing into a scowl.

"Oh… sorry… Got distracted for a moment… Pretty girl over there, ya know?" He grinned, hoping the lie would suffice. The monk's expression did not change, and Gojyo hurried to continue. "Anyway, stop worrying, Goku. We're fine! Just dandy in fact, thanks to the extra day of rest granted to us by our exalted Sanzo-sama." While Sanzo's scowl had retreated as he spoke, it now came back in full force, and Gojyo smirked at him. He could not pass up a chance to rag the man and opened his mouth to say something else that would probably get him hit, but was stopped by a hard stomp on his foot. Gojyo narrowed his eyes at Hakkai, but was distracted by the healer nodding his head towards Goku.

The young man was sitting with head bowed and shoulders tight, eyes shadowed by his bangs. Apparently Gojyo's flip answer had not made him feel better. Mentally smacking himself for his thoughtlessness, the redhead slid his chair next to Goku's, slinging an arm lightly around the younger man's shoulders. "Hey saru, really, we're good. You healed everything a good night's rest couldn't take care of."

Goku hesitantly met his eyes, and Gojyo smiled at him. Lowering his voice to reach only the young youkai's ears, he reassured him as best he could. "We were more worried about you. Gave us quite the scare. We don't blame you, so don't blame yourself. No harm done. Actually, I'd say some definite good came out of this." Gojyo looked past Goku's shoulder and the golden eyes followed his gaze. Sanzo was watching Goku, a concerned expression on his face. As soon as he realized they were looking at him, he turned away to converse with Hakkai, but not before they both caught sight of the slight blush staining his cheeks.

Goku turned back to Gojyo and they grinned at each other. "Yeah, guess you're right for once, kappa."

Gojyo was relieved by his companion's lifting spirits, and fell into their usual game as he returned to his place. "For once? What the hell do you mean by that? I'm _always_ right! You just don't know enough to realize it, saru."

Slugging him in the shoulder, Goku retorted, "You wish! And don't call me that, kappa!" He stood up, towering over Gojyo in his seated position.

Standing up as well, Gojyo leaned over the boy. "Don't make me beat my rightness into you, monkey boy!"

"I told you not to call me that, water sprite!" Goku was almost yelling now, and as they faced off, inches from each other, Gojyo realized how good it felt to have Goku back to himself.

Their arguing was interrupted by a quiet click, a sound they both recognized. Freezing, they turned in unison to look at Sanzo. He was looking away, arms folded across his chest, but Gojyo could see the gun barrel pointing directly at their heads from the monk's uppermost hand. The half-breed caught Goku's eye and they sat down quietly.

The ensuing silence was broken by a restrained chuckle. Hakkai had one hand over his mouth, trying to hold in his laughter, and not doing a very good job of it. Sanzo glared at him, while Gojyo and Goku met his eyes, trying to suppress their own snickers. The pressure of their combined gazes was too much for Hakkai, and he laughed out loud. "I'm sorry," he said between gasps, "I'm just glad everything is back to normal."

Gojyo and Goku could not help joining in, the tension of the past week swept away by the laughter. Sanzo did not laugh, but the smile he tried to hide was evident to all.

Owari

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A/N:

**_Sob_** Well, this is the end. I'm sorry to see it come, I have enjoyed sharing this with you so much. I'm addicted to your comments and your compliments. I have every intention of continuing to write Saiyuki fiction, and I already have a one-shot written, so look for that around the usual time. Thank you for being with me for this enjoyable journey, and I hope you will all continue with me in the future. One last dessert for the road. **_Hands out Black Forest Cake and Sweet Bean Vanilla Ice Cream to all the fantastic reviewers and readers_**

To my incredible beta, Stitcher2ficcer: What can I say? You have supported me all the way through this story, and it wouldn't be what it is without you. You have encouraged me when I needed it and tamped me down when I got carried away. Despite being a 58 fan, you stuck with me through all the 39 goodness. You helped me believe in my writing when I was having problems, and helped make me a better writer. You are an amazing person, and I can't thank you enough. I love you!

Pervasive Threnody: You're so sweet. I'm glad you thought it was beautiful. Yeah, they are meant for each other, aren't they? Sanzo _always_ cheers me up!

Mitsko: I'm happy they got together too, I love to see them as a couple! I'm glad your excited about this, me too!

Phoe-chan: LOL I'm a smut fan too. Hope you liked this smut as well. (I'm not sure we can classify this one as warm and fluffy.)

iamzuul: If I can remind you of how much you like Sanzo/Goku, then I'm definitely doing my job! It's a great compliment. I'm sure you would do a great job with wet!Goku as well, you should still write it. We always need more Sanzo/Goku fics!

Crimson1: This one is a little more graphic, I hope you still liked it. Here's your ending, though I'm sorry to see to it.

Missantroop: Thanks for the compliment. Lol! Thinking can be bad for all of us!

SuGaR aNiMe FrEaK: Thanks for the yummy goodies! A 20 over 10! Wow, I don't think I can outdo that one. Give Ran a cookie for me, to thank her for her kind review. And one for yourself as well!

bleedformeee: You're such a darling, I love you more and more with each review! I have really enjoyed talking to you and seeing your beautiful drawings. I can't believe how much we have in common! Thanks for the links, I loved them all. You were right, Wild Rock is hot!

Akiko Koishii: Thanks!

Shelley: So what do you think about this one, good dirty or bad dirty? Thanks for the scans, I love them. Yes, we've hit the end, but don't worry, I won't stop writing 3x9 stories. If you get inspired to draw 3x9 fanart, I'd love to see it! I always like pictures of them together, and they are hard to find.

Me-Nuriko: I'm glad you liked 15, I always love to hear what you have to say. The love scene just kind of came out, I think the boys new exactly what they wanted to do. hehe They can be so naughty sometimes.

littlefreeze: Fake is just wonderful, I can't get enough of Ryo and Dee. I just finished watching Gravitation today, have you seen that one? I just _love_ Yuki, he reminds me so much of Sanzo!

WITCH WERE: Yeah, I got a little behind on mediaminer, sorry about that. Should be caught up now, but I'm glad you found me here. I'm going to have to check out Eerie Queerie. Is it graphic? Yeah, I plan on writing more Saiyuki. I've become addicted to this!

Ruby Tsunami: Thank you for the compliment. I don't really think of Sanzo being gay, I think of him as being in love with Goku, not his sex.

goku-the-saru: I want to huggle them to death too, but then I wouldn't be able to write any more stories about them! Lol

Zelgadis55: Aren't author alerts great? I love getting emails telling me about new stories and chapters, it makes me so excited! I know, this chapter had more for you to skim, but I hope you liked it anyway. I love Sanzo like this, he's just so wonderful.

ChibiLoner: Yeah, everything must come to an end. I'm sorry to see it happen as well, I have enjoyed writing this so much! I'd love to chat with you about FAKE, send me a email. It _is_ a wonderful yaoi series. Their kisses are just breathtaking to see. So if Dee is Gojyo, who do you think Ryo is like? I can't decide. I see a little of all of them in him.

Chibi Wingzero: I had to torture him a little more here, but I really wanted a good lead in to the sex. Sorry. I'm not at all a Sanzo/Hakkai fan, I think they would never work out. I don't read their stories.

Celestel: Thanks! I've got a few more things in the works.

Amelia Glitter: Thanks! I'm glad you are enjoying it so much!

Dragon Keeper: O.O How am I ever going to eat all this stuff? Thank you though. Yeah, you were one of my first, and you've stuck with me to the end, thanks! I'm glad I can keep you updated. Thanks for letting me know what you think!

pratz: I'm glad you liked it!

Klee5: You thought that was heavy R? Oh my, what must you think of this lemon!?

Mei Yanohi: You're so sweet in your reviews, I just love you! I agree, we need more Saiyuki lemons. And yeah, I've always thought Goku was more than mature enough to have sex, that's why I wrote him the way I did. And he can be so sexy!

Musegurl18: I'm glad you read my lemon in 15 and liked it, I hope you liked this one as well.

Bakasaru Boi: I'm glad you were able to get caught up with the chapters, and that you liked them.

gallatica: I thought it was PG-13 as well. I'm not so sure about this one, but it's all based on opinion anyway when you are talking about writing. How graphic something turns out to be is pretty much based on your imagination. So what does that say about all of us? hehe Yeah, this is the end, but I will write more 393, don't worry. I'm waiting for some more good 393 stories from you as well!

ForsakenOn3: LOL, I loved your review. I think I should hand out drool shields for 15 and 16, or at least keyboard covers. Hope your nosebleed wasn't too bad.

Eclipse45: Your review just tickled me. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, I promise I'll be better. I don't really think we will hit 400 reviews with just this last chapter, but you never know. I'm going to miss this too, all these great reviews have become such an addiction!

Vidalark: Thank you for your great compliments!

Nikki: Yeah, vacations can be fun, but I hate being away from my computer that long! Just a day or two and I start getting all shaky! Hope you liked how Gojyo reacted to the whole thing.

Silver on the Tree: I have to admit, it was kind of hard to read your review, but I'm glad you reviewed anyway. I'm happy you are liking Sanzo, I've really enjoyed getting him to this point. I just love him! Thanks for the award, I'll put it up on my wall with pride!

TJ Dragonblade: I promise I'll reply to your email, but since you said you were going to get caught up this weekend, I thought I would drop you a short note here. I am just awed by the praise you bestowed on me, I don't really think I deserve it. I'm glad you have enjoyed this so much, and I love hearing how much it has affected others. Writing this story has only increased my love for these two and the Saiyuki world in general, and I love it when I can do it for others. I'm thinking about your idea, and you asked so politely, I think I'm going to do it. It won't be right away, but I've got some ideas for it. I'd love to stay in contact with you, please send me another email if I don't get back to you soon.

Kaida: **_Hands her a box of tissues._** I can't believe I made you cry, I'm sorry! You're very sweet, you make me blush.

ColdandUgly: I'm glad you decided to review, I always like to know how I'm doing. I'm becoming a huge slash fan myself, I can't seem to get enough of it! I have read FAKE quite a few times now, and I just finished watching Gravitation, which I completely loved. I don't have the FAKE OVA yet, but I'm going to buy it soon. I have all 7 volumes of the manga, and they keep getting better. Wait until you see 7, it's just breathtaking. I'm glad you liked the update intervals, I always like it when I don't have to wait too long between chapters of my favorite stories. I'm sending you an email, I hope to hear from you soon.


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